What should I do?

hey brother, i feel your pain. let it go. there are plenty of girls out there, not 1000's of miles away who are better for you. I had a similar experience. when I was in college, i began dating this girl from iceland. we were together during the duration of the school year, but she had to go home to iceland during the summer. while she was gone, i registered her for her classes, i prepared all her paper work, and did everything to get here ready for the school year. when she came back to college, she was distant and finally i found out that she no longer wanted to date me. the next day, it was apparent that she began dating one of my friends in our circle. i warned the guy that she was going to do the same thing she did to me with him. he denied me. next summer, same deal, and then shortly after that, we found out she was engaged to the guy she dated for 3 years prior to coming to college here in the US. This is what she told me..."dating is like trying out cloths, some fit, some dont. some fit for a while but you grow out of it" I told her she was retarded and left the house while she packed and tried to figure out what to do. Trust me bro, it aint worth your time. here is a stat that might help you. 25% of people you meet will hate you no matter how nice you are to them 25% of people you meet will hate you but eventually come around to liking you 25% of people you meet will like you but eventually come around to hating you 25% of people you meet will stick by you through and through that girl just fits into one of the 25 %. Focus your energy on finding people who will respect you enough not to put you through this. You have to have the mentality of HER LOSS. She doesn't want me? Tough, she doesn't know what she is missing. I know its hard because the love you feel can be blinding. But if she truly loved you, she wouldn't have done this to you right?. MOVE ON brother. Good Luck.

Well, first you have to find out whether she really loved you or not. You should ask her right away. If she did and still she willingly got engaged to the other person then she is just playing you. However if she got engaged against her wishes, meaning her parents forced her into this, then you should fight for her no matter what. You should fight for the girl you love and WHO LOVES YOU BACK AND IS NOT PLAYING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS AND HEART.

In my opinion i think i am seeing a red flag but didn't mean i'm already judging her In fairness to her she had admitted it at least but with regards to your feelings my question is have you already meet your gf in person? If not so then it would be really hard to tell the true feeling unless you laid your eyes on each other in person. I can say that because i am also in a long distance relationship and i know the difference. It just happen that for me, in the internet since the first time i meet my fiance i was very sure that he is the one though still both of us have doubts and fears as well didn't know what to expect til the time we have meet in person, that's the time we finally became sure that we are really meant for each other because the magic was there...(Can't help smiling whenever i remember it, it make me feel like in heaven..lol, it's like im in my teenage years hehe..but its very lovey feeling)Anyway getting back to your feelings, if you do really love her one thing i could advice is do prove it in action. Go come to see her and prove yourself. May the best man win. Who knows she feel the same as yours and she is just confused with her feelings now since your far away and the guy she is telling you is her bf is near. We all like to be near with our special one and we always longing for it. So come see her and see it for yourself. That's if your willing to invest money and time on traveling. Its taking chances though. Filipino women can easily fall in love so lay your cards, who knows you are meant for each other and besides you know your limits and boundaries so i'm pretty sure you can handle failures. There are loads of wonderful filipina and they will love you for life but of course watch out for some, be cautious too because there are some that are scammers that ruin the image of many good filipina women. Anyway its a case to case basis, so i know if that feeling of yours is genuine you will surely do things just to prove it and win her heart. By the way, from where is she in the Philippines?

YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY NOT FIGHT FOR HER. She was dating someone else the entire 5 months you were together, this is the only evidence you need to prove that you must not pursue this person anymore. Love is a two way street...if she loved you then she would not have done that to you...SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU, so move on honey...there are plenty more fish in the sea. Your writing shows that you are an intelligent and sensitive guy I am sure there are many young ladies out there who will be willing to give you the love you deserve if you give them a chance. Good luck.

It doesn't sound worth the trouble. I know it may seem hard on you but if she was that decietful just imagine having a go at it again. I just say no let her go. ONe thing a lot of women hate is men mopping around over them. DOnt crawl or beg. Just let it go. Stop any contact. No calling, messaging. or writing. I hope you have the strength to do all this. GOod luck.

Some say fight for what you love but many also say that always prefer to choose the one who loves you rather the one whom you love. I am saying this to you because as i can make out that the girl really does not love you,although i cant find out what was her intention behind being with you for so many months. i really cant understand why was she with you when she already had another boyfriend. Well i think there is no use discussing that. i would just ask you some questions..Can you be happy with her lifelong without your love being reciprocated by her? Even if she comes back what is the guarantee that she will not cheat you again in life? Can you stand another breakup from her in future? I agree you love her a lot but i would not suggest you to fight for her because if she is the same you in future you will never get happiness...Instead look around..There will definitely be someone else who will be ready to sacrifice everything for you,for whom you will be the most important.GO FOR THAT GIRL.

I would let her go and be very grateful that you were not her fiance. Can you imagine marrying someone who had been expressing love for another the whole time you were together? I am sure it hurts but I really think from the sounds of it that she has been decietful to you. Did you ever actually meet her in person?

I have a same problem as you but better than you are that we are in one country, though the distance between us is very long, we also have chances to see each other every two months. Last week my gf told me that she must go back hometown for the reason of her parents and as a result, we would never see each other!I was very upset to hear this news and ask for her leaving with me. She refused and went away. After several days, I am clear that the love between long distance would have no satisfid result, so I must give up! This is my advise, you can take is as a refer! Have a good day!

all things about love,are hard to say who is right and who is wrong!i have a same expeciness! i know,not matter who she choose,if she feel happiness,i think that is ok!

