Do you always forgive someone completely?

In my case, I can easily forgive someone. But it also depends on how that someone hurt me or cause a damage to me. If its too much then I can say that I cannot easily forgive that person simply because I've hurt so much and for me to forgive that person then I need time so that I can atleast learn to forgive that person. But when the time comes that im ready to forgive, I will not give my full trust to that someone again because for me, if that person hurts me once, he/she can do it agin.So I cant give my full trust to him/her again.

it's easy for me to forgive, but it's hard for me to forget.

Hello You did move on with your life, but deep inside, you must be feeling as if there's still something missing. If you ask me, if I were in your shoes, it's not going to be ok. Because you're still hurting. If you're not, you won't even be bothered if your father doesn't even make an effort to contact you. I don't think you really can forgive him fully, without knowing why he was that way with you. In this case, you need to make the first approach. Try to know why he's like that. Sometimes, there are people who are afraid to show their true emotions. It's not that they are building a wall around them, so no one can approach them. But that wall serves as a test as to who will care enough to tear down that wall and reach the person inside. I didn't like my father either when I was young. For me, he was a very strict man. And it seemed, my siblings and I will never be able to laugh with him or share a joke with him. But to our surprise, he changed. When we grew up and started having a family of our own, we decided to break the ice between us. We started approaching him, trying to bring out the warm, funny person out of that always so serious and strict man. And our efforts were not in vain. Because we did succeed in tearing down the wall around him. And we learned after so many years, when he told us that when we were still kids, he always felt that we were avoiding him. And that saddened him. He felt as if he was some monster to be avoided at all times. And that's why he decided to distance himself. So, he won't be hurt by our actions. Now, if you see us with him, you won't even think that we had some bad times with our father in the past. Maybe in your case, someone need to take the first step and bridge the gap. Forgiveness is the second step when every questions have been answered. Goodluck, and I hope one day, you will see your father and your children having a great time together.

I have learned to forgive, but that doesn't mean that I will forget all that easily. I deal with the same thing with my father for not being around. I have forgiven him completely, but that doesn't mean that I need to have contact with him or have him in my life now when he never wanted in it in the past. I asked my pastor about this months ago and he said it is completely okay. You have forgiven him, but that doesn't mean he deserves the right/honor to be in your life.

I think it's not okey for you to be that way, otherwise if that's okey you'll not be bothered on how to forgive him completely. Right we can never deny the fact that he's still your father and though you can move on with your life you feel there's still something missing and that something is forgiving him completely. How? Simple just pay him a visit, talk to him and introduce your kids as his grandchildren. You'll then realize the happiness you brought to your father, knowing his grandchildren and the right you granted to your kids and their happiness knowing their granddad. The time is getting shorter, your dad maybe just waiting for this moment for him to be at peace as well, you may do it now before it becomes too late for you to forgive him completely. Should he won't do anything for her grandchildren, or any move, it's alright, at least you did your part and you did what is right. Forgiving him completely will also completes your life.

In my situation, it is really hard for me to forgive especially when i am really hurt.. Sometimes I even do a revenge. But when I think of the things the person has done for me, I end up saying to myself, what If I was the one who did the mistake? I do not like not to be forgiven as well right???

It is very hard to come to the point in life where you feel that you are able to forgive certain actions by certain people. I think that you might be having a hard time with the forgiveness of your father because he was supposed to be an important figure in your life that should have been there for you when you were younger and you feel that he could have done a better job. You know, I think that it takes a brave person like yourself to have the maturity and growth to realize that you want to forgive. It truly seems that you do want to forgive but you don't know how. I will be the first to tell you that I would not judge you in whatever you choose to do here. This is your call. I am forty one years old in two weeks. I had myself a tough road to hoe myself. Forgiveness I believe comes the hardest when it was the people that you wanted to nurture and protect you that you feel betrayed you in a sense. The one thing that I have grown to learn when it comes to having a child of my own is to cherish the moments that I have with him and give him what I didn't have. You might not be able to change the way your father treated you as a child. If I had a time clock and would be able to fix that for you I would do it in a second. We can't do that Queenperk. I know that you know this. But you are strong and you are going to be strong for your children. I will bet that you are a loving mother to your children. I can tell that you care so much for your kids simply by the fact that it bothers you that their grandfather is not in their life. As mothers we don't want our children to feel the same emotional pain that we felt. You are a good mother whether you decide to forgive or not. The main thing here is that your children know you love them. They will remember how they were treated by you for years to come. When they do come of age they will realize how lucky they were that you were there for them. They will not have the repercussions of having hurt feelings like you did for your father. Sometimes the best way to combat this hurt that you feel for your father will go away little by little the more and more you give the children the love they deserve. They probably somehow realize it now that you really do love them. I wish you luck my friend.

