If Someone Owed You $5,000 and Hasn't Paid Back...What Would You Do?
By debfeaster
@debfeaster (184)
United States
February 18, 2009 7:17am CST
Here is the problem. In the fall of 2007 I went throught a nasty divorce. My ex husband has a son that I accepted as my own and still do. While I was going through the divorce my ex-step sons wife asked to borrow $5,000 cuz they got themselves into some big financial trouble. For about a year they never acknowledged the loan. Late last fall they had mentioned it after my sister said something to him about it. See...now I am going through a really really rough financial spot as well and the money could make a huge difference for me. I have always tried to help my family and friends but feel like I have been taken advantage of cuz since they have borrowed the money from me they have bought a moped, a brand new Dodge truck, some new furniture in their house and a brand new LCD 52" TV. Seems that every time I go over there it is something new. My ex-step son has recently brought it up and told me he is doing what he can to try to gather some money. Now I know they will be getting taxes back and do I dare hold hope they could pay it back...or at least some of it.
What would you do at this point? Would you ask for the money and continue to do so or would you just let things slide and just ask about it occasionally???
1 person likes this
3 responses
@laglen (19759)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I think I would mention it one more time. If they don't pay it when they get their taxes, I would chalk it up to a lesson learned.
@debfeaster (184)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I know I will mention it to them again. I don't know if I am willing to just chalk it up to a lesson learned...that is a big chunk of change to just let go of. I would hope that they would respect me and care about our relationship enough to make some type of effort to repay the money. I would hope they are smart enough to know that this is affecting our relationship. But then again maybe they just don't care if it is affected.
@Jae2619 (1483)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I think you've let it slide long enough. That is a pretty big chunk of change not to be worried about. I would go talk with them and tell them, It is time that you start paying me back now. I am in need as you were when you borrowed the money, so let's work together on how we can make it work so your not strapped, but I can get back on my feet.
I would then write everything down, have them sign it as well as you, and even someones outside the family that can go with you to witiness that they said they would pay it back, that way if it comes down to you having to take the next step of claims court you have all the paper work, also buy a receipt book that's got carbon copies so you have everything you need.
@debfeaster (184)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I too think I have let this go for too too long. I am a very giving person and I always said if I could help my family out I would but this is getting to the point where it is hurting me...both finacially and emotionally. I feel they are just taking advantage of me. I will have to sit down with them and discuss it. It also seems to be affecting my relationship with them...I don't see them as much as I used to. Cuz every time I would go over there I would get frustrated with all the new things they were spending money on and just ignoring the fact that they owed me. I don't want to let it affect it anymore so I don't have much of an option but to face it head on at this point. Thanks.
@bandj20004 (14)
• United States
18 Feb 09
I would just sit down with them and talk to them about the loan. I would tell them you really wanted to help them but now you could use the money. Sit and talk to them and make up a payment plan that you both can agree on. PUT IT IN WRITING! Now things come up and payments are late but if you get no where it is time to go to court and sue them for your money back. I just hope you can agree on a payment arrangement that suits you both and you can continue being "friends".
Remember this in life and NEVER lend money to friends or family. It is usually doomed from the start.
@debfeaster (184)
• United States
18 Feb 09
Thanks for the advise. I have talked to them a bit but they always seem to have some reason not to be able to pay things back right now. You see he is layed off during the winter months and they don't have alot of extra money...I understand that in todays economy but I too am suffering. Maybe I will talk with them when he goes back to work soon and explain to them that with him back to work they should be able to afford to make some payments to me. I would hate to have to take them to court...they have been my family for over 15 years and I do love them dearly. Maybe I should also time it to be around the time they would be getting tax money back.
Oh...trust me...I have learned a very good lesson. I will never lend family or friends money in the future. See...I have loaned them money before and they have always paid back in a short period of time. I have so learned my lesson this time.
