meeting online people
By devref
@devref (240)
February 3, 2009 6:59pm CST
if you met someone online that seemed to be your other half would you meet them.
i ask as i have met a person from another country who is an absolute match for me in every possible way.our minds work as one our hobbies are the same apart from one our history is so similar you would take us to be from the same family.she is willing to travel to the UK to meet up she is willing to move to he uk as she feels that the same as me we are soul mates.the only fly in this is my present partner she is in poor overall health and to all intents we are two people sharing a house with me looking after her needs.yes i feel that i should be staying and looking after my partner but feel i should grab the oportunity of happiness.my partner and i are no longer in love but there is a dependency two children and two grandchildren.i am lost and confused so please only answer if you have something sensible to say
1 person likes this
4 responses
@crazygemini (129)
• Philippines
4 Feb 09
you know what.. i understand your situation too well. as i also meet someone online.. almost a year ago. just like you,, we've been friends that share the same thing, views and principles about life and way of thinking towards other people. in other words..he's different from other man online that would ask for something irrelevant.. that's y i fell inlove with him, he knows what i feel towards him and accept it.. but he loves me as a friend. just a friend. and everytime i ask him,, he'll just say i love u.. as a friend. by then i learned to accept that maybe he just wants to be my friend and n othing more. like in your case. he asks me to look for a job in texas and stay in texas. maybe with him,, i can do that as i have dreams. and he knows it's one of my dreams to be in u.s. .. in your case.. there are alot of situations like you're going through. uhmm, if u want to know i think about it.. first, you have to really weigh things out. are you really inlove with the girl? do u think she has the purest of intention? do u think u'll be better together as lovers or just friends.? do u know her that well that you will trade your partner for her.? i think if she'll go to your place. better start as friends. then if u think u love her more when u meet her in person, then i think you should start your happiness by being with her.. but make sure that your partner will understand and you have valid reason./ if u said that u no longer love each other. i think your partner will accept it and allow you to be with the girl. but your reason should not make her feel worthless. . . i hope i share something good / / i really can relate that's y this came out very long. cause i also have the same in mind. . . i'll be glad to receive a response from you.
@devref (240)
•
4 Feb 09
it is an awkward position she feels that she wants to be near to me and eventually if all is well to be a couple there is no pressure from either side no countdown to a meeting just a knowledge that we are soul mates in every way i also feel that at some point we will meet.i also am open to the eventual couple thing so we both want to take it easy and make sure it is the right thing.although my partner and i are no longer in love we have 30yrs together and a lot of history and do still care for each other but not in the real sense of love.i am also her carer due to health issues which does not help me if i walk away and leave that problem will fall to the kids.do i deserve to be happy and leave the kids with that kind of burden?
@devref (240)
•
7 Feb 09
she is well aware of everything that is going on and accepts the situation and is content to be with me in any way we can without pressure.but like most people i know that deep down she would want more if she could just as i would but she is happy enough to be there when we can for now at least.
@crazygemini (129)
• Philippines
4 Feb 09
is she aware of your positon as the provider for your partner? what she thinks about that? yes. you're absolutely right.your children will carry all the burden. all of us deserves to be happy but 30 years is not a joke... its a tough situation and decision you're making. does your children knows about this?
@nikky28 (1572)
• India
4 Feb 09
Everyone deserves to be happy. Will your present partner feel comfortable with this idea? Will she be okay with being a friend than a spouse? If she is okay with this idea, I think its easy for you to remain a friend to her and take care of her every now and then. You could then live with your soulmate and be happy with her.
If your current partner is not okay with it, then you may have to make some really tough choices. I can imagine how confused one can be in this situation, but ultimately there is a positive solution for everything. I think communication is very important in any relationship. I suggest that you also talk to your kids about since they are grown up. They might have something good to offer. Best of luck!
@devref (240)
•
7 Feb 09
yes we all deserve to be happy if we can but at the expense of others is when it becomes a hard choice.after all the years together we have no she will not be able to accept us being friends and like most women who have been left by a spouse i know she will go out of her way to make like as difficult as possible for me.ie having a go at the kids about why i should see the grandkids the guilt trip and i know that will create more bad feeling than is necessary and to an extent i can understand that.
it is not going to be easy it never is when you land in a situation like this and i also know that no matter what advice people give it is me who has to decide what happens.i have no pressure from the other woman she know all there is to know about the position and everything else involved and she is happy to take what she can of me as and when she can whlst we both know that we want more than that we have not pressured in any way.
as for talking to the kids i dont see that working as it would be straight to mother and thats not going to help anything so that is out.
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
20 Feb 09
If the two of you are not happy and aren't in love then why stay together? I understand staying together for children and grandchildren, but it is your happiness that is at hand here. I say meet her in person and see how thing go from there. You can have the emotional, mental, and spiritual connection, but that could fall apart if you don't have that inital physical spark, and I am not saying you wouldn't. But I say meet, then see how things are. Talk to your current partner and explain things she may be okay with it you never know.
@underdogtoo (9579)
• Philippines
4 Feb 09
There is always a fly in the ointment when reality comes into the picture. The fact that you're looking for another soul mate says everything about your life. I find myself in this situation and I just do what I need to do for my children and wait for my next soul mate in the next life. Cheers!!
