Help about a... poem or song?
By timmeh0910
@timmeh0910 (1168)
United States
February 17, 2009 1:12am CST
Hello! I've recently decided I wanted to start writing poetry, but when I think of it I think of it as if it were to be in a song. So either way could be taken and know that it is just beginners work, but if your smart in the subject let me know how to improve my writing, and if your not smart in the subject, give me some tips on what you liked and what you didn't like about it, but it is however short and simple now, I plan on being able to make the lines bigger and more meaningful, Thanks!
Here we are again,
The taste isn't so sweet.
And the only thing you feel is broken,
As it somehow slowly beats.
You cry out wondering
How could it be?
When truthfully,
You should've seen.
Falling apart, arguments flare.
But you didn't even seem to care.
Minds gone mad, can't even think.
All is gone, before you blink.
Every moment, endless in time,
Still and silent as a mime.
Crying and wanting, to deny,
That you heard that silent whisper "good-bye."
1 person likes this
2 responses
@shamsta19 (3224)
• United States
17 Feb 09
There is no right or wrong way to write poetry. It is truly your own expression. The powerful part of poetry is that someone can read it and get a totally different interpretation altogether. I personally enjoyed this poem and it takes me to a sad place. Reminded me of a love lost, breaking up and love. Someone else may have a completely different feeling when they read it though. This may not even be what you were trying to express but that is the beauty of poetry. I have written poetry and songs for over twenty years now and I find yours to be a very well written piece.
With song writing the only difference is the structured format of verses. With poetry you are not limited to these same standards. you don't necessarily have to rhyme or structure your bars in any set format. With songwriting there is a format to follow as well as the expression of feeling. It isn't hard for some and difficult for others. Stick with your poetry and study song formats and you will do fine. Then when you are ready to set your words to music, talk to me and I will get you some tracks at a good price (hint hint).
@shamsta19 (3224)
• United States
26 Feb 09
And thanks for the best response. Your poem really is good. I just read it again.
@Esbatty (58)
• United States
17 Feb 09
Poems are also meant to be read aloud but you're trying to express an idea or thought or an image, its it own music. Poems range from a couple lines to an epic story. you can have characters and moods and themes being explored where as for songs, they're fairly average in length due to musical cues and what not. Songs tend to be more short and to the point, expressing a moment or emotion, sort of a photograph.
