How you feel when he/she doesn't call?
By akangirl
@akangirl (2436)
India
January 27, 2009 2:01pm CST
I have a boyfriend but he lives in another state which is far from here. He have a very busy work schedule which he blames for not calling me for days. I feel quite lonely and sometime very confused.Many thoughts come into my mind maybe this long distance is going to tear our relationship. He sometime calls after a week and sometime even thrice a month only. I have a strong feeling that a barrier has been created and now its going tear me apart. I won't be able to take the blow this time. How you feel or would feel if you boyfriend doesn't call for many days??
3 people like this
33 responses
@gotetet (197)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
i can relate to that. hahaha... i felt so so lonely and jealous if he doesn't call. i have lots of dirty things in mind and sometimes send a note saying, cool off or break up, i have that mixed feelings of anger and dismay, why and how come he doesn't call.
2 people like this
@jennawinseverytime (377)
• United States
27 Jan 09
Something is going on, and it doesn't involve you, you have every right to be curious and angry for he took the time in the beginning to grow a relationship with you. Don't waste your time wondering about who or where he is it will only hurt right now. I am not saying he is seeing someone else but I think you should move on it hurts now and you will feel like you can not live without him and you will be scared to let him go because you will break the tie, but know this in the future you will be thankful that you don't have to deal with the drama. Instead you can refresh your life and focus on what YOU NEED what YOU WANT what MAKES YOU HAPPY, you will find things making you happy without relying on someone else to call. The day will come when you will forgive and forget this guy. He will do you a favor if he never calls again because he is no good for you. Not all guys are bad its just the chase us woman go after therefore we are attracted to the guys that make us chase. I dated a man that was 31 and wore dentures, and I am a hot young 23 year old and pretty but the fact that I was sticking around made him want to get away and then I needed him and then he disapeared some unhealthy relationships are just that way no matter how much well rounded you seem to be than the other. The fact is neither of you are ready for a relationship, find yourself to the highest degree find harmony in being with yourself and someday when you can fit a man in do it.
1 person likes this
@rj0921 (115)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
the case of breaking up depends on how the couple deal with each other. but if you just base your break up on him not calling, I think it would not be fair. It is still best to talk over the matter. There could be some reasons, but you should also be watchful.
1 person likes this
@jennawinseverytime (377)
• United States
28 Jan 09
Why kid yourself, if he doesn't call this is his behavior forever. You should read the book "he is just not that into you" lady who commented my responce, seriously or watch the movie, don't doubt yourself ever just to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Why waste your time and wait for him to call to have a "talk" be true to yourself and call it off. Time to think about you, you are done thinking about him.
1 person likes this
@marketing07 (6266)
• South Korea
28 Jan 09
before ,when im not still marrying my husband and he was in korea and i was in hongkong..he cannot sleep a day without calling me...even just to say hi..few words is more than enough than nothing..hope your boyfriend would realize that..cheers
@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
If I were in your place, i'd feel bothered too.. maybe something's going on but don't jump into conclusions yet.. you need to talk to your boyfriend about how you really feel.. let him know that you feel lonesome and confused.. it's best if you have a heart-to-heart talk to your boyfriend..
1 person likes this
@ktosea (2026)
• China
28 Jan 09
you should trust him first,it's really a hard time for you and also for your boyfriend if you are in his shoes,you could hang out with your other girl friends if you feel lonely,what you are doing now will make sure you two will be happy in the future,love need sacrifice of both sides sometimes.Hope you could feel better
1 person likes this
@romeo2103 (41)
• India
28 Jan 09
its unbearable situation and i am also facing it still. but even so many tears may teared me my hope doesnt go out.
1 person likes this
@Pandamail24 (1)
• United States
28 Jan 09
being in long distance relationship is a really hard deal. When i left for college i had o leave the guy i was dating at the time behind about 4 states away. Feelings change and the distance emotionally can grow bigger and bigger. It might just be time to let him go. I know this is the last thing any girl wants to here about her relationship, especially if you've been in it for a while and you care about the guy. But think of it this way, relationships are supposed to be something you grow and learn from. It's a place where you share who you are with someone else on common ground. the second a relationship turns unhealthy and your not becoming a better person, you should LET IT GO. Is all that worrying and wondering and felling hurt that he didn't call helping you? For every guy you let go there are at least 3 others that would jump at the chance to date you. If this plan dosn't look good to you, here's another idea. Before you start jumping on his back about where he's been, with who, why he didn't call for such a long time, ect. ect....use some of that energy to keep yourself busy. Find things that you love to do and bury your head and heart into them. This way you're not think about him as much and it might help to ease the pain. My boyfriend lives in another city about 45 minutes away and i can only see him about every other weekend. it's no where near as hard as your situation but we both have friends around us, work, school, and other things we love and we can do to keep ourselves busy until we see each other again. it also keeps things fresh and new cause we dont see each other EVERY SINGLE FLIPPIN' DAY! lol. I dont know your personal life inside and out but another mistake is hanging out with friends all the time who are in relationships because then all you here about is how much fun they had last night with their guy and how much they see him and love him blah blah blah. All thats gonna do is make you feel like crap cause you cant see your guy as much as you would like too. You don't deserve to feel this way. Try making new friends who are single because then you can go out with the girls and not worry about them bringing a guy along or talking about there guy. I hope this helps! good luck and remember you shouldn't have to feel or be treated like crap just for trying to keep a healthy relationship alive. some people can make long distance relationships work so keep that pinch of hope alive. - pandamail24
@coolmailpankaj (338)
• India
28 Jan 09
That is the most difficult part of a long distance relation and talking on phone is the only way you can keep in touch. I suggest you to call him if he doesn't.
