Church Division...Conversations That Can Divide a Church

You sound like you have a very firm belief. I guess, I'm getting that way too. I have come to care less about looking like a jerk than having the church wounded from within. And you are right about being very careful about the words we use about others.

That's understandable. It is not easy or very effective to change anyone's point of view. But when it comes to Bible doctrine, it is important to be certian that it is being taught in truth. The problem lies in that each church believes it has the corner on truth. To disagree with the practice of a church, by stressing the practices of another church as the only way, would certainly be confrontational, and divisive. But I guess, what I am asking in this question is this: If a person tells you he or she dislikes the pastor because the sermons are too long, or too bland, or the pastor doesn't like that person because... If someone has a difference with someone or has been offended by someone, there ought to be a person to person discussion, and not an indirect discussion with others, don't you agree.

Yes, it's what the parents used to say: If you can't say something good about someone, then don't say anything at all. And you know, it's really difficult to say anything ill of someone when you're facing that person, unless what you have to say is truth as you see it.

Absolute true. It is really damaging fellowship when people speak of ill of others in their absence.

You said it, ErrollLeVant. So many church folks are unaware of the stife and division caused by words unfittly spoken, especially critical or condeming words about a pastor or church leader. Sometimes, as others have stated, there is need for inspection, but most often, a critical word spoken is due to some felt offense or some disagreement with the way a church program is run. I'd sooner see an unhappy individual find a different flock to join with a different shepherd, than to have that person remain in the church starting a fire with his or her words, or causing others to become dissatisfied.

It's good that you recognize the potential for harm in certain conversations. I used to just ignore the conversation or walk away too, until I discovered a certain boldness together with gentle tact. I discovered that when I spoke about the topic, it did something to help change the situation and keep it from potentially happening again, through the mouth of that same person. How do I know that it works? That person was once me.

if you feel at that moment your words will help change a situation then by all means say something. however most people are afraid of change so your words of wisdom will fall on deaf ears. Thank goodness we have the power of choice. so we can choose to say something or walk away

Right you are. There are certainly places for speaking up and places that your words will get trampled on. It's discernment that we need in order to make the right decision. One thing about allowing others to speak ill of the pastor, and not walking from it or dealing with it, is to allow it to dig in and possiblit take root. Once I just listened. Once I had to account for it with the pastor. It wasn't fun. I'm careful now not to give opportunity to others to air their views, without appealing to them to see the pastor if the have a difference of opinion with him.

And it's a good thing that He doesn't. I'd sure dislike walking in the shoes of some folks. And my church is a good fit for me. If I didn't find it a fit, I'd check for clashing of the wills to see if I maybe I needed an attitude adjustement. And if I still didn't feel it a fit, I'd look elsewhere rather than to critize the church. My family has moved often and we have church hopped with every move. Finding a church that "fits" is always one of the first things we do after a move. And it's not usually the first church we try that wins out.

Yes, you are right. There are ways to discuss church needs without being overly or unfairly critical of people who are only human. One of the things I believe folks need to remember is that not every church is a fit. When it's not, they maybe need to move on and find a church that does fit.

I agree with that! We all have a different path to walk. God doesn't call us all to do the exact same thing.

We are led of the Lord and He does live within us. We are one body and that means we need to treat each other with care. I'm not sure where in the Word it says for us to speak our minds, but we are to defend those who need defense. And you are right; we are always visible to Him.

What I mean about being able to speak their minds is that we should have freedom, especially within our church. But I also believe that Christians will know better how to handle themselves and be naturally respectful of their family. There is more expected of us than others in the world; though we are human. We are fallible and will make mistakes. Being more Christlike will make us more forgiving and understanding towards those around us.

Well said. Thanks for sharing.

And that's the great thing about prayer and communion with God; it's personal. That communion or fellowship with God is a vital part of a healthy Christian's life, and we would all be well to have a vital and living prayer life. Thanks for sharing your feelings.