Valentine's Day… The difference between being alone and been lonely
By wheel416
@wheel416 (1019)
Canada
February 14, 2009 5:19pm CST
Well my fellow Mylotters, today is Valentine's Day and I do not have that special someone or significant other spouse or partner. What ever you want to call them, but does that mean I'm unhappy? No! I'm quite content with my life at the moment and I'm not looking for a significant relationship. If it happens, then it's meant to be but I'm not desperate to find that special person.
I am in fact the happiest that I have ever been and if and when a relationship should present itself I will be happy but in the meantime I'm more than satisfied with my friends and family. Today I have spent the day alone but that's not because I had no one else to be with the but because I chose to be alone. I'm quite happy to be on my own and spend time by myself. I think there's a big difference between being alone and being lonely.
What about you, are you alone or lonely on this Valentine's day?
This discussion was prompted by so many other discussions that I read on here about people being sad because they do not have a relationship and it's Valentine's Day. Yes an intimate relationship as a special relationship but it's only one type of friendship there are many others.
What do you think, are you alone or lonely this Valentine's Day?
Thanks for your responses in advance and as always, happy Mylotting!
5 people like this
19 responses
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
14 Feb 09
I am lucky that Valentines day is not a big thing here in Australia, most us think it is just another money making venture for the stores, anyway i would rather someone treat me nice all year round rather than just one day of the year but i guess some people would feel a little left out and alone at this time, I feel sad for these people, I guess it could be a hurtful time in countries where it is a big thing.
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
14 Feb 09
Hi there lilac, I didn't know you are from Australia. In a perfect world I would like to visit sometime. Since I am in Canada it would be a very long plane ride. I think like you for the most part, Valentine's Day is just another day for them to cash in on commercialism and consumerism.
Thanks for the response, and happy Mylotting!
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
15 Feb 09
Well said wheel! 
I am not in a relationship now through my own choice. I am perfectly happy with my situation after years spent thinking that things were perfect and would go on forever. It works for some and some think it's working only to find out later that for some reason or other it's not how they thought it was.
I do not hold a grudge about oast relationships. They were meant tobe at the time but now I am aware that I like things how they at the moment. I like being able to do what I want to do certain that it is not causing another person to say they are happy doing it too when maybe they are not but they don't say so at the time.
Valentines Day has become a commercial event and has lost all the real meaning that it had years back when I was younger. I had no problems at all in being alone yesterday and I worked the evening shift too perfectly happy to do so because I did what I wanted to do. Had I been part of a oouple I doubt it would have been easy to explain that, with the present situation, it was actually better to work rather than celebrate something which can be celebrated, when neccessary, any day of the year.
I'm happy with things the way they are and the only thing that makes me sad is seeing friends who are not alone but probably less happy than me.
I am not in a relationship now through my own choice. I am perfectly happy with my situation after years spent thinking that things were perfect and would go on forever. It works for some and some think it's working only to find out later that for some reason or other it's not how they thought it was.
I do not hold a grudge about oast relationships. They were meant tobe at the time but now I am aware that I like things how they at the moment. I like being able to do what I want to do certain that it is not causing another person to say they are happy doing it too when maybe they are not but they don't say so at the time.
Valentines Day has become a commercial event and has lost all the real meaning that it had years back when I was younger. I had no problems at all in being alone yesterday and I worked the evening shift too perfectly happy to do so because I did what I wanted to do. Had I been part of a oouple I doubt it would have been easy to explain that, with the present situation, it was actually better to work rather than celebrate something which can be celebrated, when neccessary, any day of the year.
I'm happy with things the way they are and the only thing that makes me sad is seeing friends who are not alone but probably less happy than me.
