Living in Depression

Depression, at times makes me struggle with expression and feel insecure, and when I do I withdrawl, a little bit, and I am very quite, and my friends all thing I am ignoring them or mad at them, and demand me to be the usually helping person I am, and they they tend to get burned out as the stuff I deal with is hard for them to understand and I am higher energetic channel then most. So not only does depression making communication hard, make it harder to cheer me up, but at times turns me into a person who is very draining, and by the time my friends are done trying to help me they have major headaches and are very sick... and are depressed themselves, and then I help them up and then I again need help and its just very very exhausting it is also nerve wracking as many of my friends want to help but you add the family issues and it makes it nearly impossible for many to help me at all..... And went I hit that spiral down slope into panick, it is hard to keep me focused and to calm me down, in normal ways. I am usually a very strong and reassured person so when depression strikes me. Most people do not take it seriously and think it is some kind of joke, or sick humor.... And this is where it can get dangerous.... Depression suffocates my communication abilities, and makesit harder to feel loved... It is difficult for me to go beyond friends, because I fear that my Depression or other things I deal with will be to much of a burden and burn them out... - DNatureofDTrain

Well, I have had a difficult last few years..It began when my father passed away..i was pregnant with my 2nd son, and was working full-time..I began to have a lot of pain to my right temporal region, and i beleived i had TMJ -for other reasons as well...my dentist agreed and sent me to another who specialized in treating it..He did what he could to ease my pain to the jaw and side of my head..When my 2nd son was 2 mon old, i finally discovered what i had was a very large and rare brain tumor...Things just went down and down..They didnt beleive i would even survive the 2nd surgery, but i did, and had 4 surgeries total, 2 mon of radiation, my husband left and i was unable to work until i healed...which i still am awaiting..People are surpirised when i tell them, because the tumor left no visible damage at all, amazingly..But the emotional rollar-coaster i have rode for almost 3 yrs now has left damage not visible to the naked eye.. My answer would be to take each day as it comes, and to not lose faith, hope.. Focus on the blessings you have and seek professional help if there is no resolve.. ~Life is too short to be buried in that cold, dark hole...Depression affects not only you, but everyone & everything around you as well.