Helping someone ruined my relationship
By janelacson
@janelacson (200)
Philippines
January 28, 2009 10:05am CST
The worst thing I've ever done in my life is to let someone borrow my boyfriend's money without my boyfriend's permission. Later on, my boyfriend caught me lying and found out that I used his money to help someone. The people I help made a promise to me that he will pay me the following day. And because I trust him, I allowed him to borrow the money without any interest. Two weeks have passed and the man who borrowed money promised me that he will give me interest if I will just be patient and wait for him to pay me back. Its been a month already and the man promised that he will pay me additional interest and because I am not anymore interested with the interest I decided to go to the police. The man who borrowed money was too scared that he decided to go to the law office, where I found out from the lawyer that the man is in great debt also from somebody and promised me again that he will pay me until tomorrow. Me and my boyfriend is planning to get married, we cant plan until the man has made his payments. We started fighting because I helped someone and that is the most stupid thing I've ever done. Things are not getting sweeter lately. I just hope that the man will pay me tomorrow. Or I'll make a move to make sure that he will be put to jail as soon as possible. Did you help someone also and regret it later on for helping him?
3 responses
@snowy22315 (180805)
• United States
28 Jan 09
Letting someone borrow someone else's money without their permission really was pretty cheesy but I think you know that already. I would try to get the money back somehow even if I had to report it to the police. You may end up having to take him to small claims court to get the money back though.
1 person likes this
@janelacson (200)
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
My boyfriend found out that I used his money and he knows why I lied. I am doing my best to get the money back and I have reported it to the police. They thought me what is the best thing to do, if he failed to pay me today. Oh, I'll make sure that this person will be put to jail soon.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
28 Jan 09
The thing is when you give money and the person doesn't have the money to pay for whatever they need to pay for then chances are they're not going to have that money down the road. Do you know this person very well? Do they have a habit of asking people for money. Any time you give money especially when it's not your's (that's theft by the way and wouldn't fly in court) to give then you should write up a contract stating that he would give you 1. interest and 2. the full borrowed amount back. Without that documentation you are pretty much screwed and the judgment could go any way in court. You can't get him put in jail because truth is you stole the money.
THis would be you "Officer I stole money from my boyfriend gave it to my friend and they aren't paying me back."
How would you as the officer see this? You just admitted to theft. Just how much money are we talking about here. There is no way you should have ever thought of giving anyone a large lump sum of money without a contract! If your wedding depends on this money then I think you should have thought about how dispensable this money was to you. I can't help you out other than say yes go to court but don't expect to gain interest back unless he openly admits in court that this deal was made the money was indeed borrowed and interest will be paid on top of that.
Also if this amount of money is really what's stopping you from planning your wedding how did you give it to him? Via cheque, via cash? And if so how did your fiance not notice this money being gone if it was so much?
@janelacson (200)
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
My bf knows the reason why I borrowed his money, its not called stealing. I can afford to pay him half of it and half in due time but he is not asking me to pay anything. He said that next time, I would rather not help anybody if it has something to do with money. This will serve as a big lesson from me. I trust the person and I cant believe that he is 101% liar, I just found out this morning that he hasnt paid his apartment for two months already. In short, I am not the only victim here, the owner of the apartment is also a victim. The good thing is he admitted to the owner of the apartment that he owes me money. We will interrogate him on Saturday because of all the lies he has made. I hope you guys learned from my experience. Its not always good to help someone.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
29 Jan 09
Sorry to tell you but if you borrow money that means you borrow it with the persons permission. I don't see anywhere where you've said that you borrowed the money. You took the money which is stealing. Sorry to be blunt but that is exactly what you did. Borrowing is a nice way to think of it but in essence you stole the money.
@AmandaBarnhart (671)
• Canada
29 Jan 09
Sorry but your not the victim your boyfriend is. Serves your right honestly for taking that money without his permission. You even said yourself you took the money lent it to someone else without his permission. That is stealing hun, regardless of if he accepted that apology you gave him or not you stole from him. Again Borrowing would have been asking him for the money and if he's as understanding as you say he is why didn't you do that in the first place? Please stop trying to make yourself out to be the viticm here because you put yourself in this situatino. Helping out a friend is allowing them to some times hit rock bottom. I have a friend who needs money all the time. I help her out by getting her food. I NEVER give her money because by giving her money it doesn't teach her a lesson nor does it teach her how to handle her own money. It just gets her out of a jam till the next one comes along. There's no learning in that. Bet you learned your lesson though. Again If you can't get married because of this sum of money then you should have thought about that before you lent the money and should have probably made a contract specifying when you'd have the money back. Since you didn't do any of these that money is pretty much looonnnggg gone. The courts can only make him pay money he actually has. If he doesn't have any money they can't order him to pay only by taking bits out of his cheque. Even then you'd needs some pretty convincing evidence that you gave him the money. Do you have any documentation of any sort? IF not again I think your screwed and you should look to start saving extra to pay back your boyfriend.
@snowflake5 (1579)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Hopefully, from now on you will discuss all money matters with your boyfriend first, especially if you are going to be married.
It's always a mistake to let friends borrow from you (or to borrow from them).
If the person who borrowed money from you is in great debt, you might not see your money back again.
