Do you always say "yes" to your husband?
By myfb2009
@myfb2009 (8296)
Malaysia
February 19, 2009 4:50am CST
l saw an article written by a lady. She wrote about her younger days as a married lady. She said, she had to obeyed, everything that her husband said, just to make sure that he will loved her forever..As for me, l always discuss everything with my husband. Are you that kind of person?
4 people like this
13 responses
@justkay1122 (81)
• Canada
19 Feb 09
I really dislike the word "OBEY". We dont have to "OBEY" anyone.
If my husband asks something of me i will do my best to do it. As him for me.
But i dont and NEVER will Obey him. Or anyone else for that matter.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
19 Feb 09
I don't like the word obey either. However it is written in a lot of the wedding vows even to this day if I am correct.
I think that marriage is a partnership. The word "obey" to me seems a little out of touch and old fashioned. This is 2009 now. I believe that a happy union of two people is when there is sharing and open communication.
It should not be about either party bowing down to the other and obeying for that matter.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
19 Feb 09
No, its not necessary for me to say yes to everything my husband says. As it is we are same age and more like friends than spouses. Everything we do is by consensus but then we are so in sync with each other’s needs that most of the time its not difficult to say ‘yes’.
1 person likes this
@beachstarz (1092)
• United States
19 Feb 09
I always say Yes! , if he's asking me if I need money , hehe
No really I tell him no plenty of times , and he tells me no plenty of times.
We are pretty much 50 / 50 on things , and thats how it should be . We are friends before we are spouses like the person before me has stated. We know we can count on each other for certain things . I think it's important to speak your mind . If you are constantly bending over to please the other person , then who is bending over to please you? I think you would get a little resentfull if you give , give , give without getting anything in return .
1 person likes this
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
20 Feb 09
That lady was living with conditional love, and that isn't love.
I do not always say yes and or obey my husband because sometimes he's wrong.
I also thought a lot about how they say in the marriage vows that we are to obey (of course I think that has been pretty much removed, and so it should) I look at it this way, when men start loving their wives the way the bible said to. 'The way Christ loves the church' then they can expect obedience. I have only seen maybe three couple in my entire life that seemed to live that verse, and they were really old people and loved God.
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
23 Feb 09
I guess I didn't read it like she had a choice, I kind of read and understood it that maybe she had been conditioned to believe that way.
She said, she had to obeyed, everything that her husband said, just to make sure that he will loved her forever.
And on the end she said that about making sure he would love her forever if she obeyed.
That sounds like conditional love to me. I know there are many different culture in world. Some where the husband has the right to cut your head off. Needless to say I would probably be headless in about 48 hours at the most lol
@lovetobeme (215)
• Canada
23 Feb 09
I do not always say yes to my husband. We had decided before we were married to always communicate about all our feelings and thoughts and make decisions together.it works for us.
1 person likes this
@tiffrocks33 (71)
• United States
24 Feb 09
I am a stay at home mom. I do try to keep up with things. My husband and I are equal. I help him and he helps me. I know people that still obey there husbands and do every little thing they ask. I find it interesting that there husbands are older then they are. My husband and I are the same age I think that helps. I actually asked my husband the other day if he wished I was more like my friends were with their husbands. He said no. He knows that is not who I am. I am grateful that he is like that. I am also gratful that we discuss things with each other. I do not always say yes to him and he doesn't always say yes to me. I think this makes for a much healthier marriage.
1 person likes this
@success98 (4)
• United States
2 Mar 09
When it comes to me,My Husband and I sit and discuss things first,then we take a decision.But when it comes to small matters(Like going out/movie..)i obey him.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
21 Aug 09
There is a big difference between discussion and obedience. My husband and I discuss everything, and we discuss it until we come to an agreement. No one gives in, we just keep throwing logical points out there until we both come to a mutual agreement. With us it never takes long to reach an agreement. I may think one thing, and he may toss something out there I haven't thought of yet, and I'll decide that he's right, and vice versa. We don't believe in obedience, leadership, or submission. There is no head of our household.
@myfb2009 (8296)
• Malaysia
1 Sep 09
Nice to hear about your part of story. Actually, my hubby and i also have this kind of discussion going on when we want to solve a problem. Yes, by doing that way, we are able to reach agreement without any obedience, leadership or even submission. Seems like, you are having the same way of solving problem like in my home. Thanks for sharing....
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
22 Feb 09
She said, she had to obeyed, everything that her husband said, just to make sure that he will loved her forever
I will NEVER understand that sort of mindset....if thats what it takes for a spouse to love the other spouse IT ISNT LOVE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!....That sort of thing just blows my mind....
Do I always say "yes"? LOL HELL NO! BUT at the same time I would never expect my partner to always say "yes" to me either..If I wanted a robot I'd go out and buy one ya know....
@aprilten (1966)
• Philippines
19 Feb 09
No. To me, my husband and I are equal. I will say yes to him only if I really agree with him. If not, I will say what's in my mind.
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
19 Feb 09
I think that newly married couples and those that have been married for a while tend to have different views on this subject.
I have been married now for almost five years. This is my second marriage. I don't believe in always saying yes to your spouse. I tend to agree with your take on this matter. I also like to discuss everything with my husband if possible.
You should keep the lines of communication open always.
@LaPrincesa77 (104)
• Canada
19 Feb 09
I am my own woman, and I do as I please. I always talk to my husband and tell him how I am feeling, regardless if he likes what I have to say or not. He understands that this is now 2009, not 1950's where the woman did everything the man said and was basically "seen and not heard". Not me ! I stay home and clean and cook, yes, but that's because that is what I choose to do, not what he tells me to do.
@taterkitty (45)
• United States
19 Feb 09
Haha That's a big NO!! And if I did he would think something was wrong. Marriage is a two way street not a one way road that your spouse navigates. I enjoy being my own person and making my own decisions but if I feel I need to discuss it with my hubby then I will and then probably do then the opposite of what he says.
