how to deal with our in-laws?

If you're staying with them, then you have to live by their rules and follow their lead. It is their house in the first place so you must abide by their edicts. If you don't stay with them, then you can impose your preferences inside your own house. Don't however antagonize them as they are still your parents by affinity. You should accord them respect just as your parents as given respect by your spouse. respect begest respect and love begest love. Cheers and happy mylotting.

i'm not yet married..but on my view..even if you think that your in-laws are monsters..you still need to show them respect..show them what you learned from your "good manners and right conduct" subject..i believe that a stone heart will eventually melt once they see your eagerness & concern..nobody can ignore a true and everlasting love..they will certainly feel it..

I have had friends with true horror stories in regards to in-laws. I personally consider myself very fortunate. There are issues I do not agree with when it comes to my in-laws, and issues that I get along great with them on. Some topics I just don't even really bring up with them because I know that our views would be to different. LOL I am told that there is a right way a wrong way and then Bob's way. Bob being my father in law, he feels that he is right all the time lol there is at times no getting around that. Some things I kind of just ignore and let his words go over slide like water on ducks back. Other things I say my piece then go quiet I don't argue the issue, I figure I had said my piece then I end it there. There are some things that would drive me nuts about my in-laws, except well for one thing they are good to me, and for another they do not interfere in our lives. I have to respect it when someone can find a balance like that. And while there are topics I just don't bring up around my in-laws I know there is enough to talk about that we can enjoy our visits. It seems you have found your balance when it comes to the in-laws. In not letting them interfere, but knowing when to just leave it alone and not say anything. This is true though in all relationships not just in-laws.

Hi, Marraige is also little bit of adjustment, little sacrifice..is not it,dear?For Ur father-in-law(sensitive issue, nodoubt!) apply "YES...BUT" technique.Iagree what U say, but...(Ur viewpoint).In this way U will not hurting EGO(B'cz age..), but U can put forward Ur viewpoint(politely).Try this out... =Lahiri,Kolkata,India.

Luckily, my mother in law is completely out of the picture. She told me and my husband that she F in hated me and I was a complete biatch! That kinda did it in for her. When we had our two sons, we tried letting her back in, at least for their sake, and she doesn't even care they're her grandkids because their mine. Oh well. My father in law tends to just give advice and not think he knows everything. I got lucky! I know my poor husband feels that my parents try and control everything that goes on in our household, and they're 1000 away! I know they do and would love for them to stop!

I beleive that in-laws can overstep their bounderies often but if we love our spouces we have to deal with it and hope they will have a "talk" with them. You should always respect them because they are part of the family. Ask for their opinions but tell them to respect yours as well. Never live too close to any of them. That is when they really start to over-step their bounderies. My mother and step-father lived right next to both her father and his parents. They are not married anymore and a big part of it is because of the in-laws. Anyway just listen but don't be afraid to put in your two cents as well or you will become depressed and it could affect the marriage.

Both my in laws are not in the state which I am staying. They are both living in another state and will come back once in while. When they do they also don't stay over at our place. But we(my husband and I) do go and have meals and chat with them). I am okay with them. Mostly during meals on the table they would be talking with my husband and his sisters. I would listen and say a word or two but not much. I guess mums will always be mums and dads will always be dads. But one thing I thank God is my husband and I have a place of our own so we can run our lives and have house rules the way we want it to be. I guess if I was staying with my in laws then things would be different. But its good for married couples to stay by themselves so that they can start a proper family and the umbilical cord can be cut off. You know what I mean.

My in-laws use to drive me nuts everytime I saw them. Recently though, it's been pleasent. I don't fight with my mother-in-law, and my father-in-law stops by every now and then just because. All it took was to divorce their son! Since we separated I have really gotten along with his parents. It is so nice. So moral of the story: Either accept the way things are with your in-laws or get divorced to make things better. Okay, just joking, but hey it worked for me.

To have a happy marriage, you need to get prepared to live up with his or her family, their culture, their habits, you may not accept all of it though. Even for your spouse, you need to live up with his shortcomings as well as advantages. How can you except a new comer take away their beloved completely. It is wise and merit to respect the elder generation, so that they are left contented and relieved to have their child under care of another person. Of course, they need to learn the difference of a joint family and a single family, demonstrating rational goodwill and acknowledgement to the new member, treating him or her as their own child. They should not interfere in the young couple's affairs, though may offer suggestions when requested, and stand by to give a hand when needed. Enjoy your life and be a decent in law.

Hi there, I have been married almost 20 years, and I have never once had any problems with my in-laws. Both of my in laws welcomed me into their family with open arms and treated me as part of the family. But sadly enough, I lost my mother in law a couple of years after I married my spouse. My father in law has helped us out quite a lot throughout our marriage and vice versa. We respect each other, and I value his opinions as you can learn a lot from your elders. The secret to having a good relationship with your in laws is understanding and respect. Without that then that's when the problems arise. ~proudnana~

in laws are different in their own level, mindset, behaviour, among others. I agree with you when you said that you should have to learn more from your in laws to be able to cope up with their beliefs and views. But regardless you are not in tune with their views and opinions, we have to respect their opinions because when we got married to their son/daughter, we are definitely linked to them, vice versa, our partner would also like the same way, we should treat our in laws the way we wanted our parents to be treated. We would have to understand that later on we would be also dealing with what they have experiencing right now because, in time we would be in their position too. At least you show respect to them as you respect your husband or wife. AT least you know when to bend being a flexible person dealing with that kind of scenario. Probably they have gained that kind of behaviour from the way their parents brought them up. If our in-laws are not that open minded, we should respect that being an open minded. It's great you know how to deal with it.