How long to grieve
By miccant
@miccant (154)
United States
February 6, 2009 12:28pm CST
My mom passed away last May and my sister is still having alot of trouble with it. Her husband keeps telling her that it has been long enough and she needs to grow up. I know that everybody grieves in there own way and for as long as they need to. I still have issues somedays. But she asks me what she should do. I don't know what to say. She says she loves her husband but she misses her mom. Does he have a right to expect her to move on? Can anyone help in this matter??
3 responses
@dsrtrose (166)
• United States
7 Feb 09
My mother has been gone almost 30 years, and there are times I still miss her acutely. When I have made achievements, accomplishments. When I got married, gave birth to my son, etc... all things I wish she could have shared in. And every year on her birthday I think of her as well. So, time is not supposed to ERASE the pain, it only lets us deal with it better. She is right to still miss her, PLUS she has that element of guilt of not being there. Tell her to try to explain her feelings to her husband and have her ask him to help her work through her grief. If he is unwilling, at least he will know what it is she is feeling.It is part of marriage to SHARE life events such as this, not for him to be accusatory about them!
1 person likes this
@joyoustreasures (185)
• United States
23 Feb 09
I think her husband is being hard on her, but you don't want to create disrespect in her toward her husband. I think you just need to be there for her in a way that only sisters can be. Support her, cry with her, and grieve with her. I wish I knew what you could say to her husband, but I don't. I hope he becomes more understanding.
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
14 Feb 09
I don't think there is any real length of time for greiving, but there is a process. If she is working through the process then she is in good shape. However, if she becomes stuck at a certain step, she may need help moving on towards the next, but not by someone telling her "grow up" or "get over it".
