Cheating Dad.

Oh these signs and symptoms. How old are you, by the way? My dad cheated plenty of times, we lost count. First of all, in my case, I don't want my parents back ever again. So just some sharing: When my dad left his phone here and someone texted him, my mom checked it. This was in the late stage of my dad telling my mom that she should fix herself up and dress more nicely and whatever. Anyway, the message was an MMS thing of the other woman's picture saying: "Hey love, I'm waiting for you." I was in high school, I think. I didn't know how to deal with it. Even before mom sensed the cheating, there were lots and lots of fights. Sometimes even reaches physical injury. My, the house couldn't get enough of it. My mom instantly confronted him and he lied about it but no one believed him. A few years later, now that I am 20 years old, we found out that dad and his other woman now have a child. One year old boy. I've seen him anyway. So you asked: Do I let it all go and leave them be with their problem? Uhm. I think you shouldn't cause well, soon you'll realize how much your mom needs you. Based on my experience, I wasn't really active in these things but I openly let my dad know that I hate him. I think, your mom needs you. My mom had times when she felt alone because of all these. She developed some trauma and she had to go for therapy and all. Your mom needs someone.. She needs you. Let your mom lean on you so she can take a break from all these. Based on my experience. (This is one of the many things why my mom and I are best buds though.) Is it time to act before it's too late? I am not so sure of this but from what my mom did, she let her instincts guide her. When she had solid proof, she confronted right away. She trusted her instincts and what with all those signs. What do you mean by act anyway? Do you intend to stop your dad's affair, is that it? What I did was trust my mom. Cliche but yes, she knows best. When she gets angry, I let her. I don't stop her from expressing herself but when it's to the point that my dad will hit her, I come in the way. I protect her. I just stay by my mom's side. To tell you the truth, I am not the type of daughter who'd attack her dad. I'm scared because twice he threatened me that he won't pay for my school fees anymore then I won't be able to study. When I'm all done with school, what I would do is of course, earn for myself so that I won't have to rely on my dad then when I have enough I'll support my mom. My mom doesn't have her own job plus my dad took all her money. I hope I made sense. I didn't bother proofreading.

If I were you I will really call the girl, no not to confront her, but just ask her politely. You have the right to ask who she is because you are the daughter of the owner of the celfon. Just do it for the sake of your mother. You know, I am so very sensitive to this issue because this happen also in my life when I was still in college, my father cheated my mother once that my mother confronted the girl. If I was in our place at that time (I was studying in college very far from our place), I will really confront the girl and break her face heaven's forbid. These women who cling to married men should be banged in the wall to give them lesson in life that what they are doing is inconceivable for a decent woman.

hi laydee! oh that is awful...i think it is the most painful thing to happen to a family because it involves decision. i have a friend in a similar situation. she has found sweet text messages between a girl and her father. she cried hard about it and prayed hard. i have not talked to her anymore and so i dunno what happened. but i guess in my part, i will copy the number and text the girl and pretend that i am a textmate. and would get to know her. and then probably meet up with her. i would like to talk to her and know her thoughts. maybe i will not tell her who i really am, i just want to get to her and maybe talk her into knowing the relationship she is in. please pray hard for your father that he will not fall farther, such as having a baby with this girl. it will be most difficult. let there be forgiveness in your family. take care and God bless you! happy mylotting!

Everyone is entitled to live their own life in their own way. No one can just Butt in and give advise. This is because Nobody, not even a Family Member knows the true facts of another's life or another persons marriage. Sad to say, (but say it I must) This matter is,' None of your Business.' Like I already stated, You cannot know the true Facts or Reasons behind your Fathers actions, and even if you did, you are not in a position to advise your parents on their personal needs or life style. Takes two to tango, and perhaps your mom is not as innocent as you believe. If you go ahead with it, there is a better than average chance, you will bemoan your regretful intrusion into their lives for as long as you live.

The only thing I can say it what I would do.I would take my father out to lunch after lunch maybe go sit in the park or some where that is not too loud and tell him that this is something that you just want him to listen and not respond to and tell him I think your cheating on my mother and if you are you need to stop look at all the years she has devoted to you and this family you need not disrespect her this way she loves you very much and this is something you really need to think about look at how much you are throwing away and add your own words in with it of course I would do this with out telling your mother at first and well if it continues I feel yes you should step in and have your mothers back after all she would have yours I went through this while I was growing up and in college before my parents split for good and it was very hard on my mother and I feel for you for having to deal with a awful problem like this its alot of stress no need to corner your father but to share your thoughts with him I see nothing wrong with and if he loves you which I am sure he does then he will listen to you and I would call the lady for sure just to let her know you know and o well what is she going to do tell or dad if he says something to you that is recognitions of his guilt you are not helpless in the matter I know you may feel it but your not I am sure you will make the right choice its hard to be torn between to parents and it is just heart breaking! Good luck and please keep me posted.

