Should you go

Don't jump to the conclusion that your father does not love you. He may just have a problem with getting away from home. Maybe he feels more comfortable at home. A sort of shyness, if you will. After all, he is planning a cookout so he does want you around. Some people are more at ease in their own environment. Your mom probably understood this, but also knew how to draw him out. Now that she is not there, he has no one to coax him into getting out to see his kids. Don't withdraw from him. I am sure he needs you - probably more than ever with your mom not around. Take that extra step and see if you can find out why he doesn't come to your parties. It may take more than one or two visits, so be patient.

Maybe the bottom line is to not attend functions out of obligation. Perhaps your dad didnt ever really want to come to your parties... you do say your mum used to 'make' him. It could be that he now feels more comfortable entertaining from his own home. If you dont want to go, have the honesty to tell him, but, if you'd like to go, then do & enjoy it. You could just say that it would be lovely to see him at one of your parties soon. I hope it all resolves itself agreeably.

you said your mom is gone.it is hard been alone at a party even if your kids are there.it may be that he doesn't know what to do with him self.I see i am late in this posting it was three day ago. I hope every thing worked out.