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
28 Jan 09
Hello akangirl! I would go crazy if my husband won't call me for how many weeks. I will even got angry with him if he can't call me or can't talk to me for just one day. Well, I know how you feel and if you will ask me, I don't think your boyfriend doesn't have enough time. He can't call even for 2 minutes?
@rj0921 (115)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
I hate the feeling..
I also have a long distance relationship at present and i hate the feeling when he does not call or text message me. But the relationship continues for 3 years now. He's still studying and I want him to finish so I must be patient for a while..
There were times when it enters my mind she's with someone but I try not to think bout it really..it would just make me mad..I know i have to trust him and it remains..
@nympha687 (940)
• United States
28 Jan 09
I guess if i were used to it, I won't be bothered. My boyfriend is really stingy and thinks mobile phone charges are expensive, so he prefers to send me text messages. What's important is he remembers you no matter how busy his day has been. what's a ten word message just to ease your worries.
1 person likes this
@amjadmacs (467)
• France
28 Jan 09
Hey girl, don't be upset. I know how you feel. Long distance relationship do have these kinds of problem. How I know? Well, I have a girlfriend, who live far far ways from me. I met her twice in my life. She's very busy in her studies and I can't go and meet her even once a year. I love her and she loves me also. I talk a lot, but these days, we don't talk much, because her brother doesn't like me. So, her brother told her to leave me. But she loves and so do I.
I promised to wait for her. Now, she only mails me once a week. NOw she has internet problem, so we haven't talked to each other lately. I love her, to it doesn't matter even we don't talk to each other. Though I really really miss her. I told her that I can wait 10 years even for you...
@gohanpastor (103)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
when he doesn't call or text or me.. or reply to my text messages... i feel worried.. I'm thinking that something happened to him while driving. I don't know what to do.. I can't sleep even if i feel very sleepy. If he's with his clients or employees and friends, I feel jealous because I feel that he's ignoring me.. and of course I feel angry.. and when he gets home.. I will ask him why he's not calling me or even replying to my messages.
1 person likes this
@khimee (2)
• Philippines
28 Jan 09
I also have a boyfriend and our relationship is a long distance communication thats why I understnd him and i don't have a doubt in my boyfriend,I trust HIM and the most important in relationship have a trust to each other.If I have a situation like this I feel sad but I know to myself that I really loves him.
1 person likes this
@blazonvj (428)
• India
28 Jan 09
i think you should trust him, cos he really must be having a lot of work..or else what you can do is just pay a small visit to him and see how he acts..if he is really happy that your there, then he still loves you.(if you cant pay a visit, just try telling him your planning to pay one, then you can see his reactions)
Also why are you not initiating the call?? why should he always call?
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
28 Jan 09
Have you talked to him about this?
There have been times when my boyfriend didn't call me for a few days, recently it has been four days and it hurt really because we are also in a long distance relationship. There have been times when I wonder if he has changed his mind and is politely trying to avoid me or something terrible happened to him. I have talked to him about it and he has said he doesn't mean for it to happen, but sometimes there are circumstances that come in the way. I say you need to talk to your boyfriend about it and tell him how it makes you feel.
@magnel (2263)
• India
28 Jan 09
The feeling is not very good, when you always want to be connected with your boyfriend or girlfriend. You want to speak something, share some feeling and he/she is not available. But there is always a way how things can be managed or time can be scheduled to handle and maintain good relations.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
28 Jan 09
I feel really lonely if my boyfriend doesn't call or text me for a couple of days.
He always says 'well you could call me you know' but I rarely have money on my phone to be able to call him, so I really can't!
My boyfriend always seems to find an excuse which means he isn't able to come out as well, and it is actually driving me pretty mad at the moment!
I guess I should talk to him about it but we can't normally have that kind of discussion without one of us yelling at the other.
@anjalisharma_iipm (805)
• India
29 Jan 09
yes i am agree that the main problem is distance you have with your boyfriend as you will start living in same stat things will be fine like it was earlier.
enjoy here with all your mylot friends
bye take care
