my father is having an affair with number 2 (says mom..)

thats really hurting and i understand how you feel as a daughter. why not try to talked with your father. you know what, i cant say that your father having and affair with other woman nor i say he didnt have an affair. i know how it feels as a wife and as a daughter itself because im into that situation also. when everythings get complicated, talked with your father and mother heart by heart or just pray and asked God's guidance and strength whatever happens with your family. i wish and hope that everything will be fine and solved.

I think children can help in this situation. Because all fathers and mothers like their children. They are feeling children are their assets. Just talk with your father and ask him about the relation what he is having or doubting. Tell him to give the proof of whose the ring is. I am sure children surely will help to solve this. In this situation, your mother and father has to talk. Don't ask about that again and again. Make him understanding about this is his family. He can't live without his family as well as his wife and children can't live without him.

For what it's worth, I think your mother's instinct is right here. At your father's age, men are quite easily distracted from a "routine" life, to one of more excitement, often by younger women. I also think that possibly this has been going on for longer than you know, and for more reason than you know. Your father is feeling awkward because he's been "found out", so he's threatening your mother with divorce. It's up to them both to sit down quietly without any children around, and discuss this in an adult manner, thus deciding what they want to do next with their lives. You mustn't interfere in this because you'll regret if they do split and often wonder whether it was you who finally put them apart. What I would advise is that if you're emotionally upset, then you walk away from the centre of the situation, maybe go to your room or for a walk, and cry there. Even call a friend and go talk with them about your difficulties, or if the other seven children are old enough, discuss with them your feelings and listen to theirs. Never interfere with your mother and father's issues. That's their problem to sort out between themselves. Of course you won't hate your father... you've spent many loving years with him, and the bond you have with him shouldn't be broken because of his issues with your mother, or vice versa. Naturally, you hate to see your mother upset, so comfort her when you can... let her know you're there for her whatever happens, but that you will still love your father, as you're not the one he's hurt, or broken the bond with. This is all difficult for you, I know. I'm emotional and very sensitive at the same time, so I know where you're coming from. However, I think you're best to just think back to the good times and leave this volatile situation between your parents, alone. They will appreciate you all the more for it, believe me. Brightest Blessings... I hope all turns out well, and please come back and let us know how things go, would you?

There might be an affair going on but the best thing your mom could do is to have some proof.. i mean, the ring she found on his husband's wallet isn't enough to confirm that your dad is having an affair with another woman.. your mom should make a careful investigation.. she could check his mobile phone while he's asleep or while he's in the bathroom.. you can be the look out if you really want to find out the truth.. good luck..

This is heavey stuff. i think I would try and butt out of it. YOu are not for sure what is going on and frankly it is not any of your business. I realize that you might feel torn between your parnets but it is something that they need to work out themselfs. This is how I feel about it. I feel you do have the right to be angry but I also feel that you should not get directly invovled either. I hope this helps you someway, happy mylotting and have a nice day.

it is very painful reading your stuff and i am feeling very bad for your mother and for you.She must be going through a lot of mental tension and agony.You need to console her and show your love and affection towards her. As far as your dad is concerned,he is completely wrong if he is having an extra marital affair in such age.He needs to be with his family since he is suffering from cancer and needs to be taken care of.I think you should confront him and tell him how everybody is reacting to what he is doing.I hope he will understand and change his ways.

arrah_1027, I do not think it would help if you were to be pent up and second guessing here. As a child of your parents I feel that you should listen and trust them. Let you dad claim and prove his words whilst you try and comfort your mother. It is just sad that how we can all loose our focus one day due to the absence of trust and real communication in this relationship between both your parents. Through it all, there are just so many factors at play here. I am not suggesting that you take sides here but rather to get a hold of yourself emotionally. You need to be positive minded and objective with the whole situation. Ever reminding yourself here that they are your parents and that you will act and behave as lovingly as they have been to you. You father's erratic behavior may be partly due to his health condition and that he is being further aggravated by your mother's outburst. As for your mother, she may have let her jealousy got the better of her, along with her age and lack of security - it can work up quite an emotional strain. So, it would be good if you can muster up some courage and objectiveness on your part and deal with the present problem one step at a time. Hope the above poser here will be of help and do take care.

I am really sorry to hear that your dad is suffering from cancer. I hope he gets cured in recent months. It has been 2 months since your discussion being started. Now, how is everything with your family? is everything Okay?

@Arrah You are brave person.It need a lot of courage to face such a situation.People here have given you lot of ideas and i dont have anything more than that to tell you.I just hope everything will be solve peacefully.God bless to you.

Is your family muslim.... it may be he is having an affair.... and in muslim community a man can have five fives... so maybe you should talk to your dad... dont let your dad get you emotionally blackmailed... just because he has prostrate cancer doesnt mean he can use it to emotionally blackmail you... you have to remember he is still a man.... i think you need to support your mother in this.. because its hard for a woman when her husband cheats on her...

Hi this is common and you can be aware of these things and advice your father do not hesitate to sit for a open discussion with your mom and if he have that affair ask or convince him to drop it by his way, talk to him as a friend if you knew any one of his close friends ask them to talk to him in favor of you, there might be chances to recover him if this is an affair otherwise relax and enjoy the joy full life with your family, I believe there will not be any problem your problems will be solved soon by god grace. Thanks happy lotting.

It's really nice of you not to feel any anger towards your dad despite of his lies. Sorry for the assumption but I really feel that your dad is cheating on your mom. I can totally relate with your situation. However, on my case, it's my grandpa who cheated on my grandma. He's now living with his other woman in a different place. What really makes me sad is my grandma became prone to sickness. She has a heart problem right now. Despite of all these unfortunate circumstances, I don't feel hate towards my grandpa. No matter what happens, he's still the father of my mother and as a grandson, I am just leaving everything to God. For me, he still deserves some respect. I hope everything goes well between your parents.

i feel bad for you... and for your mom as well.. i think you need to confront your dad about it.. and why is he having an affair? maybe your mom has issues or flaws as well.. in a way you would also understand your dad..