well . i think you should be . take ot easy okay . nothing can get you down . moreover . he is your father . you dear father . so try to forgive . just like you forgive anybody else . i know that's maybe hard to you . but i suggest you try to do . you gonna do great ^_^

My best friend is in the same situation, she may get a phone call off of her dad maybe once every few years. But she says that she's given up trying to contact him because she never heard anything back. She says her life is better without him. I don't think she's completely forgiven him but he left before she was born so she doesn't know any different. You have to really think about the whole situation, maybe you are a better parent to your kids because your dad wasn't around for you.

It is hard to forgive a person you never knew. I know cause i was adopted when i was 9 months old. For me i am grateful that she did what she did for whatever reasons. The way that i look at it is i was raised by people who love me and my bio mom loved me enough to know that it wasn't a good idea for her to keep me. I forgive her and i understand. I really don't know her and i have 2 sisters and a brother who know her better that i do. Which is ok with me, becasue i have moved on and have my own family.

You have to be pretty strong to be able to do that. I know that I am not able to, even though we are supposed to. The only healer that really works is time. Try and work towards that goal over time. A little step each day. Hard but possible. Good luck and take care. :-)

well.. i do know how to forgive completely if there would be a better explanation.. but it will take time though.. :)

Forgive him, That's all i can say you. I believe in "Forgive but never Forget"-concept. If I'll find that fellow is really feeling sorry then only i will surely forgive him/her and will try to forget the matter .

Well I can forgive people who did wrong to me or hurted me in anyway but I tend to make that experience as a reminder so I won't be in the same situation again. It's like my defence mechanism for getting hurt, when you get hurt you tend to learn and be a better person. Eventhough how hurt you are, you have to let go and forgive because it's the only way you can move on and continue your life. Room for grudge will only full you down.

we have to forgive people for doing wrong or hurting you in some kind of way I disagree...there are ppl in my past that I'll NEVER forgive for their actions against me and they dont deserve it... As for forgiving "completely"....IMO its not possible simply because to forgive completely would be to no longer have it affect you in one way or another and thats just not possible...Think about it, if a trusted friend lies to you about something major for example, you forgive them BUT you'll NEVER truly in your heart of hearts fully completley trust them again like you did before the fact....particularly if they've done it more than once....so sure you may forgive them for their actions but never completely because it had a major impact on you and things like that change how you see, think and feel about things ya know..

I am not that kind of person who forgives completely.I usually do not want to hurt any one but unnecessarily if any one hurt me I don't find any reason to leave that person or forgive the person.I must teach that person a lesson ,if it is not possible for me to teach him today I can wait for this till my last breath.

It depend on what kind of mistake, in your case, i will forgive my father and forget him. If children asking about him, i will just tell them that he is so faraway, just wait till they grow up, and will have the right time and moment to tell them truly. I believe if we cant change the situation then we shud change the way we view that problem/ situation. There is a good proverb about this : if you kick in anger, you will hurt your own feet. :) so..i agree with you.. Keep moving on!! :)

most of the time, people forgive but they cannt forget... and im also one of them... when wer badly hurt, it's really hard to forget the painful feelings and everything weve gone through to move on...this makes us unable to forgive completely... we might say we have forgiven the person but then the pain is still there. I think it's ok... time will come that ull be able to completely forgive him... anyway, he's ur father...(wer actually having the same situation, i didnt grew up wid my father and just saw him when i was 4,but im not mad at him) =) hope ull learn to forgive him sooner. =)

You can't forgive him completely. Because he is your father. Introduce your father with your children is your wish. If you want to forgive him completely, then continue the way what are doing. Don't show even his photo to your children. Your world is chldren and husband. When your mind is changed to contact your father means you can contact him at that time.

No matter how bad i always forgive. But i find it very hard for to forget. even if it is very minor i still don't forget things easily bespecially when it hurts. The bible let us realize that the spirit is at war with the flesh like wise the flesh agianst the spirit. For you to truely frorgive your father( although you may not forget for life) you have to do things that you don't feel like doing. You have to hurt yourself.An except you do that you not be doing the will of GOD. For example. You have to go to him and spend time with him even tho u may not feel like. Try to move close to him tho you hate to. Encourage him or better still allow him to come and visit you. Cal him. And most importantly pray for him. Believe me if you pray for someone u don't like , u'll just realize that that hatred is going away some how. I'v tried that. And it did work.May God help you