different kinds of depression

Ive been depressed for many years but just recently started to get help for it. Im on medication and am suppost to be in counsling but I dont have the motivation or will power to get up and go get that help. I called a place that does counsling for free like 3 weeks ago and was suppost to go in a few days later after they faxed my paper work to the rigt place and I still havent bothered doing it. I know I need to go but my depression is so bad I just dont feel like getting up to go do it. My depresson is really bad, I dont even know what the feeling of happiness feels like cause Ive never truey felt it cause my depression takes over every other emoition. And that makes me feel guilty and more depressed cause Im engaged to a great man but I feel like our relationship isnt where it really should be cause I cant be happy about anything. Everyone always says Im just being stuck up or mean but no one understands how it feels inside. I dont act like this to get attention, I act like this cause Im hurting inside. I always feel worthless and like Im not good enough for anything or anyone and I dont feel like I have a purpose in this world. I really hate this feeling but I dont think it will ever go away, and its just sad cause this is not how I want to spend my life, especially since Im still young and am suppost to be out having fun and I just fee like my depression has taken over my life.

Depression for me comes on for no reason. I can be sitting there with my family and all of a sudden I start to cry. My husband says Im like day and night. On some days I can get myself back on track pretty fast then on others I just cant shake it. He has learned to just hold me and let it take its course. I think that everyone has a little bit of this in them it just depends on how much to whether it affects you.

depression definatly hits me like that. i go through times when i can be completely happy and then crying the next. i don't even know why i do it, i just do. they have me on meds to help me but they don't seem to do their job very good. i guess the only thing to say to it would be, it all gets better in time. you just can't let yourself fall too hard too fast. it's easier said than done tho, that's for sure.