Question About Name Change And Second Or Third Marriages.

Hmm. I guess it depends on the situation. I wouldn't want to share my husband's name with an ex of his, but if she kept his name so it matched the children's name I could kind of see it. But only if they had a decent relationship and she wasn't totally evil. I think the name change is outdated, and a pain in the butt, but I don't like hyphenated names either, and who's name would you choose for the kids if the wife didn't take the husband's name? It's easier if everyone matches.

However I do not mind the last names I think the better question would be how about the first and last name. My exhusband and I had been married for a long time and I did not plan on remarrying but wanted to keep my daughters last name because she liked it. However my husband went and married another Brandee so now she had the first and last name the same. So if I had been in her case I would not have changed mine I don't think and I would want to know why my husband wanted to marry someone with the same name. Guess he wouldnt ever get in trouble like that.

Hi Hon When I married in 1980 you just did it and few thought about it.. besides I wanted my name to be the same as my children. I'm still me no matter of the name! xoxoxoxo

Hello danishcanadian! I would love to change my name although my husband's ex -wife is still carrying it. I love my husband and all that matters is us. He would love to see me carrying his name too and that he is happy everytime I use it so I would give that happiness to him because if he's happy, I am happy too.

i have never been in this situation, but i think i would like to take my husband's name in a first marriage, if it is both his and my first one. if we ended up terminating the marriage, i would probably revert back to my maiden name, and keep that even if i got remarried. the name i was born with will always be meaningful to me, and i will be proud to have it, married or not.

Hello, when i divorced my first husband i took back my family name. even though it made my last name different from my young children They were 3 and 1 at the time of my divorce, and later on it became a big deal with them because their name was different. Their father chose not to have any contact with them, so they did not know him. They did not understand why i did not change theirs when i changed mine back, It caused my children a lot of unnecessary pain until they grew old enough to understand fully. If i had to do it again i would have kept my ex-husbands name until i got married again. Just for the simple fact is that it caused my children pain for a short time. When you marry you have the choice to take your husbands name, or you can keep your given name, or if your new husband agrees he can take your name. It just depends on the way you agree to do things. The man that im married to right now has a ex-wife that chose to keep his name at the time of their divorce, and it does not bother me at all.

well I don't even know what the law in quebec is for this, if you got married after 1982 you cannot use your husband's name at all you have to keep your maiden name, I carry my x husband's name because I was married before the law came out so I can be law still do that, I never inquired if I were to marry matt what would happen it wouldn't be right to keep my ex's name, but then I I can't use his, so I guess I have to go back to my maiden name or get a legal name change I have no idea.

Yes, that's always seemed a bit unfair to me too. I've noticed a few people just put their husband's surname in front of their own maiden surname, and hyphenate it. They surely got it right when they said "It's a Man's World". I don't really find it "disgusting" as such but I feel it's degrading for a woman to have to change her family name. That way, the lineage is lost with the daughters as they get married and if a family doesn't have a son, then the name disappears and their ancestry with it. Yup... it's totally unfair, but then a man wouldn't think of the ancestry thing, would they? ha ha. Brightest Blessings, my friend.

Most of the divorced women know, even the ones with children, change back to their maiden name once they are divorced. What honor is to have your ex-husband's last name? That makes no sense to me at all. I am married, but I use my last name. I don't use my husband's last name.

Well, if you have kids it makes it easier for everyone in the household to carry the same last name. It was a choice for me to carry my husband's last name ,but I don't have to worry about any ex-wife having the same last name as me. The U.S. is a country full of paperwork ,so is really a matter of convenience.

We have discussed this before, but I have never thought of myself as anyone's property or belonging and IF he ever thought that, it might be the end of the marriage!! I have been married and divorced twice, as you well know, and only saw the taking of the names as tradition and nothing more. I could just as easily kept my maiden name or be called Smith or Jones, and it wouldn't matter. It was the relationships that were important to me and not what my name was at the time. The strangest thing for me was that when I married the second time, I no longer had the same name as my children since they were all from my first marriage. But a little explanation always staightened that out. All the name is to me is a continuation of a custom that has existed for centuries and if you feel the need to change it, that is fine. I just never saw that need or felt that I had to do any different.

I can understand if a divorced woman keeping their ex's last name if they had kids so she could share the same last name instead of having to explain why the differences BUT when there's no kids then the exwife should take her maiden name back. That's where I made my mistake. I have no kids and yet I kept my ex's last name because I didn't want to have to go to social security office and the dmv to have my names changed or spend the money to do so so I opted out of changing my name back to my maiden name and when I married my husband 17 years ago, my marriage certificate has my ex's last name on it. I really really regret that decision in a big way!

I have no problem with the name change if and when i get married...however....if i got divorced my name would be going back to my maiden name not staying the same as his. I dont feel its treating a woman like property...and i'm fine with people opting not to change their name OR opting to hyphenate the names.

I guess it depends on what kind of tradition you were raised on. If you don't want to take his last name because some other woman has it and didn't change back to her maiden name then keep yours. I was married before but my wife passed away so she kept them name, its one of those personal choices. Do what makes you feel good about yourself and your husband. A woman isn't property just because she takes a man's last name.

For me only, I find marriage a waste of time. But if I were to be forced to get married, that's the only way I would do it, I would have a trditiobal marriage. That would mean I would take his name.

less my first name sounds good with what my new last name would be, chances are I wouldn't change, unless it was important to my future husband. I have however, thought about hyphenating my name (current last name-new last name) but with regards to how i'd feel sharing a last name with his ex-wives, to me id be like having the same last name as his mother, father, brother or any other relatives. it wouldn't matter much to me

I think it's a personal choice. The first time I was married, I didn't take his name. I liked my maiden name and so I kept it. With my second marriage I took my Hubby's last name. He has an ex-wife who still has his last name. I can't do anything about it but I did want to take his name b/c when I got married this time I wanted that option. If he ever passes away, I'll probably take back my maiden name. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]

I currently have my exhusband's name. I will hopefully have my boyfriends last name. I chose to change my name and I chose NOT to change my name after the divorce. It doesn't bother me sharing a name with the new wife because I am most certainly not the Mrs. and haven't been for a long time. It bothered me more sharing a last name with his mother who was horrible to me. I don't really care what she thinks and she doesn't care about me. She's a perfectly lovely woman. It's him I don't like. I warned her to be careful around him and I think thats the most negative thing I ever said to her. We don't have children together so she doesn't even have to worry about that. Personally I think if she was thinking too much about me in such a way as worrying about my last name I'd be worried about her relationship. It's a personal choice for a name change. The real reason for it initially was to determine lineage and rights of land and birth claims. Now, with our extended and large ideas of family it doesn't have the same meaning. But think a second. Those who search their lineage and last name to see what "clan" they belong to in scotland or whether they were related to someone famous in the past. Without those name changes, without that ability to track who was family and who wasn't, you might never have known.

I agree with u that changing a name will not change the whole thing. But i don't know why the some people believe in that. Although we are in the 20th century its not fare to change our name for sake of marriage i don't believe in that.