Imagine your marriage is over but you don't have anywhere to go...

I can't imagine myself living together with my ex-husband.. that would definitely be a disaster evryday..

you say that your maririage is over but you and your husband are still living together.it is so complicated and strange.sorry,i am confused. do you know what is the problem in marriage?do you decide to start a new feeling?why not divorce offcially and find a new partner?both of you don't do that,so i think maybe you and your ex-husband still love each other. time can change the love into friendship or familyhood.

This happened to me in 2004 and it was an absolute nightmare. We "separated" in January, and by April he was out of control. I didn't want him to stay, but like you guys, he and I didn't have anywhere else to go. My best friend stepped in when she saw what was happening, she re-arranged her house, and made room for my children and I to move in. It was such a relief to finally get away from him. Three months following that, though, he was still stalking me until I threated to put an order of protection against him. I stayed with her for a total of six months before I felt safe enough to be out on my own again.

I don't tihnk I could do that. When the marriage is over, how can you still be able to see he/she everyday? I never know anybody that they can stay friendship after divorced.

Hi, Something hilarious U r doing,at present.No, in INDIAN context(still very conservative)no-one possibly can do it.There, relation gone butfriendship stayed .Here possibly friendship will also vanish with relationship(becomes sour,indeed).Emotions and values perception possibly on high-level here, than modern professional approach. =Lahiri,Kolkata,India.

Whatever you are going through, I recommend that you both work it out if there are no other parties invloved. Dont think of it as over, it's just over when you two are no longer seeing each other. You can still spice up your life by startting all over again. I believe that there is always a second chance as long as none of you were hurt physically. If you two still cry together it still means that you still love each other the problem is you are ignoring the feeling. Talk it out, if it really over you have to part ways in that way you can still start a new life and start your onw life instead of hanging out to each other for nothing. I admit I dont want to experience what you are going through because I am a very weak person. I will just include you in my prayers. Hope things will work out soon.

I guess we could do this. I mean, it costs a lot more to run two households than to run one, and if you can get a long, it certainly makes the custody and financial issues a bit easier.

Hi Rodveiga I can understand your situation there. Me personally, couldn't have stayed with him but we never know! May e under your circumstances, with no place to go, I would have been forced to! I get that you two are decent people and do not fight so that the kids are affected. That's good but I think you must look out for options and try to stay alone for life is harsh , you never know. Its better to sort out things legally if you two want it that way. Good luck!

It's kinda odd that I would find your discussion at this point in time. I am kind of living that situation now. However, I am not still living here because I don't have anywhere else to go, and we are not married. We have been living together for almost 4 years. I moved here, a 1600 mile move! A few weeks ago, he decided to let me know he was ready to 'move on' alone. Since then, we have not slept in the same room, he sleeps on the couch. We do not argue, we are basically just living our own lives, we are not going out or anything either. The reason I'm still here is that I have a lot of personal business to take care of before I can move. And living in the northeast, the weather has not been cooperating! Hopefully, I can take care of some of it next week, as it is supposed to be better weather. As for me, I just wish I could go ahead and get moved. Although we are getting along, we never argued, it is hard on me staying here and us not being 'us'.

I guess it this is a difficult situation but as long as you make the best of it for time being because things can only get better. I probably would not be able to handle a situation like this so respect for you! It really depends on the compromise from both parties to the extent on which they want to continue.

it is really great that one choose to live with ex-spouse and share same house i think it is not easy for every one to do so it will be very difficult to control emotions of heart.

It is entirely up to you.If you were not happy with your marriage you separated your ways and managed to gain peace and serenity of mind.You do not have anywhere to go and out of compulsion you are staying together not as husband and wife but as friends with no hassles is great .If you are feeling no burden on yourself about the kind of relationship you are sharing then i think it is best for both of you as well as for the kids.

I'll be the first to admit that my relationship with my husband is anything but normal, but I think we could live together and not be married as long as neither of us had anyone else in the picture. This almost happened to us about a year and a half ago. I was pregnant and REALLY hormonal, and he was just being pathetic so we separated. I didn't have anywhere to go at first, so I stayed with a friend while I looked for somewhere to live. We had a daughter already and a son on the way, so when I went to look at apartments I would look at 2 bedrooms thinking that my daughter and I could share a room and my son could have a nursery. One of the landlords told me that it was against fire code to have fewer bedrooms than you do people living in the apartment, so I called my hubby to tell him the bad news that we would each need a 3 bedroom. We both knew there was no way either of us would be able to afford it, so he just told me to start looking for an apartment we could rent together. It's sad, but the cost of a 3 bedroom apartment is why we got back together. I'm sure eventually we would have anyway, but at that time we used that as our excuse, that way neither of us would have to admit we wanted to be back together.

This has never happened to me. But in my current marriage (which thankfully is a happy marriage right now), I think I could stay and share the house if something happened between us. I say this because I have nowhere to go, and due to health reasons I do not work a full time job outside of the home. I could not afford to live anywhere on my own right now. So, I think if it works for you, and your kids are happy, that's great. I can definitely see how it could work as long as the relationship remained friendly. Good luck.

Yep been there done that got the T-shirt. If it is truly over then there are always ways. I know that things are hard and might be tight but if you go to the right places they can help you get out on your own and be ok.. My definition of ok is that you will have food , a roof over your head, and medical. Things might be tight and you might not have play money but at least you would be out of the situation. I was lucky because when we moved back from Kansas and things were going south when moved in with my gram and then he left becuase he couldn't handle the responsibility and I stayed with my gram.. But don't think for a minute that I didn't pay my way. My rent was 350 a month I had 2 babies and I paid for all my food and I went to college and I had a part time job and paid half of all the utilities. It can be done, you just have to find the right help. I'm sorry if the marriage is truly over it's not a fun place to be ..

I remained friends with my ex years ago but we could never have stayed under one roof. Our inability to live together was the breakdown in the marriage to begin with so I could never have stayed in the same house after we split. It was hard to find a place I could afford on my own but I managed it and think I was better off for it.