Give money to someone who is going to marry
By iamfine
@iamfine (740)
China
February 21, 2009 6:50am CST
It is a Chinese tradition that when somebody you know is going to get married, you need to parpare some money, put them in a red paper bag and give it to her/him. it is tradition, as return, when you get married, that person would give you one red paper bag too, inside contents money.
Now I have a classmate is getting marry tomorrow, most of my classmates are going her wedding, but I don't like to, because I am not very familier with her, and I don't even talk much to her when we are in the same class. So I don't think I should give her the red paper bag. Maybe it is because I am too mean to give my money to others who I don't know too much. I don't expect her to give me money bag when I get married, because she may not be invited to my wedding.
Now I am sitting here thinking, am I too rude to to refuse to give her money bag? It is just because that our relationship is not good, or it is just because that i am too mean? I am now 24, of course my classmates are at the same age to me or about the same age, we are all at marriage age! I don't think I can afford all the red bag for all my classmates.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@forslahiri (1042)
• India
22 Feb 09
Hi,
More than the GIFT'S VALUE,I believe GOODWISHES will be important for any newly wed.
Now, do u think u'll go for a Gift? will it cost u some money(ur Budhet)?
Give that Budget(money) in the 'red-bag' & give all the Best wishes to her.
It is more so pertinent ss b'cz U donot know her much.naturally, give her liberty to spend the Gift-money as per her desire.
=lahiri,Kolkata,India.
@borgborg (821)
• Philippines
22 Feb 09
Are you really required to give her a red bag with money once you attend her wedding? if you are, then maybe you can give her just a small amount of money after all your not that close like you said. Its up to you really, will you be missing on a lot if you would not attend her wedding? Maybe then you can send your apologies for not coming and just wish them the best in luck instead...
2 people like this
@SmilyQin (179)
• China
24 Feb 09
Oh,I got the same things with you!One of my workmate is married,we are not even a friend but we come from the same province.She invited me and some of my workmate to her wedding party,I am only 22 and it is my time to go to a wedding without my family.I don't know what to do,I think I will folow the others!
I hate the habits ilke this,we shouldn't give money to each other and the amount is biger and biger,some can't afford it !
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
I think just feel free to give what your heart wants to give, not reluctantly, but for what you can afford to give. It is important that you are happy to give that money or blessing to someone. I think that you will not regret it.
I believe that the more you give, the more you will receive and it is better to give than to receive. Don't push yourself too much thinking how much you can give. Just what you can afford to give and you have a happy heart giving it to the person.
It will just be a waste if lets say you give someone a big amount of money, but in your heart, you are not happy to give it. Give what you think is appropriate and what you have.
1 person likes this
@eabaterina (501)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
you should give what sincerely comes from your heart. if you do not feel like giving her the red bag, then don't. if she's not a close friend, then don't. some of us are really like that. you should not be bothered too much about it.
1 person likes this
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
21 Feb 09
I don't think you should ever feel obligated to give a wedding gift. An invitation to a wedding, if you received one, is an invitation for your presence at the event. That's all. It's not a request for a gift (even though we all know that there are people that treat it as such).
If you will not attend the wedding, especially because she is not a close friend, I think it would be nice if you offered her a card instead. Extend your best wishes to her and her new spouse but only give a gift if you want to.
I agree that it would be very costly for you to plan to give the red bag to all your classmates! You should probably go on a case-by-case basis and evaluate whether or not to give a gift by how close your friendship is with each person. I don't think you are being mean. You are being practical! You can't give money to every person that gets married... it isn't realistic :)
1 person likes this
@worldbestwriter2008 (1633)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
yeah..this is done according to traditional way..they just follow tradition..and this tradition is good...we filipino also applied this..this is done when the couple are dancing on the floor surrounded by invited visitor..
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
23 Feb 09
That's an expensive tradition, maybe that can imposed to the close relatives or the principal sponsors but maybe for classmates and friends giftwrapped items will do. For sure they will understand considering that we're in a global crisis. However if you can afford then you can choose a quite expensive gift but cost pretty much lesser with that money in a paper bag. Here we have also a giving money tradition during weddings, where the newlyweds had to dance and the relatives of both sides had to pin money say 100 or 1000 pesos or the like, to their wedding dresses. Other guests just come with their gifts.
