In serious trouble with my sons school

Hi Cheryl I am not in good shape right now. He actually scared me this morning. He has a horrible temper and he threw things and yelled and it really scared me. I am afraid that he might hurt me someday. My mom is afraid of that to. He didn't want to go again. But I forced him to. I know he hates me. He hates all the adults at school. Especially the associate pricipal and the councelors. They used to have a wonderful councelor there that he saw everyday but she left and there are people there now that seem not to care. I still am scared that I will go to jail. I can't have that with my health problems. I have never thought of a home bound program. I am setting him up with my therapist. He used to see her when he was younger and she knows him. So I am praying that he goes along with it. Thanks

My mom was the same way though that included puking and loose stools. Wich in general is what's on the sheet they send home if you are deciding they are too sick to go to school.

Hi catsanddogs, That is a good idea your mom had. When I was a kid, I did the same thing as my son is doing to me. I missed so much school my parents got in the same trouble. I think something different is going on with him. With me, I was so terribly shy I was constantly picked on daily. With him, he is pretty popular. He has a lot of friends at school so I cant understand why he does this. He yells at me and says why don't you ever believe me. I am really sick. I want to believe him but he has missed so much with migranes and stuff when he really is sick he gets very angry when he is forced to go. I dont know. I am putting him in counceling. I know that.

I have some news. I talked to him about the counceling and he agreed to go! I think it is only because he knows the councelor. He went to her years ago when I first got divorced and she really helped him so he trusts her so that is good. Now I just need to develope a plan to get him up in the morning. As for the migranes, I can tell they are cause he does hold his head and light, especially the floresant ones at school kill his head. And he always says "shhhhhh" so I know it is a migrane. He inherited them from his dads side. All of them get terrible migranes. Ones that make them end up in the hospital. He is also lazy. I don't know how to get him out of it. Maybe my councelor can help. I know exactly what you went through in school. I remember me crying so bad I didn't want to go to school and sometimes I pretended I was sick so I wouldn't have to. My dad was the softy and he always let me stay home. My mom hated that. Thanks so much. And you take care!

annjilena, Thankyou for your advice. I will definetely do that. I know that I have been to soft with him. I am putting him in counceling as soon as possible. It helped him before when he was younger and I know it will help again. I won't watch him fail. I will make sure he is successful. It is just so hard to do cause I never feel good. But I guess I have to now. Thankyou

From what you had just said to me, i am thinking that your son may be suffering from depression. You say he doesn't seem to care about anything. I reckon this is a good sign of depression. Maybe speak to the doctor and get him to check and see if this is the case. You are facing a tough situation with him at the moment. I only wish i could help you more. It is such a shame we live so far apart. I could offer more support if we lived close by. Remember, i'm here if you need to email and get things of your chest. Sometimes just writting problems down and sharing with someone really does help.

Thanks suegt, He agreed to go to counceling and I am relieved about that. I just hope things get better with him. I have this fear of him getting violent twords me. I hope that never happens. Thanks for your support. I will keep in touch.

Thanks for your advice. You are right though. You cant force them to do something they dont want to. And he has a violent temper. So that is scary for me. I am putting him in counceling right away. He used to go right after my divorce and knows her well so I will start that right away. No I can't change schools. He is suppose to go to high school next year. Although he is 9th grade right now. But he will switch to the high school next year and it scares me. I just don't want him to fail like I did. I want him to succeed in life. The only reason I failed is because I got sick and couldn't work anymore. But he is young and has a chance still. He acts as if he dosent care about anything anymore. And if he quit missing school and applied himself, he would be getting straight A's. He is that smart. Thanks for your advice. I will keep trying.

Thankyou for your advice. I usually do get a doctors note. He wasn't in school yesterday and I took him to the doctor. She gave me a note for school. Now he is home again today. He says he dosent feel good. The doctor said if he feels worse today then she can extend the note to today also. I did get a preventative medication from a doctor for his migranes so it has been working so far. I think the headache he had lately is from the illness. He gave it to me to and I got broncitis. I am finally over it, but I just hope I don't catch something else. They keep saying he should be in school even if his glands are swollen. I don't think he should, but thats my opinion.

they can't do anything that a doctor advises against. I'd tell them to stick to their profession and the doctor will stick to theirs. I'd laugh at them if you have doctors notes then and I'd actually state "you can't do anything when I have doctors notes stating he shouldn't be in school. Irregardless of what you do the doctors notes stand just as it would if an employee had to go on Short term Disability. He is excused by a professional and I suggest you let them make the diagnosis and let them determine if he's deemed fit to go to school. Thank you and have a nice day " Be sure to make copies of ALL the doctors notes.

