Why

It depends on how long and how well you've known the friend, I guess. If it's somebody whom you've been through a lot with, then yes. You have a strong enough bond to act adult and talk it through. However, if the bond isn't there, and the "friend" won't talk things through with you, then there was no trust there in the beginning and they were not a true friend. Sulking is bad, crying to others is a bad sign, and completely ignoring one's attempts to talk is bad. At these times, it's time to evaluate who your "real friends" are, and make the split or tighten the bond accordingly. Life's to precious to dwell on those who don't wish to make amends... they're not friends, Gabs. They're best left to their own, whatever route they choose to take, and you also do your own thing. Why... did you want to talk something through with me? lol. Brightest Blessings, love and hugs, my Special Friend. xxx

To ignore a friend is never a good thing, especially if there is a problem between you. I try very very hard to always be open minded where my friends are concerned. They are a diverse group and I know that there are things with all of them that I don't agree with, but they can say the same of me. So I try to remain neutral when those things come up. No friendship is worth losing because of the differences between us. THAT'S being adult. However. Sometimes those things do come up and if the friend pushes me to the wall on them and forces me to no longer be neutral but express my negativity about whatever it is, I will do as honestly and kindly as I can. If the friend then takes it really badly and won't work with me towards a resolution of the problem, then I have no choice but to walk away as I will NOT keep arguing and arguing and just make things worse. That's not to say that I will no longer care about that friend. My door is always open to them, but I will not actively pursue a friendship that does more harm than good.

I tend to be a bit too straight with people. I hate the 'no speaks'. I ask if I've offended someone and tackle things head on, I also tell people if they offend me, although it does take a lot to offend me. I'm with you gabs, friends should discuss and resolve problems. Sometimes it may mean agreeing to differ but that's life.

That's what would be the best out come of course but sometimes friends disagree and it is difficult to stay neutral. I was once attacked by a workmate regarding my opinion of rude customers. I contacted a friend, looking for some sympathy and consoling and she was actually friends with my co-worker and she not only took her side, but then publicly ridiculed me. So sometimes the people who you think are your friends are in fact not your friends at all. I also find that people can be very two faced and fickle. You see a person as a friend because they are always sweet and friendly towards you and telling you that you will be friends forever. You love this person because they are kind, understanding and seem to go out of their way to make you feel loved and wanted and very special. Then, when you least expect it you see this person show their true colours and being horrible to a person who they mistakenly feel has wronged them. Or there is the friend that says they will always be there for you but when you need them they don't seem to want to know you. I have had many friends but when I truly need a friend, I don't know where to turn. Talking things over is one thing...listening properly and doing your best to truly understand where the other person is coming from is really hard especially if neither one is prepared to back down or compromise.

I think you are right....if you are true friends you should be able to talk about anything....or talk through anything...including problems..

Yes sweetie, that is true friendship when both can handle the truth in a constructive manner. I have a wonderful friend whom I've been friends with for the past 19 years and when she has something to say that I may not like, she'll say something like "Friends forever, right?" before she tells me what's on her mind. I always tell her "Of course! I'd rather have the truth than to have someone lie to me." Then she'll tell me what she feels or how she sees "it" what ever it may be. I can agree or disagree but we're still friends and always will be. She knows I have her back and I know she has mine. I'm like that with anybody, the truth is the truth and I'll tell everybody the truth, if they ask. I find it much better this way and it does strengthen the friendship because then we all know where we stand.

I agree with you. But, when a person goes above and beyond that make this person a true friend. Many times I have turned to the internet to vent and many times people have offered comfort and more. I consider those people my friends. You are one of those with whom I have become quite attached. You are a true friend. Big huggers to you.

Ya know my answer as we do it all the time! hugs

I agree with you. True friends should be able to talk things out like mature adults instead of letting it sit and fester in their minds and ultimately cause all sorts of problems. If two people can't work it out face to face, then there is definitely a problem with the friendship.

I completely agree. That is the true measure of an actual friendship.

Oh, gabs, I'm sorry you are feeling this way about a friendship of yours. You are too wonderful a person to ever be made to feel this way by someone who you care about. I hope there has just been a misunderstanding and that all things will work themselves out.

I think if you care about the friend, you should talk about the problem. And if you don't want to talk about it, you should forget about it. But none of this going around people's backs nonsense.

Yes that is the true friendship, undisputedly. When you are a true friend then you do not think about the friendship but the friend and his problems.

Hi, yes so true as you thinking. but, since we are all living in a more complicated world with high definitions of culture. so, here sometimes people don't really like talking to the friends even when they want to.it is the social dignity of the person which stops him from doing that. or it is just the lack of faith in other person. so, whatever may be the reason. if there is problem among friends then the best way to resolve it by talking straight. otherwise they shouldn't be called as friends to each other...:)

yes I do have a few friends like that, and I am happy to have them too.

...that really depends, ever heard of the saying "misery loves company"? sometimes we have friends that take every situation a major problem. The more we hear their grievances the more problems they could see out of life. In this case, I guess, we should just let them deal with it first. But if we could see that not helping them would lead to a tragic outcome, then that's the time we jump in.

Sounds like a good plan to me. I know it is not always easy to do this. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to discuss a sensitive topic. Slow Breathing does help during a difficult conversation. Think before speaking or writing. Do not be afraid of using an eraser.

True friends do tell each other everything, and support each other in times of trouble, by talking about and sharing their problems etc. They take the good with the bad, it's all part of true friendship. "A trouble shared is a trouble halved" -a very good, and true saying. Friends take the good with the bad, it's all part of true friendship.

Hi gabs, Yes friends should be there ande help each other out and listen to each others problem, not ignore them and if a friend ignore the other, well they are not true friend. Love and hugs. Tamara xxxxx

I totally agree with you. If you let it go and do not talk about it then the problem just grows and becomes something really ugly. Talk it out and resolve it or part ways if it is something you just can't fix. It does no one any good to say nothing. I wouldn't just blert it out. You can figure out how to do it with a little finesse.