Church Wedding or Civil Wedding : Does the type of wedding really affects the
By Curlann
@annierose (21583)
Philippines
February 17, 2009 6:51pm CST
strength of the relationship between husband and wife?
Many people says that it is better to have a church wedding rather than a civil wedding. They said that marriage is blessed once it is a priest who binds two people together. They believe that marriage will stay longer if it is done in the church. However, I can also say that there are two people that did civil wedding only but still is growing stronger with their marriage relationship. And sometimes there are cases that those who have civil wedding separate also. And people will say that it is because it is not the priest who blessed them. Fellow mylotters, I just want to ask what is your opinion regarding this issue. Please share. Happy mylotting.
3 people like this
18 responses
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
18 Feb 09
Hello annierose! My marriage is civil wedding. Although I really want to marry at the church to have God's blessing, the law won't allow us to. My husband was divorced and his first marriage was in Catholic Church so it means that we can't marry at the Catholic Church anymore. I think God understand about our situation. His ex - wife divorced him because she has a boyfriend so it's not my husband's fault why the marriage didn't work out well. I think what really important is that the love to each other and faith in God.
@tribcap (1)
• United States
26 Mar 09
Aisaellis22. I wanted to correct something you said. It is a very common misconception. I work for the Tribunal Office in the Catholic Church. A person who is divorced CAN get married again in the Church, if the first marriage has been declared invalid. If there are grounds for the first marriage to be invalid, a person can present a petition to the Tribunal of their diocese. The Tribunal will review the marriage and after searching for the truth in the case, will declare the marriage to be invalid (or valid, if there were no grounds), and a person is then free to marry again (if there are no prohibitions for that person, say they used to have many affairs before/throughout the marriage or used to beat their spouse. The Church is concerned for the well-being of the future spouse, so that they will not have the same problems). I would encourage your husband to look into the process if he truly has reason to believe that his first marriage was not valid. It helps with the healing process and would permit him to have his new marriage blessed/convalidated, allowing him and his new spouse to receive all of the sacraments once again.
@busibee (187)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I think it depends of the people getting married. If I ever get married, I don't want a huge ceremony with lots of people. I would just like a small commitment ceremony with my close family and friends. I'm not really into all the big scene with flowers and bridesmaids and a million people watching me get married - but I have a friend who always talks about when she gets married she wants 'these' kind of flowers and 'these' colors for the dresses and blah, blah, etc, etc. Lol -- I just want something simple.
1 person likes this
@JanMags (724)
• Philippines
18 Feb 09
the truth is that i would love to get married in church because i am a catholic but right now i am only civilly married.
in my opinion, i don't think getting married in church will ensure a long and happy union. i know of two people who were deeply religious, got married in church and separated after only four years. my husband and i have been going strong after five years. our neighbor who had been married through a civil ceremony has been married for thirty years.
so although my great wish is to be married in church, i still believe that the married couple themselves and their commitment to work for a long lasting relationship are bigger factors to a successful marriage
1 person likes this
@zenki08 (700)
• Philippines
18 Feb 09
I am a catholic but I am okay with just the civil wedding. It really does not matter what type of ceremony you have but whats important is the love that a couple has for each other. God will always bless the people who propagate love and God is always there for each and everyone of us.
1 person likes this
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I am not religious so in a non religious sense, I do feel that there isn't much of a difference and it depends on the couple. But culturally, if you go through the hassle of inviting all the people you know to watch you marry and to prove to everyone that you are married, it may seem that the 'love' is stronger. But I don't believe so, since I've had a reception in front of many but my marriage didn't work and my parents had only a civil wedding and they are still married. It depends on who you are and the circumstances.
@jolasu (49)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I honestly don't think it matters who performs the marriage, nor does it matter where it takes place. My husband and I chose to take a long weekend away and have a civil wedding in our vacation cabin. The only people in attendence were the JP, front desk staff from the resort (as witnesses) and my husband and I. To us, it wasn't about the ceremony, it was about the committment we made to eachother.
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
17 Apr 09
I've been married twice...the first time by a Justice of the Peace in his office, the marriage lasted 6 months (he was abusive). The second time was almost 3 years ago and we were married in our home by a local preacher. Hubby and I took a long time (6 years) deciding to get married and so far things are really good.
I've known ppl that had the big fairytale wedding and it ended in divorce. I've also known ppl that had simple courthouse weddings and are still going strong. I think it depends more on the couple then on who marries them or where their married.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@Galena (9110)
•
18 Feb 09
Christians will want a church wedding, the rest of us won't.
neither is a stronger marriage, on the basis of the religion of those entering it.
the fact is, some marriages are stronger than others. some people think harder before entering marriage than others.
