what judge in their right mind would give custody to this mother?
By shawnk20
@shawnk20 (38)
United States
February 15, 2009 12:17pm CST
what judge in their right mind would hive custody to this mother? my ex and i went to court for child custody. she had nothing on me that would make me look bad at all. she was living with her parents at the time and i had my own place. one of my problems with her is that she was trying to give my son up for adoption behind my back. when i found out i told her that she wasn't going to give him up we made him and we will take care of him. i told the judge that and the lawyer asked her about it. she said that she was kidding about it yet she was online and calling adoption agencies to find some one to take him. after the court case the i felt that the judge was crazy. thats ok because she has been breaking the court order and i have proof so if anything happens to my son or she slips up she will go to jail and i will get full custody. it takes a good parent to take up for their child i feel and i respect them for doing so.
3 people like this
12 responses
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
16 Feb 09
The sooner she slips and goes to jail the better for the child. I would not really like any child to stay with a lady who’s its own mother yet is trying to give it up for adoption. Without being judgmental in any way, I just don’t think this lady is ready for motherhood. Wonder why is wants to keep custody of the child, though? Social pressure, family pressure, money…what? If you have decided to give up a child for adoption, why not give it to its own father!
1 person likes this
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
15 Feb 09
I don't think she can give up your son to an adoption agency unless she has your signature on the paperwork and it being a serious matter she wouldn't be able to take the papers home and forge your signature it would be something that the agency who adopts the child would need to witness you two signing. If she didn't want the child why doesn't she just give you full custody?
1 person likes this
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
15 Feb 09
Lately it seems that the trend is for joint custody with one parent having residential custody. I wonder if he didn't do it that way since you both wanted full custody and seemed adversarial. Keep compiling your evidence and watch for the safety of your son. If you are sure that she is doing something bad, have a female friend call DCFS on her anonymously. They will investigate. Even if you don't get custody out of it, they will have a file on her and be watching her. That way when she screws up again, you will have a better chance of getting your son back.
Good luck!
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
16 Feb 09
Usually I would go with joint custody, but if it is proven that the mother is not a good mother, and that she abuses the child, etc. you will get your son. The trouble is that judges feel that because a woman gave birth to a child, she is automatically considered a good mother, more so then a woman who adopts a child or has never given birth. So you are up against a cultural tradition.
However now the law is that if a woman wants to give her child up for adoption, that they also have to notify the birth father. So I would suggest if you have not done so already to have a DNA test. I wish you luck.
1 person likes this
@jshekhar (1562)
• India
16 Feb 09
Normally, it is believed that a mother can take care of a child better than a father. This is the primary reason why all the courts are a bit biased towards the mothers. I think your case is somewhat the same but if you can prove that she has no intention of raising up the child, you will get full custody.
I really hope it happens soon.
All the best!
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
15 Feb 09
Everyone knows your the better parent. btw: I'm sending you a friend request. You should know who I am, if you don't look at your first friend on here.
1 person likes this
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
28 Oct 09
The court system is totally messed up and it always seems to lean toward the wife instead of the husband,and all a woman has to do is cry rape,and even if she does not know the man he goes to jail,it is really sad,and I do not see why they gave her custody, especially since because all of the stuff she did that was against the court,and I wish you would have gotten full custody,Happy Mylotting.
@lisa0502 (1724)
• Canada
15 Feb 09
I definately think that a mother like that will eventually lose her child. It is nice to hear that some dads take anactive role in their childs life. I hope all goes well with you. Also she can not adopt out your child without your consent. So if she tries then you for sure can get your child. Good Luck with this and I hope you get your child soon.
1 person likes this
@KatieDidit (989)
• United States
15 Feb 09
Document, document, document. The best thing for a child of course is two parents who love him and can get along. BUT keep a calendar and a journal. List the good things like every time you see him and what you did...go to the park? Go to the library? Put it down in writing. List the bad things....she didn't let you have him as agreed and why...was he sick?
If you ever need to go to court to get full custody, it can be admissible. It will show your involvement and that you're not an absent Dad, and it will document all the reasons why you believe you should have full custody.
1 person likes this
@phoenix79 (302)
• United States
24 Mar 09
All I have to say is keep your head up. Keep fighting for your son no matter how hopeless it looks. Also do not try to be the one that tries to be nice. I can tell you for sure that there will be no kid gloves on the other side. One day you will win the day. If you want to be with your son I know you will find a way.
Blessed be
