She has gained weight, and pushed me away...

So lets get this straight, you fell in LOVE with a girl that you didn't really know in the first place? Well if you really want a way out of the relationship, i suggest you march up to her and tell her that this relationship isn't going where you'd like it to go, and tell her that you and her aren't right for each other, or atleast you feel that way. if she says she doesn't care, i don't know why that would stop you from ending it. if she says he doens't care, than you'll have to tell her to start caring because she's single not. People these days gotta learn how to just tell things straight up. Going in circles in speech only confuses the other person and its not gonna get done what you want to happen. As for you friends, ( if you told them about the weight problem) they may be that like you're shallow and only breaking up with her because of that issue. But in reality, ( i woudl suppose) that you and her just REALLY aren't working out. If thats the serious reason than you tell your friends that a relationship is a good relationship if both like each other and want to be with each, if i feel that its not wokring out between me and her, and more important if you dont' see a future with her, there is no reason for you to be with her any longer. I don't thinking you're friends would want to be in a relationship that isn't to their liking and one in which they feel isn't going anywhere. and after you do all this.. you go on with you life, but there is one more thing left to do. Change your view of love. Love is relative to what one thinks of it and feels what it is. To me you weren't in love at all, maybe just a strong obsession ( BIG BIG DIFFERENCE THAN LOVE). So just remember love don't just happen like that. For love to happen you have to go through the like processes... you know.. crush, like, strong like, int he middle of like and love.. than LOVE... so just take it nice and slow.. that is next time.. first things first though.. be stright up with yout (ex)-girl and your friends.. than you can move on.

Since you know what you want out of life and she's not setting her goals as the same as yours, then I'd kindly tell her that this just isn't working out because our goals aren't the same. I wouldn't ever hold her weight as your reason of ending things, because sometimes things factor into a person's life that can't be helped on gaining a few extra pounds.

Your title is very misleading here. Sounds as if you were the one that pushed her away. I do agree with you on the part about 3 naps a day and thinking the man should take care of her....all that. Those are very valid reasons for maybe thinking of leaving a relationship. The way you talk about her weight-gain just rubs me wrong. In life, people gain weight, lose weight, age and otherwise physically change or very well could. An accident could seriously disfigure someone for life. If you love someone, those changes are meaningless to you. I think I know what you might be saying here but it just sounds as if you are really focusing on the weight gain a bit strongly. I know men who have shunned their wives or girlfriends when they have gained weight due to carrying their child. Anyway...it sounds like this is not a match made in heaven. You'd probably doing the both of you a favor to move on.

I have mixed feelings on this one. On the one hand I think you are being selfish by suddenly deciding you don't want to be with her due to her appearance and you should discuss it with her. See if you can encourage her a bit. However, on the other hand, you do make some good and valid points and if she is completely unwilling to even make any effort, I can't see why anyone would want to be with her. I'd say to have a chat with her and tell her how you are feeling. If she gives a rats behind she will at least make some kind of effort. If not, you're probably better off without her.

It sounds like you are college age and you went out with someone for a couple months. Now you are realizing she isn't what you want. Break up with her. You can't make her happy if you aren't happy. You were only dating, the point of dating is to find out if you are really meant to be together, obviously you are not so the dating process worked, it determined you aren't meant to be together. I wouldn't tell her because she put on weight you are dumping her, that might be a little cold, but if you don't feel the same about her then you need to get out and better now then after things were really serious.

It does sound to me like you are still a bit young and pardon me for saying it, but a bit imature to be getting involved with someone may not be a good idea right now. I don't think you are a bad person, mind you, but this relationship in particular does not seem right for you. The fun stuff in the beginning of a relationship is all very well and good, but a true relationship is for the long haul, and I think you should not be dishonest and try to continue this relationship if your heart isn't in it. It may hurt her a lot in the beginning to hear that you don't want to go out anymore, but it may also help her in the long run to hear the truth! I know I would have been saved a lot of heartache in my pre-marriage dating years if the guys I went out with had been honest and not dragged things on if they weren't working out. As a matter of fact, I did have a few guys break up with me for honest reasons, and looking back I really appreciated their honesty, even if I remember them as jerks! Good discussion, though!