I certainly don't feel that my marriage will be any less strong for not taking place in a church. as I am not a Christian, I think making my vows in a church would make them rather meaningless, as it would be making an Oath to someone I don't believe in.
obviously, for Christians marrying in a church, that's not the case.
but yeah. the strength of a marriage is dependant on the two people entering into it, not the way in which they marry.
a true marriage exists BEFORE the wedding day. the wedding day is just making it official.
if that bond isn't already there, you probably shouldn't be getting married.
it won't affect the outcome, where it takes place.
@zhuuraan (961)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I think that for some people, it depends whether they are religious or not. And for some, even who are religious, a church wedding is really more symbolic than anything and they'd feel the same regardless.
Since my fiance and I are both agnostic and disagree with a lot of religious views, this is just another one of those things. We both believe that it doesn't matter, even if you are married or not. I mean we are going to get married and it'll be a civil wedding but right now if we get married, SSI will take away our benefits. It's stupid, but that's all taht's holding us back from getting married.
However, I believe that even if one or both of us chose to follow a religion, we would still feel the same.
To me, if you are religous, there is no need to go to a church to pray or worship or even get married. A church to me is a place of fellowship where one can share the company of others who share similar beliefs to them. It is more of a religious social gathering spot. However, if god really is almighty and all that, it shouldn't matter where you are to worship.
@apples99 (6556)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I dont really think it matters what kind of wedding ceremony you have, because I know people who were married at the justice of the pace, and are still married and have been married for over 30 years, I think that its most important that you have a strong bond with the person your going to marry and that your really committed to making it work, and that the marriage ceremony has little to nothing to do with how long a marriage will last, because there have been a lot of people who have had big fancy weddings that didnt last, so in my opinion the ceremony really has nothing at all to do with how well a marriage will work.
@Llonorra22 (1150)
• Philippines
18 Feb 09
Hello, Annierose! In my honest opinion, it doesn't matter where the marriage was held. What matters the most is on how you will cherish and value your union as a couple.
@annierose (21583)
• Philippines
18 Feb 09
hi llonora,
yes, i agree with you..It's nice to see you again here in mylot
@Thumper11 (662)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I believe that it's not the fact of weather or not you get married in a church or in a court house and that it doesn't matter who performs the ceremony weather it is a priest or a judge, I think that what truely matters is that you uphold the vows. I feel that often times the ceremony is just for the family members anyway. It puts a lot of stress on the bride and often does not turn out the way that it is envisioned. I think as long as you love one another and uphold your vows, you should be able to have whichever ceremony that you want and not feel like you have less of a marriegs.
1 person likes this
@ulalume (713)
• United States
18 Feb 09
A wedding is only a ceremony and a party to celebrate the couple, not who the couple is. If one believes in God, then they should believe the couple would be blessed in a church or outside of one. If you read statistics at all, you would probably think the opposite, though; considering most divorces are between religious people who more than likely got married in a church. haha. the irony. I personally think the place you get married just reflects who the couple is, in a sense of where they like to be. I wouldn't mind getting married on a beach or on the top of a huge hill or in a castle(or something), because I enjoy all of those places in many ways. I wouldn't like getting married in a church because it's not my thing. But really, a wedding is one day. To say a marriage hinges on the location is kind of...strange...to say the least.
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
18 Feb 09
The question does the type of wedding really affects the strength of a relationship is a good one. Some people are superstitious on a lot of things that is why on their wedding day, they do tend to follow a lot of things so that the relationship of the couple would stay strong or so.
But it is not,may it be a church wedding or a civil wedding, i don't think that relationship of the couple has something to do with that. It is God that binds two people when married. In Civil or in Church, it does not matter as long as you do obey God and his Word and you put Christ at the center of your relationship, that is what matters most.
Christians nowadays focus on church wedding thinking that God will be in favor more if it's done in Church, but i don't mind that if they wanted to do it in church or not, as long as they are not opposing anything against God's law. And besides, wedding is the most happiest day a bride should be having, only once in a lifetime.
@shmeedia (1044)
• Canada
18 Feb 09
i don't think it matters how/where/by whom you were married. each mariage lasts or falls apart based on the inner dynamic of the 2 people in the couple.
i have a friend who was married at city hall and she is still a blushing bride one year later.
i have 3 friends each getting married in summer 2009, and are being married by a lawyer! no need to even have a judge now, apparently, let alone a church :)
@Jlyn22 (204)
• United States
18 Feb 09
How well someones marriage goes has nothing to do with where they have their wedding and anyone who says a marriage is better if its done in a church is full of sh*t. Im getting married outside and it doesnt mean my marriage will fail or not be as good just cause of where its being at.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I would like to have our wedding in the church in front og God but whatever it is, I didn't have a wedding at all :-\...
@eabaterina (501)
• Philippines
18 Feb 09
nah, i don't believe it affects the marriage. it all depends on the husband and wife and how they treat each other, how they work together to make the marriage work, how faithful they are to each other and in keeping their vows. some church weddings still end up badly so the priest doesn't have anything to do with it haha.