No, you need to move on. I don't mean to be harsh, but she does NOT love you and clearly never did. If she had, she wouldn't have cheated on you, especially not for 5 months. This girl is not worth your trouble and you should move on to find someone who will treat you with the respect that you deserve.

i think you should not do,though you live her ,you should give her happiness,if you don`t ,please give the chance to others,distance is dangerous to your love.

I can feel your pain. Me and my boyfriend is also in a long distance relationship and after a year of being away he's still taking me for granted. But I'm still waiting for him. Fight for her if she still gives you reason to but if not then I think you should let go and try to find someone you deserve.

Hello Alex18, I am from Philippines too but as for what i can say to you is to better not fight for this girl. Why in the first place she did not tell you that she had a boyfriend for 5 months that you and her were talking. What is her motive of keeping you and the other guy for? she is not fair in doing this to you and to think that you will also get hurt. Before i married my husband who is a foreigner also, both of us are honest with each other and we are not in another relationship so to make things clearer, if a person is not honest to you, you don't want to end up with her. Trust is very important in a long distance relationship. Before i got married with my husband, we are friends for 4 years, got engaged for almost 8 months before we are married. So we known each other very much. We exchange postal letters, we call each other, we exchange gifts with each other and my parents knew him and i talk to his parents too. I think you are still young. Better study and finish College first or if you are already working, it is still best to wait for the right girl to come. Prayer is important in a relationship as long as you obey the will of God and seek God first in your life.

HI Alex18, I have jsut read your post. I have had the same happen to me. I have a girlfriend in the Phills. we have a long distance relatioship and like you I did a lot for her. We e-mailed each other, letter mailed eatch other, and even talked on the phone. I also went to visit here in the Phills twice. I realy thought we had something good togher, but as it turned out she had a boyfrined in her contry and got married. I fould this out with the help with the help of some of my on-line frineds. The last time I went I poposed marrige to her and she turned me down. but I thought she was jsut not ready and woudl be willing latter. but I fould out otherwise. My advice to you is to jsut let this other girl go and find someone easle. Also you should be carful about contact with forein girls becase there is so many scams in various kinds out there. good luck to you.

The fact that she did not tell you that she's already engaged while having an affair with you is a testament that she cannot be trusted. Long distance relationships need trust and open communication. With cyber relationship, you will know the real person in her. Don't waste your time, find somebody better.

Try to know if she really mean what she said. Girls sometimes out of disappointment or maybe if there's something they were not pleased would say things not true just to hurt you. So talk to her if it's really true ask her parents then if you found out that it's true, post it again for our next advise for the best thing for you to do. I am following your love story. she's supposed to come to the U.S. on December right? You'd found it, however that you have to get married in 3 months in order for her not to be sent back to the Phils. and that's your problem last time. I guess she was quite disappointed only, that she has to tell you things she don't really mean. I wish the best for you.

definitely a NO, it is cheating, cheating is never acceptable. I used to live in Asia and my hubby is in US, we got seperated for almosat 2 years, he came visit me couple times during 2 years and we could keep in a very good relationship and we di a lot of lot of work to get ourselves together. There is not a question how much you love her but she cheated on you, even now you go chase her and give her everything you have, she did cheated, it is the fact. You never when she is going to do something like that again and hurt your feeling. That's what I think. I hope you the best! :-)

Hi! I think you must consider the fact that she can no longer be in love with you if she has another bf. I don't mean to be rude, but I think reality hits hard in these situations... I know many people who have long distance relationships and honestly the majority of them never lasted very long. But, still, some of them are well succeeded. I think that's just a matter of thinking if that's what you really want and if you're willing to suffer the inconvenients of dating this girl for the time you're apart from each other. Maybe it's worth the time you're not with her, because if in the end she realizes that she loves you truly too, the reconciliation will be stronger than ever. Greetings!

ok, lets get this straight. 1. you have been with her for 5 months, and she had a bf for 5 months 2. She said she love you.. but was now engaged.. i assume she loved her current boyfriend, future to-be husband as well? 3. You wrote her a letter, a love letter, 6 pages long.. what does it symbolize? your love to her? and what do you expect her parents to do after your 6 pages long letter? No offense, but your letter doesn't appears to be a good example of how much you love her.. i wrote more then 6 pages long in mylot altogether.. =) 4. It's a long distance relationship, everyone knows that its hard to maintain such a relationship. I mean, through purely phone calls, the internet can maintain a relationship? I will say yes, but hard.. A relationship is easier to be kept with constant meet-ups.. 5. She is engaged, what else you want to fight for? Give it up... Cheers Time will cure everything, trust me, i just break up with my GF, and dont beg for love..

i am from the philippines, and sometimes filipinas tend to marry and choose to be with our own, sometimes because of pressure from relatives or sometimes for being so negative of those around her or she herself does not believe that things will work out for you. i feel for you for what happened but i don't think that you should, you're still young and eventually you'll find someone who will value all the love that you have to give, sometimes things happen and it's just a step ladder to a higher ground, meaning, something good will result for your heart being broken...maybe someday, you'll see each other and she turned out not to be the girl of your dreams, isn't it good that bad things happened now and not later? i know God has something good in store for you, keep believing in love and keep loving, you may lose the love you have right now, but believe that someone is still out there just waiting to cross your path, learn from it, stay happy and don't take it too seriously, you're still young and there's a lot ahead of you. SMILE! :) mai