Hi there, sorry but they way I see it you do not really love her as she is that you claim of. you just like her because of her physical attributes but now that she doesn't fit in to the person that you plan to fall in love with or to love with you are just finding reasons just to push her away. True love is unconditional, meaning no matter what she become of you will still love her and will accept her. But with your reaction now you were just taken because she used to fit into the standards that you have dream of. This is not love that you are feeling it is just a mere infatuation.

No I agree to your decision of breaking up your relationship. I think it is a wise decision to take a break and move on in life.

Hey Raymo. I think you'd better change the title as,"she has gained weight and I pushed her away." The truth is what you have already said, you were not in love with her and it's just infatuation. Real love will not behave like that and maybe you are college guy, not really know what is love. Well, you said she is selfish, but if you truely loved her, you will just be willing to do everything for her and never have this thought, like a parent will do everything for his kid. Well, it's ok. Relationship comes and goes and it's nobody's fault. Move on, both you and the girl. It's good for you to find out what kinda girl you really want. But next time you have to be careful and loyal. Find one who can't gain weight so easily, lol, a bony one and get admired by all men and women. Finally you will learn to love someone and be loved. Good luck.

It is really unfair for you to break the relationship.What if she gained wait after you got married with her?Will you go for a divorce?Well,love should be unconditional.I think you had no love for her and only lust ruled over the relationship.I pity you and feel sorry for the girl.Please reconsider your ideas as the weight gained can be put down with effort,if you are in real love.

Doesn't it mean that you loved her physically and not emotionally when she was slim and attractive .When she put on the weight then to cover up for your back out from the relationship you have started finding faults in her.Dear this is not done.

Ok...this is a very touchy situation for woman. I think most woman would say they worry about their weight. When you are first attracted to someone it is usually because of the physical attraction and a change in the physical looks can effect your feelings. I am not a small girl myself and have struggled with my weight for years. I was in a marriage that I gained about 20lbs and my husband made it very clear to me that he wasn't happy about it. Unfortunately it is something that can wreck a relationship. I am not saying it is right but it happens. If you are unhappy for any reason you should be honest with her...I am not saying tell her you are no longer attracted cuz of the weight gain...since you are saying that is not the main reasons...just be honest and tell her the lack of motiviation. I am a firm believer that 2 people in a relationship should have common goals and asperations and obviously you two don't have that. Be gentle with her because she may have no idea what is happening.

I thought you just loved her for her beauty. now you want to break up with her, the real reason is that you don't find her attractive any more. other reasons are all excuses. however, if you do want to break up with her, go break up with her and you don't have to care about what other people might think. it's nobody's business but yours.

Hmm, it seems that you realized you were just infatuated with her, not actually in love. Though I question if you knew the points you don't like about her before dating her, and the gained weight just added to it and made you want to end the relationship. Either way, if you no longer have feelings towards her and you've explained how you feel about her being lazy and whatnot to her, and she still doesn't change, then it's best just to end the relationship. Prolonging it will only hurt her more in the end. However, I still think it's really odd that you'd call her gaining weight selfish, maybe she might have used food as an outlet for some troubles going on in her life or emotional trauma she might be going through. A person just doesn't wake up one day and declares: "Oh, I feel like gaining fifty pounds today. Because, yeah, my boyfriend will totally love that." Have you actually asked her why she gained the weight? If you loved her, which you stated you were infatuated with her, it wouldn't matter anyways. In a nutshell, dating is pretty much testing the waters for marriage. If you're not compatible there's no reason to stay together, especially if they don't meet your realistic expectations or needs. No one is perfect, but if the cons outweigh the pros, then it's best to move on.

Okay, so why was the title 'She has gained weight, and pushed me away...?' It should probably be, 'She has gained weight, so I pushed her away.' So you were infatuated with her--okay, good. But before diving into a relationship with her you should have known who she really was first. As the old adage says, 'Many a man in love with a dimple make a mistake of marrying the whole girl.' You sound just like that [to me], right now. Appearance shouldn't really be that BIG a factor when you're looking for someone to be with; you should've just looked for a fling and NOT for a girlfriend. I understand you for the two reasons you gave--'cause I'm a girl and I don't like to idle that much as well, and just because there's a chance I'd end up being someone's housewife doesn't mean I should be dumb and all that; that's silly. Girls should just be as smart--if not more--than boys are. You sound to me as if you've got a point in what you're saying, but still your complaint about her appearance just overshadows everything. So she's gained weight, who cares? You should love her no matter what she looks like. No, it's not her who's selfish; IT. IS. YOU.