Should you ask partner to return sentimental gifts to their ex-partner ?

It would depend on the situation, on what the gifts were. Personally, I'm the least jealous person I know, so I wouldn't ask: I'd have accepted the person for who they are, who they were and who they will be. A few trinkets don't change that. They may even be important things with happy memories: that's fine. I have some happy memories of ex-girlfriends and no one has the right to ask me to lose them - they certainly don't mean I love my current partner any less. They're part of who I am.

I don't see any reason your partner should have kept them anyways. I been with my man for 2 years now and I think about a year ago I noticed some birthday cards in his dresser from his ex. I threw them away. There is no point in keeping something like that if you are not with the person. Am I right? I don't even know if he knew they were in there and I never told him I threw them either so I don't think it really mattered. But yes if you asked your partner to give them back or get rid of them and they refused to I would definitely want to know why they think they need to keep them! To me something is not sentimental if it is from an ex unless they still had feelings for that person and hoped some day to be with that person again other wise toss the junk! And yes that is what I would think it is JUNK! That was something from the past that should no longer have any meaning!

i will be speaking for myself only in this issue at hand. no, i will not be asking my partner to return any of those gifts at all. i just couldn't care if he keeps them. now, i am thinking that this attitude might be a wrong one. i think that men would like to believe that their woman gets jealous of them because of the fear that the man will be lost to someone else if not watched out for. but i have never asked any of my boyfriends before to be rid of any gift. nor did i ask my husbband to throw away any or all his memorabilia with other women. my ex husband has told me, at the last time we talked, that i never cared enough for him as i never had fought for him good enough, that is, when it comes to any of all those women that he had had in his life.

I couldn't imagine asking my boyfriend give sentimental gifts back to his ex. I mean I have some gifts my ex gave me and I don't think my current would ask me to give them back to my ex. Gifts are gifts to me and sure some have meaning to me, but they don't mean I still love my ex endlessly the way I do my current boyfriend.

I wouldn't return the gifts if i were asked to because we all had our past memories and experiences from the previous relationship and it had meant something then. To return the gifts is almost crude or cruel. It would feel like the relationship had meant nothing or not meant much to the person returning the gift and i think it's selfish to tell your partner to return them when he/she does not want to. It does not mean your partner still has feelings for the ex. but rather a reasonable sentimental attachment to the gifts. I would say let it be and not make a big deal of the gifts.

Well I am not sure it would depend on what the gift is. I mean if it is something that is really special to them why should I ask them to get rid of it. But if it is something that I feel is not really needed than I might ask them to get rid of the item. I guess it depends on a lot of things. If I am in a new relationship than I guess I would wonder why they would want to keep the item? Happy mylotting to you and have a great day!

I do believe in freedom. There is nothing wrong with exchanging ideas. I don't think that if they refuse it might means that they still have feelings for their preivous partner. When you love someone even if you fall apart you might still have some feelings even if you decide not to act on your feelings

[i]Hi ronnyb, In my case, I didn't bring any things that was given to me by my ex. I left it with my sister. When I also moved to my hubby's house, I also didn't care much about his stuff but I know most of it was taken back by his ex too! It's not an issue. But, maybe if I see him treasuring one of those things, it might hurt me in a way! [/i]

No doubt I do not like my partner to cling sentimentally to the gifts from the ex, I would not ask that he return the gift(s) to the ex. Similarly, I would not want to be told to return the gift to my ex. If it is the past, it is the past. The gift might be a gentle reminder of the reason for the break off and perhaps one will learn to treasure the current relationship more. Who knows by returning the gift, it might end up hurting your current partner and cause him/her to discount your bit of graciousness and end up he/she thinking of the ex more often.

I would never ask my current partner to give up things from a previous partner. After all, no matter what happened, they were part of their life, and made your partner the person who they currently are - the person that you obviously want to be with. If you're worried about your partner's ties to their previous partner, it would seem to me that you don't have much faith in your partner, or in your relationship.

Personally i see no harm with keeping gifts. Even if they are from a ex relationship. I would not want anyone telling my to get rid of my things. Its insecurities that cause that. Maybe if you are asking another to do this you do not feel secure?