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
17 Feb 09
Indeed
The sad thing is though that instead of improving, things seem to be getting more complicated, especially where relationships are concerned. The more we progress the more we seem unable to 'live happily ever after' and that's sad 
The sad thing is though that instead of improving, things seem to be getting more complicated, especially where relationships are concerned. The more we progress the more we seem unable to 'live happily ever after' and that's sad @wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
16 Feb 09
Yes, I certainly agree with you. Just because you're in relationship that doesn't necessarily guarantee you are going to be happy. In fact I have seen some people that were downright miserable! 
the problem I think is that people don't know they are before they become part of a two-some and so cannot manage a relationship because they are just grasping at straws. Perhaps that the problem, people wait for a Valentine's Day which is only one day of the year, to tell the people around them that they love them. This world is certainly a strange place. 
the problem I think is that people don't know they are before they become part of a two-some and so cannot manage a relationship because they are just grasping at straws. Perhaps that the problem, people wait for a Valentine's Day which is only one day of the year, to tell the people around them that they love them. This world is certainly a strange place. 1 person likes this
@nzalheart (2338)
• India
15 Feb 09
Yeah! I am alone but not lonely. But surely some moments I feel like I don't have any special person like that, but that didn't bother me too much. For the whole day, I remained in the home just idle. And only at the evening, I had to attend some meetings and my time passed.
You are right, there is a great difference between being alone and lonely. Some people wish to be alone, and sometimes me too.
@Aydinito26 (8)
• United States
15 Feb 09
Well, i do agree with you. You dont have to be in a relationship to be happy. I was not alone on valentine's day, i spent it with my boyfriend and my son. But i know that being alone and lonely have different meanings. cause i could be sitting right by my boyfriend and still feel lonely, if we're fighting or our relationship just isn't dont good. this is actkually the first year ever for me to have someone on vday. and really i didn't mind being without a valentine i spent the day like i normally would.
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
16 Feb 09
Hi there, and welcome to Mylot! I see you are a relative newcomer I hope you enjoy yourself. There are some really neat people here. I could not agree with you more, some of the loneliest times in my life have actually been when there were many people. The problem was that I did not feel I could connect with any of them. I'm glad to hear that you had a good day. Until next time, happy Mylotting!
@neha2k94u (406)
• India
15 Feb 09
I would like to make the difference:
Being alone is the reality,we are alone and we'll be, we fall in love coz we are afraid of our loneliness and we want to forget our loneliness in somebody.
Being lonely is a curse,
Being aware of our aloneness is freedom from crowd,from the Other.
N I was alone this Valentine's, Enjoyed it.
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
14 Feb 09
I dont have a significant other either.I'm like you very content.I am not spending valentines day alone I have my three children with me.We went out and had dinner it was very enjoyable.
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
15 Feb 09
Well, you are not exactly alone, you have your kids! I do know what you mean though, you don't have a partner. That's what I'm talking about though, we can have fun with other people. It does not have to be that boyfriend or girlfriend.
Thanks for your response and I'm glad you had a great Valentine's Day too. Happy Mylotting!
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
15 Feb 09
valentines day is WAY overplayed here in North America to be honest, at least in my opinion. if you dont spend $100 or more on your beloved, forget it!
all i bought my hubby was a package of cinnamon hearts and he bought me a pair of $3- earrings!
he had a meeting at church so i was alone most of the day anyways. we will go out for dinner later as i want to take my mom because my dad just passed away,
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
15 Feb 09
Ohhh, cinnamon hearts! They're one of my favorite candies! I think I'm gonna have to go and get me some tomorrow when they're on sale after Valentine's Day! I'm cheap too!
My condolences to you and your family on the loss of yourfather. I'm sorry to hear that, but it will be nice to spend time with your mom. I wish you all the best and until next time, take care.
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
15 Feb 09
Hi, your discussion brought to mind a favorite quotation:
"You are only lonely when you are alone, but that doesn't happen because you always have yourself. If you like yourself, you will never get lonely" - Buddha
Right, there's a difference between alone and lonely. I enjoy being alone; it doesn't mean I'm lonely - I am happy with my own company! So have a great weekend!
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
15 Feb 09
Hi there Lazee. I have never heard that quote before but I definitely like it. It amazes me the number of people who are not comfortable being alone because they are not comfortable with themselves. They need someone else around to distract them from themselves. Perhaps I used to be like that but now I'm more than happy by myself and it sounds like you are too. Happy posting!
