At what point do you say enough is enough?

I thought I believed the same thing. I do love my husband and I do't want to leave him, but I am at my end. I thin I may talk to him about marriage consuling.

I have tried the sucked it up and smile for about 6 months now and it is just makeing things worse. I don't expect a lot from my husband. All I want from my husband is for him to love me and treat me with respect.

did you just pull all of that out of your rear end? that is such a load of crap, i'm finding it hard to figure out where to start. no better place than the beginning. "you entered a contract that probably clearly stated for better or worse" Are you married? i haven't met too many people in my life that look at marriage like a contract; with the exception of arranged marriages, which i doubt this one was. Second, "unless there is abuse or infidelity happening, your children will generally be much better off in a two-parent household" I beg to differ. what are you teaching your children, especially your daughters, if you stay in a loveless marriage simply for their sake? you're teaching them to forget about happiness and love. you're teaching them to simply accept a situation, instead of trying to change it for the better, even if the end result is divorce. from experience, i know that this is not better for your children. and you don't have to be married to instill a sense of unconditional love and security in your children.

Actually, I've been married for nearly my entire adult life, and to the same man, for what that's worth. If the word contract is so offensive, how about we use the word "promise"? If you promise to spend your life honoring and respecting someone regardless of the way life turns out, shouldn't you at least be expected to keep your word? Studies have shown that children do fare better in 2 parent households, especially when compared to households run by single mothers. They generally grow up with more resources, more role models, and better values. Your particular instance may well be different, but that doesn't make the general truth any less valid. Your willingness to attack someone who doesn't agree with you is a very clear indicator of your level of happiness, your social skills, and your value system. We do still live in a polite society if I am not mistaken. Is this the type of lesson you are teaching your children? Maybe we just have radically different beliefs on what it means to be a wife and mother. If you are happy with your choices, I won't disagree with your opinions, but I believe that mine are equally valid since they work very well for me.

are you saying no such point in fight for the marriage?

Thank you for your reply. It does make me fell a little better to know that I am not the only wife going though this. I will try your advise and talk to a male freind and see what he can tell me. He is also close with my husband so maybe my husband has disclosed something to him that will help me understand what is going on in my husband mind.

Hey just wanted to give you a update. My husband and I had a long talk last night about 3 hours on this subject and he really let me into is thinking. I after he explained himself I started felling really bad about being so made at him. He really did have his heart in the right place. He was tring to work a lot of over time so that he could save and get me a really nice x-mas gift. We are a one income family so we are on a limit for spending and he was tring to do something very nice for me.

That's great! I'm so glad you guys talked about it. And you should never be sorry for your feelings. We all interpret things differently in life. We are a one income family as well, so I know how tough things can be. And when you're home all day, you tend to look further into things and analyze things a whole lot more than other people. If you remember to keep the lines of communication open with your hubby, you guys will be able to work through things so much easier. Good luck, hope you have a great holiday season. And remember, if you need someone to chat with, I'm only a keystroke away. :)