how to heal a broken heart when you're the one who caused it?

i feel you. firstly its never easy to get over a breakup. i think everyone of us going through this phase would have a hard time and may take awhile before they will be able to completely move on. while some were able to move on, find another love and start a new relationship, there are also some who may develop a phobia in getting into another relationship. the fear of getting hurt all over again and starting all over again, the breaking of trust..you name it... if you have to see the person everyday, moving on would be difficult because every time you see that person, you are reminded of the pain. so it really helps to keep your space, stay away from that person. if you are working in the same company, then just keep your distance. hard it may seem but it is really vital so that you won't be reminded of the pain always. it also helps to meet lots of people surround yourself with people who are positive that would help boost your mood. going out on parties, keeping yourself busy is a big help than moping around the house and being bitter. the moving on process is always difficult so it also relies on your cooperation so you have to work hard. remember the saying, if at first you fail, try and try again. never ever give up. stay out of your shell. see the world in different light. i know its easier said than done, but you'll never see an improvement in your life if you refuse to try something new at least. start small, start it now and who knows before you knew it, you are probably happier without that person.

Stay busy at things he doesn't do. Be in a group of friends if possible every time your paths cross so you're talking to them and there are no awkward moments between you. There is no need for you to feel badly about breaking up with him, it would hurt him worse if you were to continue for years and end up being miserable together. I'm sorry he's hurt but it shows what a good person you are that you are concerned about him.

I have had this kind of tribulation so many times and I think you already have your own ways to cure that type of "disease" but the only thing is you can't decide for which one would be the perfect solution for you because of the great love feeling still deep in your blood and don't want to pull out or off from the circle. I mean, you can't accept the predicament and keep on asking yourself for why it had happened to you, it is not your wish either. Actually, not your mistake or weakness for you being that way or taking "island" step. Now, the first step is to "cure" you sadness and to know what is sadness. Sadness able to drag you to depression. If I were in your shoes, I will apply this life philosophy ~ "Acceptance Is The Best Healer" ~ where, in my previous time I accepted that she's not mine. If she is only one for me, why she can make move to other guy?. Secondly, I'll let her out from my blood, nerve and mind by focusing my total level of energy to my work and prepare my new life by enhancing my weakness in the past time. Thirdly, I must understand the nature of life like what Bunsen's Theory said; high pressure will go to low pressure. Maybe during relationship period of time, I have created a high level of pressure which I failed to determine in myself that made her looked for low pressure zone. The perfect indicator was, last time she doesn't want to reflect eye-to-eye during my previous discussion or chatting with her. Finally, I found one formula that really made me happy till now, I won't look for ~ to be a winner but I want to be a gainer. I must remember that love is vulnerable to dissatisfaction and disintegration factors. That is why, to my definition of love ~ love is Lost Of Valuable Energy. Once feel that kind of lost, meaning that I am in love.

"I know they say time heals all wounds but who needs time when you're heart broken?" - i am sure you will take back your words when some more time passes by, even when looking into his eyes, your pain would defntly lessen with time - i can assure you about this because i have exprncd it, dont want to say anything more as nothing can reduce your pain at this point of time - just remember the magical phrase - "Time is a very good healer"

Hi,yina24,my heart starts sting while reading your post.Most people are helpless about their broken hearts when they say time heals all wounds.I prefer to think on the bright side.As to the case in your discussion,you'd better avoid seeing the person who you've broken off with.Out of sight,out of mind.Be cool and dont take everything too seriously.Too much sadness isnt gonna help.Try to cheer up and make preparation for our next challenge.