Why do those who claim to be "good listeners" never actually listen to you?

Dear friend in need, Please, first understand that most people, except those that are exceptional, are already always listening... What does this mean?? It means that most people think they already know what you're going to tell them. And they get their erroneous information from their own past experiences. Sometimes even though we want to be good listeners we get stuck in our own heads.. I don't mean to pry in your business, I'm sure that what you may be going through is serious and important to you. If I may give some advise on the matter, maybe you just need to try listening to yourself. What are you saying to people, what are you putting out there.? Is it a conversation that you may already have had? No one will ever listen the way you listen to yourself. Is this issue something that you just haven't been able to resolve on your own? Are you turning to the right person to listen to? (this always depends on the issue) Maybe you need to talk to someone that can give you some actual insight.. The best to you.

Yea - I feel you there. Makes you feel like you wasted your breath - and on the other hand - Some people that will be "Good Listeners" are only doing so because they want to be all up in your business - You can not win for loosing sometimes

there is a common sense that a person's power is limited,so if you can well utilise your friends' help,you could be a clever guy or a problem solver.however,if you can't convince your friends,you can manage to make them not be against for you but just keep their opinions in their heart.i don't think this way is bad for solving your dispute,do you think so?