some friends you only see and hear from about when they have problems

I had a really close friend who I had lost touch with. I had not heard from her for about two or three years. One day, I was preparing to go on vacation, and my son told me that she called and left a number to reach her at. I was so excited, I called her right away. She was having money problems and was in the process of moving and did not have all of the money she needed. She asked if she could borrow $300.00. Since I was going on vacation, I had the cash on me, so I took $300.00 and went to where she was to give her the money. She said she would call me the following Monday, which she did, and we talked for a little while, she was to call me back to give me her new address so that I could come to get my money. Well, that was over ten years ago, and I have not heard from her since. I guess being a friend does mean you will not get your money back. I was so hurt by her actions, that I went out of my way to help her, and she couldn't even call me back to say that there was no way she could pay me back. I would have understood that better, than for her not to call me ever again. I have learned, that when you loan money to people not to expect it back, if you get it back that is great, if not, then it is what you expected. At least your friend did get back to you seven months later, I am still waiting to hear from my ex friend.

Personally there are a lot of people out there. What Bugs me is people who are like this though for sure. When you only hear from them when they need something and then a lot of the other time they ignore you, that is Crazy. I know that that is when I make sure to make a mental note no matter what to never loan them anything again. Things are tight around for everyone, so they should have explained from the start instead of now, as to personally if they have not paid you back yet or offered too in Cash, they probably never will either.

Hi pieter! Unfortunately there are alot of people like that in this world and you have to be very careful who you pick to be your friends. People will try to get over on you if they can especially if they know that you are a kind person. Never lend money to a person that you don't really know. That is the first lesson to be learned. In fact, don't lend money! People will always try to take advantage of you if you let them! So try to stay strong and learn to look out for yourself and learn to say NO!

in such a situation i will not act as a saint telling that i dont need that money and she is my friend. i willnot do that. if she is considering you as a friend she should tell you the reason for the delay atleast. but if she is not doing that it is not at all a good friendship you can straight away ask her. if she mistakes then its not the fault in you it is the fault on her. so ask back. thats the right thing.

I think I speak for everyone when I say that we've all had a friend like that at least once in our lives; or at least similar. I don't want to tell you what you should do, but in that situation, I'd take the direct approach and demand my money back with the condition that the moment I had it back our friendship was over. If they only want me around when they're in trouble and need something from me, then they're not a friend worth having no matter what. People like these are called "psychic vampires" because they drain you dry and give nothing in return and expect to give nothing in return; they feed off people's sympathy. Anyways, like I said, I would take the direct approach and as soon as I had my money back, I would end the friendship. I can't say for others, but though that's the action I would take, I'd still feel bad because, as terrible as they were, they were still my friend. In fact, I recall extending a friendship past the breaking point just because I thought that that's how friends were, you know? I thought "maybe I'm supposed to give selflessly without expecting anything in return" because that's how I was raised; it's better to give than to get and such. Now, expecting nothing in return is a good policy when it's a good friend you can trust, but if you only seem to see them when they have problems, then its really not the best thought policy.

Im in this kind of situation as well.. in fact, this friend of mine only returned the $ after 5 whole years.. by installment.. and what makes this case worse is that its only a few hundred dollars.. LOL Well, what are friends for? if you can accept how he/she is, dont be too calculative, if you cant accept this kind of character/personality, give him/her up as a friend, simple as that...

I believe, you showed an extraordinary patience and understanding of a person's situations. But if it would have been a same case with my friend, I would have rather not lend her money, cause when she speaks to me only in her times of need then God knows if she will need me again, and so if she would ever return my favor at all. If I would have ever made up my mind to help someone like that I would have always thought of my money as good as gone. Hope you get your money back and keep your friend. Take care God Bless YOU

Well, I can say that some friends (who were not real friends) were like that.. They are so mean.. They can just remember us when they needed something and nobody can help them.. I also have so many friends who were like that.. They were so kind to me and they really call or text me if they needed some help but after you had helped them, they don't remember me anymore or I am not their friends again.. However, I haven't lend money from my friends.. I had helped them in doing some favor that they were asking such as borrowing clothes, shoes, sandals, helping them in their homework, etc but never lending money since I am not that rich to lend money to others.. I have this one friend who had borrow my shirt since that time she was very wet and she was already getting cold.. Since I had brought some extra shirt, I had lend her my shirt.. But it takes already 2 years before she actually returned my shirt.. If I didn't asked her about my shirt, she won't returned to me anymore.. The worst was my shirt was very faded already.. Obviously, she was using my shirt many times already.. I remembered that I had just used that shirt for once then I had lend to her already but when she returned it to me, its already faded.. I was so mad at her for that.. I had told some of my friends about what she've done and my friends also told me that she don't usually returned the stuff that she borrowed unless you really demand it to get that stuff...

Yes, i've had friends that i can only get to see and hear when they have problems with money and relationships.. and yes, it sucks.. i mean, you haven't talked to me for years and then suddenly, you'll come to me and ask for money? what the ???? you're such a user!

yes people always do this. and once they appear again they ask you to lend they some money to pass the diffcult times. i heard lots of this people around me.you are so generous to your friend and in my opinion you can agree to delay the refund date and forgive her if she still in the hardship. but shedon't tell you the act and even turns deaf will make you ungry and lost your confindence of the friendship. uh,,,i think if someone want to keep a green friendship, please do not borrow money from your friend, any!

I would tell her to give my money back now. If you are a friend to her, you have the responsibility to make her a better friend by not causing you anxiety like this.

Yeah,some friends are like that. I have a problem that she just come to us when she needs help, but she dont she seems not existing..this act so disgusting..

That's called user-friendly.:(

I would tell her that i need my money back...And I'm sorry to say to me it sounds as if shes taking advantage of you. When will she get her bonus and even though she cant pay you back yet she should still give your card back...AND you should get your pen change...you know for that just in case moment she gets mad or happens to need money...she prolly figures you want mind...So I'd handle that asap

hi pieter! well i can be that kind, too. but i have a certain friend that we do that to each other, but since we have reached a certain level of friendship and trust, we don't mind. and when we come to each other, there is no feeling that we approach the other one only when we need something. anyway, but there are people who make me uncomfortable. it feels like they are just using me for their own advantage and forget about me when they are done. i feel bad about this people. however, i still do my best to help people. not with this friend. take care and God bless you! happy mylotting! :D

I would tell her that you NEED your money, and if she can't pay it all then at least she needs to start making payments. That way you MIGHT get at least some of the money back. I am only using the word friend, they aren't really if friends if they do that to you. I know a couple we thought were friends but they only have time to see us when they want something. Now we just don't call them or anything, if they show up we are pleasant. But we no longer lend them money or anything else.

Hello Pieter! I am really sad to hear that you have gone through all this but my friend, this has served as an important lesson. Now you know about the girl and you can not be cheated again. Going to your question, you are right. 99% of the friends, especially girls, are like that only. They will come crying to you when they will be in some problem and otherwise, they would not even care to call you up to say "Hi", or wish you on your birthday, etc. Have a happy life and god save you from such "friends" happy mylotting!

When the time that you have helped her, there was no question on your mind that you will help your friend all the way there because you trusted her on your bank card. It is very unusual that you just gave your bank card right there and then. You are a good friend. You have to ask yourself...is she a good friend to you? You should get the money because that was your agreement with her...if you agree about something, you should see to it that you are true to your terms...