Long term relationships & marriage
By stacyv81
@stacyv81 (5903)
United States
February 14, 2009 10:40am CST
I have developed a pet peeve with this generation in which I am living.
I think that people have a distorted look on marriage and not many value it as they did before.
It seems now that when there is an issue in a marriage or relationship, that everyone's first thought, and those you ask first word is "leave"...What??
Whatever happened to trying to make it work, doing everything you can to keep your family together....
Now I am not talking about abuse, or cheating, or deal breakers like that, I juse mean that all relationships will have issues
Those people who are together a life time isnt because they were happy all the time, or both perfect mates. They've mad mistakes, they've hurt each other, but they loved each other enough to endure the hard times and still choose to be together...that is what makes relationships work!
What are your opinions/.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
15 Feb 09
I'm sure those who divorce, like me, have plenty of "deal breakers" invovled. Just as I'm sure most people do all they can to save a marriage rather than divorce. But, once all has been tried and failed I see no reason to stay married to someone you don't love. I worked and worked for over 20 years to save my marriage. All I got in return was torment and misery. Sometimes its best just to walk away.
@stacyv81 (5903)
• United States
16 Feb 09
As I said people dont try
It seems that you tried all you could, this discussion is about people who dont try.
I comend you for trying, and you are the type of person this discussion pertains to, as far as trying as hard as could, You are one of the few that I wish there were more of in the world!
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
14 Feb 09
I also agree with you. Today so many people give up on relationships and marriage! It is like they don't care anymore or just don't want to really try and see if it works! To many people think they can have causal relationships and who cares if a baby is born? It is like no big deal! It is like noone these days have any morals and parents aren't teaching their childen ant good morals! It just isn't with marriage and long relationships! It also seems to me relationships and marriage can be thrown away like trash! It is a sad thing to see and I hope this changes in the furture!
@russotm (14)
• United States
14 Feb 09
we all agree. so what is the solution? was married for 19yrs before my 1st left. how many people do you know who can say they are on their 2nd, 3rd or 4th marriage? it's teaching all the young men to no longer be accountable. i'm married to one who has thrown in the towel on more than one marriage. any suggestions on making this his last would be great...
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
18 Feb 09
Hi stacyv81! I completely agree with you! My marriage has always been envied by my friends and I know I feel blessed having a good marriage. But it is not all bed of roses for me. I had my share of hurt, pain and disappointments and until now, both me and my husband still have issues once in awhile. Sometimes, I will think of leaving whenever I get so angry and hurt but I will always realized that our love for each other always hold us together. I love my husband and I think that the love I feel for him and the love I feel that he has for me is enough to keep us together and to survive the test of time. I just hope that if young people will really think hard what commitment really means and what love really is, maybe they will think many times before breaking their marriage. Just my thoughts.
Take care and have a great day!
lovelots..faith
@GemmaR (8517)
•
14 Feb 09
Being a really strict Christian, I don't believe in divorce. I believe that if you are married, you should be with that person for the rest of your life. And if you don't think it's the person for you, then you shouldn't get married at all.
You should be able to sort out most problems in a relationship without having to call it a day. I agree that people these days are far too quick to throw in the towel when something goes wrong. Divorce is becoming so acceptable these days that it just seems like the easy option.
You shouldn't make rash decisions like that, or you may live to regret them.
@smartie0317 (1610)
• United States
14 Feb 09
I agree and I don't. I.e, I agree some marriage really could be saved or worked out, but both people are too lazy or too selfish to do what it takes. i also, believe, however, sometimes it's good divorce is so easy. I see some people say we're engaged, after knowing each other 6 months or so. How do you even KNOW someone after 6 months? 
So, when I see them down the road, and they're marriage is failing, I think the only solution is divorce. So, I believe it's a good mixx of couples that could have worked wanting an easy solution and couples who should have never got married in the first place. To be honest, I think it should be harder to be legally married. I think less people would jump; into it if it was mad harder.
So, when I see them down the road, and they're marriage is failing, I think the only solution is divorce. So, I believe it's a good mixx of couples that could have worked wanting an easy solution and couples who should have never got married in the first place. To be honest, I think it should be harder to be legally married. I think less people would jump; into it if it was mad harder. 
@daneg33 (1128)
• Canada
14 Feb 09
I agree with you. People are too quick to throw in the towel and walk away. Every relationship starts off with the "lust period" and then settles into a less exciting day to day partnership. It seems no one wants to work things out anymore, it is easier to leave and start a new relationship with someone else. About 30 years ago, the only way you could get a divorce was to prove that your spouse was either committing adultery or physically or mentally abusing you. Now you can get a divorce based on a one year separation, no questions asked. Maybe it should be more difficult to get a divorce. More people would be inclined to try to work on their issues instead of giving up so easily.