I would question this request, why are you concerned with a past relationship? You will never replace that in your partners mind, it's either over or it's not. If it's not then you need to reconsider your situation. Are you unsure of your own place in this person's heart? Maybe you need to ask more questions and if you don't think you are getting truthful answers reevaluate.

I wear a ring on my right hand that was given to me by my ex husband when I was 15. My current partner questioned me about it and I told him I really like the ring and I have had it forever and it does not have a great deal to do with my ex. He accepts and tells me he is fine with it. I think that it depends on the gift and your attitude towards the gift; whether you see the object just for what it is, like I do with my ring, or whether you hold special sentimental value to it. Every situation is probably different. Exes are a part of a person's history and one shouldn't have to deny the fact that they existed, having said that reminding your current partner about them is unnecessary and insensitive and one should question the need to do so.

Well when I think about it, I don't think I would like it if my partner were still attached to gifts given to him by an ex. And I'd be quite upset if I asked him to get rid of them and he refused. However, on the other hand, I am not sure I would ask in the first place, because I would feel as though I am violating his past and his privacy - after all, his ex happened before I came along, therefore do I really have any right to tell him what to do with something that was given to him perhaps even before he knew me? I have never been asked to throw anything away of this sort, or to return anything for that matter. If I was asked, my main concern would be why I was even being asked in the first place. Am I doing something to threaten the security of my relationship for example that my partner feels the need to ask me to discard things from an ex-partner? A complicated issue - but a great question!

i would not ask him to return it but i would sure ask him,to keep the gifts away from my sight ,as it makes me uncomfortable.asking him unreasonable things,may actually push him towards his ex.

I won't mind that.Past is past.Those gifts are but memories.Even if he stil keeps the gifts,the past can never repat itself.Good me and my partner have no problems about tht since we are each other's first.

I guess this is best answered by each individual. My wife and I have a relationship in which we respect each other's past. We have both been in relationships before and we both acknowledge that we once did in fact love our previous partners and when those previous relationships were good, we are bound to have fond memories of it and it is those memories that make us who we are today. My wife has objects that her first partner gave her and it's OK with me. I have never asked he to get rid of them as whatever she feels, she feels. The truth is though is that she chose to be with me and she has been with me for more than 20 years. I have a one or two things that my first wife gave me, and I have never been asked to throw them away either. I don't have any sentimental attachments to them, but they are useful. Having said all this, if my wife said that she felt uncomfortable about me having anything from my first relationship, than I would get rid of it. Being a Zen practitioner, I am not really attached to anything material. I know that neither of us will never make such demands on each other because we never have. The past is gone and does not live with us here in the present. :-)Derek

I have kept some sentimental gifts over the years. If my partner asked me to get rid of them, I'd tell him no! After all, the people you've known in your past are PART of your past and you can't throw that away. It's part of you and who you are. Everyone we meet in our lives help to form us into what we are today. So, in that respect, they are all important in one way or another. Sometimes, those gifts received simply remind us of some good times we've had in the past and have no meaning regarding our current emotional attachment to the person who gave them to us. Sometimes, we just like those gifts and don't want to get rid of them just because someone from our past gave them to us. I have a bracelet than my ex-husband gave to me before we were married. I love that bracelet, although I can't stand my ex! So, if my husband asked me to give back something, I'd have to consider how much I like it, then decide. My husband has things given to him by his ex-wife and I don't mind a bit. He LIKES those things. I know how he feels about his ex and I'm not the least bit worried about any emotional attachment he has for them regarding HER. That person is with YOU now, not whomever gave them the gifts. THAT means something, you know.

I wouldn't. A gift is a gift. The only reason to ask for something back is if you were engaged and gave a family heirloom to your betrothed with the intention of passing it down to your future children. I left my country about 6 months after a breakup with my boyfriend. He is a great guy. I still care about him as a human being even if the relationship didn't lead to marriage. I actually called him and gave him my microwave after the breakup. I couldn't use it anymore because they were 110v and I was moving to a 220v country.

There's no need to ask.. if he really likes to forget his past then he would make the iniative to dispose the gifts that was given to him by his ex girlfriend.. if i see that my partner still values those gifts then i'd ask him why? why there's a need to keep those gifts? for what? past is past. if you want to leave the past behind, then do it..