Hi there. I am really and truly sorry to hear about your situation. It must be difficult for you to come to terms with how much things have obviously changed between your mother and father. You really are in an awkward situation. I will try and give you advice by imagining what I would do if I were you right now. I'm just wondering because his phone had no record of any messages. If he cheating as you suspect, then he is being really careful about not leaving any traces behind. I guess if I was you, I would actually call the number that you suspect belongs to the woman he is cheating with, but withold my number, and then just see who answers. If a woman does pick up, I think I would actually talk to my dad, not accuse him directly, but tell him what my gut feeling is. As his daughter I would hope that he really listens to you and can be honest about what is happening. I wish you the best of luck. Please let us know how everything goes. xx

Tough situation...I'd say sit down with your mom, talk to her, encourage her to take control of the situation. If he is cheating then she'll have to decide whether to end the marriage or not...that's got to be her choice. I'd also encourage her to ask your dad the tough question and find out for sure. As for the number, I'd ask your mom what she wants to do about it. If she wants to look deeper into it, then offer to help her out...if not, then you have to let them handle it. After all, you wouldn't want your mom or dad creeping around behind your back trying to find out if there's a problem with your b/f. If he's having an affair and your mom decides to end the marriage, she's going to need all the support you can possibly give her...30 years is awfully hard to let go of. I wish you and your family good thoughts. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]

I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through this. This is horrible to see the pain in your mother. I really hope it is not too late, I would call this '@' if I were you. Just call and ask after all you are not doing anything wrong but looking out for your parents. They been together 30 years and it is sad to see it go away. But did you ask your mom how she feels about, if your dad was pushed to the edge and he admits cheating. Will he decide to leave your mother for this "@" or worse can your mother forgive him? The pain can be harder than ever. I hope you find a a way to make this less painful.

Cheating Dad symptoms? He'd come down really hard on me for little things. When I would look at him he would be like, "What are you looking at?" Mysterious cars coming to pick him up at odd times. Phone calls of women calling the house and speaking really snotty to me and to my mom. Yes, you bet I know the drill. My mom told me to report any suspicious goings on--be they on his job(he was a construction worker) or anything else, to her.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this pain.. and i feel more sorry for your mom who has been a great wife for 30 years.. 30 years isn't a joke.. i mean, if i were you, i wouldn't let anyone to intrude or break the happy relationship of my parents.. If you want to save their relationship then do something to stop the extra marrital affair of your dad with that pathetic woman.. Pursue your plan and call the marked "@"... first, listen to her voice then try to send a text message. I were in your shoes, i'd use a different number and pretend that you're the dad.. send her sweet text messages and once you've confirmed, then call her up and let her know what you truly feel.. you have the right to voice out.. save your parents' marriage before it gets too late..

I'm so sorry for you, I'm really feeling it for the situation you are in. It's unfair that you should have to go through that but again nothing in life seems to be fair nowadays. I know there are a million and one things running through your mind now, but I want to assure you that whatever you do is always going to be right, irrespective. You see, the problem is not you, neither is it your mother. You and your mum need to be strong now for the sake of your family and remember there is no wrong way of handling this situation or there are no mistakes from you or your mum. Just remember that. Your dad has made a situation and your mum and you have two options: to turn a blind eye and assume nothing is happening (see no evil, hear no evil) or to take on the situation head on. The first option is a sure way of breaking up your family and put to waste your parents 30+ years of marriage - and for what? Which leaves you with the second option. Reaction and counteraction to every move that your father makes. Whatever you do, do not feel helpless. I am a man and I'll tell you this. There are things that men do not out of courage but out of desire - even a moment's desire (evil as they may be). Your dad has been loyal and caring for the better part of 30 years, the fact that he starts messing around after joining that stupid club of men who think with what they have between their legs says a million things about him. He has obviously had some courage injected into him, and stupid him, he has allowed himself to be talked into extramarital relationships. We can never know for sure if he has made his decisions out of courage or our of desire - until you test him that is. It's now upon you and your mum to find out how far he is willing to go with his new found desires. Talk to him (I hope you are in talking terms) first and let him know you have the number (of course after confirming that the number you have is actually a woman's and she has a relationship with him). Let him know that you are against what he is doing and you shall pass on the number to your mother if he doesn't call off the relationship. As a matter most men find some thrill in having secret extramarital affairs, the affairs tend to be less attractive when everybody knows about it. So hopefully your dad's affair might lose its allure once you confront him and make it common knowledge. Should he fail to mend his ways, confront him with your mum and try to talk him out of it. Be nice if he is nice, be rough if he wants to play it rough. Remember you deserve your happiness and he deserves to be miserable because of the decisions he has made. Hassle him and let it be the only thing that you talk about every time he is home, make it as uncomfortable as you can until he comes to his senses and realizes his extramarital affair is giving him more misery than happiness. Whatever he does or threatens to do, do not be scared. Remember its not you or your mum who should apologize, its him. SO whatever you do, don't be sorry. And it can only get worse before it gets better, so be prepared to fight for your family long term. He has made your mother and you miserable, he deserves some misery until he comes back to his senses. Our prayers are with you and your family, please keep us posted.