14 year old grandson seeking independence.

Oh I see you're raising a normal child!!! Not always but most times these kids think they know all there is to know. I used to hate grounding children because just as sure as I know my own name something will come up and a fun thing that I would have liked to do as well as something the kids like to do but had to stay home. I only had one child and I have to say I was pretty lucky, I also took in foster kids. I'm assuming at only 14 years old he doesn't have a lot of pocket money and they all like to have money for the things they want. There's a thought, no nothing till the room is cleaned. Whatever you do if you share this child with a husband when one says no it's no. This rule should never be broken. And if it's of any help when I was raising my daughter and there were times she wanted to go run here and there with her friends there were many times I said No and I was pretty strict, but you know into her twenties we were talking and I'll never forget the words she said, "You know Mom as much as I did make a big fuss sometimes when you'd refuse me to go with my friends, I'd go back to school on Monday morning to find these people went to a party or went where they shouldn't and when I found out so many times they had got in a heap of trouble, I would often think to myself, my mother might be strict and sometimes I think she's mean but I thank God she loves me." She many times got a phone call in her teens and I would be sitting right there and hear her say, "No I asked my mom and I'm not allowed to go." Then after she was off the phone she'd tell me what the call was about. She just got to know the rules at that was that. She always tells her friends how lucky she was that I didn't just throw her a twenty dollar bill to get rid of her or she may not have had the same life she does now. That mades me feel pretty good. She always says when my Mom said NO it was NO that's it that's all and Yes was always a promise Mom never broke a promise, and We'll See meant Not to likely but with best behavior maybe. LOL. One day your Grandson will be all grown up and he'll see it then. For now hang in there Grandma.

Hi naty, now a days it is no longer effective to deal with teen agers in a strict manner. They will become rebellious when we put pressures on them. You may try to deal with your grandson in a positive way instead of forcing him to do things he doesn't like doing. Like for example, he is not cleaning his room? it wouldn't help if you keep scolding him for not doing it. You may try to do it yourself and let them watch how you do things and let him do the same the next time. make friends with your grandson. Let him feel that you will be happy when he does the cleaning or when he helps you in the house. If you keep on punishing him, or scolding him? it will make him stubborn. But if you will show him that you don't want a messy house by showing him how you did it yourself? then he would also do that. Most often adults are using our big mouth to let the young people follow what we want but that is not effective. The best way is to show them an example of how to do things and let them realized that following the rules is for their own good. Avoid scolding all the time, instead.. talk to them in a cool, nice way and they will understand. good luck!!

That is a huge undertaking. Good for you for taking it on. I found a website here that may be helpful to you, rather than retyping the entire thing: http://www.mapletreepublishing.com/parenting/teen_discipine.htm I hope it helps you. There are many articles and helpful suggestions on there. The biggest thing is to keep the lines of communication open. Never stop talking to each other about everything - be approachable.