I would also say "I will not tolerate any further threats from you. I am personally documenting these incidences and one more I will go to the police for you harassing me for something doctor already excused my son from."

Hi lolastevens, I do that to. When I cant figure something out, whether it is math or scientific, I ask him and he knows the answer. I do that alot. Ive been sick since 05 and when you are ill all the time your brain cant function as well. So he is a big help in that area. He is not in any sports. He isn't interested to, and I cant afford it anyway. We are living on very little income. I think that gets to him sometimes but he seems to understand. Thanks for all the advice. Wish me luck!

Hi. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know it must be hard. Is he is counceling? I am seriously thinking of putting him in touch with my therapist. She works with children and adults. What has the school done with you? Are they making you do anything? Schools are very strict now days everywhere. Its ok that you cant offer any advice. I wish I had some for you, but all I can suggest is therapy. That is why I am thinking about it. My situation is a little different. He isn't skipping out on school he just says he is sick all the time. I do hope that you find a way to help him and your other kids. Good luck and take care.

skysuccess, His migranes are inherited from his dad. His dads whole family has them. He is taking a medication that is preventing them and so far it is working well. I think he just keeps catching bugs from school and it makes him miserable. You know the saying men are like babies when they get sick. Well, he is and he hates feeling bad. And when he does he gets mad when people make him do something like go to school and work. He is not involved in anything at school. I think he is lazy prone and just dosent want to. He says he wants to have fun. Well, life is not full of fun and he has to realize that. Yes he is a very smart guy. If he applied himself and didn't miss any school he would get straight A's. So he just has to want to do it. He is going to start counceling. We have a good one and he trusts her. Vitamins are a good idea to. You have helped. Thankyou so much.

lagirl1966, Besides the medication for your son's migraines, you may also want to look into his diets and avoid food that will trigger his migraines. IMO, dieting would be the best alternative medicine where he will get himself nourish and in the process have a healthy physique to build up the necessary resistance for his condition. It is also a proven fact that a healthy body can fight and eventually cure known ailments even those as serious as cancer. It is also a fact that Chinese medicines can also help in this area, I am not really sure if you are aware of this but let me assure you that the real ones are not "quacks". It has been around for more than 500 years and it's methodology is very safe as their prescriptions are all about simple herbs, healthy diets and acupuncture. The herbal tea prescriptions may be a bit out of the world experience but there again what can one expect when these medicines are all plant base. Besides, the treatment is also a slow and methodical process as it believes in building up the entire body's function by protecting the vital organs like the heart, liver, gall, spleen, gut, kidney and intestines. Just for your interest, detoxification may be a western term but the Chinese medicine world had actually started this process for the sick and elderly. I am not really sure exactly where you are and if there is a true practitioner in your area. However, if you are really interested just let me know; I will be glad to help you. Last but not least, I just have to remind you the importance of adequate rest. The both of you (starting with you) should always have adequate sleep and rest. How can a stressed up body have the energy to maintain resistance and immunity to the hazards of health and the environment? The reason why the both of you are catching the bugs so easily actually tells, that the both of you are really tired and your bodies are under a lot of stress. So, do make a little more time for rest, you just might not know but an additional hour away from work or the computer can actually save you a couple of hundreds on medication. Take care. P.S. I have taken the liberty to compile these references for you, hope they will help you further. List of foods that may be triggering migraines http://altmedicine.about.com/od/popularhealthdiets/a/migrainediet.htm Find the connection: diet headache migraine (Simple and easy food choices) http://www.relieve-migraine-headache.com/diet-headache-migraine.html Food Sensitivities http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=faq&dbid=30 Allergy Avoidance Diet http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=diet&dbid=7 Chinese Medicine http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traditional_Chinese_medicine

crivas, YOu are right. It is the adults that he is angry at. He likes all his teachers (especially history) and all his friends are there. I never thought of home schooling. I dont think my ex would go for that at all. I don't even know if anyone does that in this area. I will think about it though.