Would you lie for your parents?

Hi there Maezee, 95% of the time I can decide my opinion about a given topic here on Mylot by the time I finished reading it. Your discussion is in that top 5% that is a very difficult moral quandary. You have articulated the problems so well. The problem between doing what you believe is morally right vs. being loving and loyal to your father. As you have already said thank goodness he is no longer married to your mother and so you are not directly in the middle in that sense anymore. I'm wondering do you have contact with him very much? Or with the married woman that he's having an affair with? Because if you do, I would have to address the issue in some way. I would not necessarily tell my mother anything about what my father was doing or not doing because they're no longer married. If I were going to be spending any significant amount of time with my father I would have to have some sort of conversation with him letting him know that I was aware of their relationship and the fact that she was married. I don't necessarily think that you have a right to ask him to change his behavior or do anything differently because he is an adult and is entitled to do as he wishes as long as it doesn't hurt you or a minor child. I would have a conversation with him letting him know that I in fact knew of the affair and that I thought it was morally wrong and then leave it up to him. I would wait to see what his response is and go from there. The situation you describe is definitely a very tough one and there are no easy answers. The good thing is is that you do not have to do anything at this very moment or even in the near future. You can sit back and decide before you do anything. But the problem is I don't think any amount of thinking about it is gonna allow you to come up with an easy solution. Yup, this is definitely a tough one end of the very least I would have to tell my dad that I knew about his affair and as I said whether not he chose to change it or end it is a whole other matter but at least I kept the lines of communication open. If the situation were slightly different and he were still married to my mom it wouldn't even be a close call. I would tell him that I knew of the affair and that he had acts amount of time to tell her or I would tell her myself. However, since they're divorced I don't see the same need there. What an excellent discussion and even with all that I wrote I'm not convinced that I adequately answered your question because that's how difficult it is. Until next time, I wish you all the best and happy Mylotting!

well, until now, i wasn`t in this situation . I even chill out the spirits from my house. My parents used to quarrel almost every week, some years ago, but now, i`m proud to announce that they arent`s in a quarrel hole months . Every couple has some fights sometimes. I think that it`s something normal when you`re in a little dispute. Sometimes when you conciliating it`s so sweet, sure, when you`re young, but i think that even when you`re a little older. i understan you so well, because i was suspecting my dad too. I saw an sms on his cellphone, from someone, who told him that she loves him. I didn`t told my mom, but i`ve taken that number, and send her a private sms, without my number, and i said someting..and after that, my dad was some days a little mad, but from then, in the house it`s was so quiet and my mom and dad were so different. Now they make jokes a lot, laugh, and more.

I've actually had the same thing happened to me. The only difference was that I didn't know my dad was having an affair at the time. When I was 9 years old my dad had taken my sister (who was 11 or 12 at the time) and I to Great America with him. Our mom had gone on a trip to Reno, I believe. Anyway, he had "accidentally" ran into one of his co-workers, which happened to be a woman and her 2 sons. As my family and I have ran into people we know there before I didn't think anything of it. We spent the rest of the day with them. I think it was sometime during the drive home that my dad might have commented to my sister and I not to say anything to our mother about it. I never was one to question things (back then). When we got home I was excited to see my mom and tell her of my day when it slipped out how we ran into one of my dad's co-workers. Oops. Needless to say his affair broke up my parents 20 year marriage. I can't really say that I regret blabbing though. My dad shouldn't have been cheating in the first place.

I would probably lie for my parents but there are limits. I wouldn't lie to one about the other. I wouldn't lie if they did something horribly illegal. They brought me up better than that and would want me to tell the truth. I couldn't lie to one of them if the other was cheating.

Let your father know that you are aware of the illicit affair. Maybe he would be embarrassed and try to stop it. How long do you think it could be kept from the husband, what do you think will he do to your father? Lying or covering up for your father will only work for a while, eventually the truth will come out, and maybe much damage would have been made already by then. But as children to our parents we can only tell them what is in our mind,(that's the end of our duty), it's up to them to do what they think they want. It will not be in our conscience anymore if they do not do the right thing despite what we want. Just pray that they will have wisdom and courage to do what is right.

thats very difficult position... I will be in a calm situation... cant say or xpect this..