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
14 Feb 09
Hi wheel! I am neither one this Vealtines Day but I am glad to hear you are positive about this. There have been many occasions I was just alone and by no means lonely. I think people put to much emphasis on that significant other when they don't have one and don't take time to appriciate what they have around them. I'm glad you do.Happy Valentines day my friend! Enjoy your time.
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
14 Feb 09
Hi there Jen,
Now, don't get me wrong there have been times where I have been alone and very unhappy. However, that is not the case now and it doesn't have to be for others either. In fact I think people should be comfortable with who they are as an individual before they even consider becoming part of a couple.
Thanks for the response and I hope you have a great Valentine's Day as well!
@saichandtalluri (1486)
• India
15 Feb 09
I feel alone means no one is with us at that particular time but lonely means we are mentally feeling alone and we want some company for us.
@gunagohan (3414)
• India
14 Feb 09
well, its a great topic...
i spent the day alone...i was lonely yesterday..'cause i dont have a girl friend...i did not feel for it..im not alone, i have a beautiful family, though not enough friends, i enjoy with my family ...i dont find time toserach for a girl friend..im supposed to marry a girl whom my parents wanted me to marry..and according to me valentines day is not that special for me...it may very special to others those who have a pair..since im single i dont concentrate on this day...any way my like rocks im 19 and im enjoying my life as a single, finally i was lonely during valentines day...happy mylotting..
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
15 Feb 09
Well, you still have lots of some to find that special someone. As you say you are only 19 and so I think you should be enjoying the single life.
I am sorry to hear that you were lonely though, I guess that happens to us all at some point. Thanks for the comment and Happy Mylotting!
@mommylicious (2)
• Philippines
15 Feb 09
Valentines today is a special day for everyone not only couples but to every people in the world. Even though me and my husband were not together to celebrate it but we still have a communication and greeted each other in this special occassion and that what's makes me happy.
@unuzzz (1273)
• Indonesia
15 Feb 09
Hi wheel416,
I'm lonely on this valentine day, again
Hahahaa.. Don't ask the number
I've been alone for years, hard to explain why
I want to be in a relationship, but the right time hasn't come
I'm not yet ready for it .. :-)
I still have some stuffs inside to be settled, before I can start a relationship
And I'm still looking for the right person
My friend often make jokes on me about this, hahaa
But its ok ..
I admit sometimes I feel lonely,
But I guess I'm still lucky to have friends around to comfort me so that I don't feel lonely
I'm preparing myself for a relationship
And cannot wait for it .. XD
For a lover, everyday is a valentine
XD
If I found someone tomorrow, then it'll be my valentine day
Hahaa, thanks !!
I like this discussion ..
@Vivianh (331)
• China
15 Feb 09
Hi,wheel!I was alone on that day but I didn't feel lonely.For people who is in a relationship,this day is very wonderful or some else.But for else like me,don't have a right person,it's just a day with more roses.And I agree with you,it's very great to spend time by myself.
@dorisday1971 (5657)
• Philippines
15 Feb 09
One can be alone but not lonely, and one can be lonely even if not alone. A person who is not attached to somebody else maybe happy and even happier than a person who is in troubled relationship. . . There are people who have a (in)significant other but not happy with his/her partner. . . . happiness cannot be measured by being with or without a partner.
@fluffysue (1482)
• United States
15 Feb 09
Hi, I am glad you are happy, and it's good to know people realize you do not need to be in a relationship to be happy. I also don't mind spending time by myself. I think sometimes it's nice not to always have someone around, actually.
One of my friends had a get-together at his place for his single friends yesterday, so I wasn't alone. But if I was I would have found something to do by myself, and it would have been fine.
@judith1123 (126)
• Philippines
15 Feb 09
i am alone coz i have no one to date with but i am not lonely coz i have my friends i hanged out with this valentine's..i am also happy being single but i am not closing any doors..tnx
