Wanna Lose 50 lbs? Try the Purina Diet!
By barehugs
@barehugs (8973)
Canada
February 4, 2009 7:16pm CST
Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart, for
my dogs: Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about to check out when a
woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her," No, I did not have a dog, but I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I
probably should not because I ended up in the hospital last time.
On the bright side though, I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now).
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food had poisoned me.
I told her no; "I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot
to lick my butt and a car hit me."
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
3 people like this
12 responses
@sahmof2 (274)
• United States
5 Feb 09
That was the funniest thing I heard in a long time, I am over here with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. My 1 year old is looking at me like I am crazy for laughing at a computer screen, my son is asking me what am I laughing at. Why would someone ask if you had a dog when your purchasing two big bags of dog food, maybe she thought you were giving someone a gift. rofl.
2 people like this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
11 Feb 09
LOL! That is so funny! And the woman bought the whole story? Some people are so gullible! LOL
You remind me of one of my uncles. He's good at making up stories. And a lot of people believe him too!
Some years ago he got my sister to believe one of his stories. They had been talking to each other on the phone and he told my sister how to cook a turkey with popcorn kernels stuffed inside... the more, the better. Needless to say my sister believed everything he said until he asked her "And do you know when it is done?" Perplexed, she asked "when it's wings move?" He said "No, when it's @ss blows up!" At that point she knew she had fallen for one of his stories. LOL
He tried to pull one on me once a few years ago. He told me how there were new Jaguar trucks on the market and that they only came in black. He said something about how he was going to buy one. However, I didn't buy his story. I knew that he was full of it and he wondered how I knew. I said because there aren't such things as Jaguar trucks! He told me I was the only one that didn't fall for his story. Everyone he had told that story to up to that point believed him. LOL He can be quiet convincing with his story telling. But I know better. LOL
Hilarious!!!!! 
@proudnana (192)
• Canada
5 Feb 09
LMAO!
That was great! Thanks for the laugh, and making my day!
~proudnana~
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
5 Feb 09
That is too good...I wish you went shopping where I go shopping, it would certainly be more interesting.
I just have one question...did the dry food work well to keep your teeth clean?
@irishmist (3814)
• United States
5 Feb 09
Ha ha what a cute story, I would have been rolling on the floor in the store if I had been there and heard you telling this story. thanks for brining a bright spot to my day!
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
5 Feb 09
Yes, you must have enthralled all the people in the checkout line with that hilarious story, barehugs.
You are such a card.
Very, very funny.
Very, very funny.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
5 Feb 09
I had 2 friends e-mail this to me! I think it is funny as heck!!
