Why a father denoy his his own son?
By murugezh
@murugezh (273)
India
February 22, 2009 12:22am CST
Hi every one thanks for the Sunday I have lot to do with my lot.
Here I have one friend with me, he have done a small mistake on his childhood that he have lost the important jewel that is traditional property to his family on a public place when he was age of 8. Still from that day his father was angry with him and he never speak to him direct. This was being nearly past 15 years. Now he is going to marry a girl which is an arranged marriage.
Still he don't how is she what she like, many things he don't know. Even he can't get her phone number to talk with her. Still in his family his all other sub links never worried about this handsome he is very close to me he always use to cry to me. But his father and family never understand him. After many years my friend also very much depressed and he never talk to anyone. He is living like an dead man on his house, he use to be with his friends circle.
As a father since from that day he never worried about him. But my friend respect every one of his family. His believe and life in that family is his mother, only one and his friends like me he have many in our circle. All we know very well about him, but we are ignore to talk to his father about him. If we ignore he will not allow us to enter his house, so we use to just wish "hi dad, good morning!!" that's it, this is the limit we have with him so far.
He is working on a petrol bunk, his daily duty is to control accounts, well he is an B.Com graduate, good cricketer and social worker. I don't know the value of that jewel but he told me it was very small with some kind of gems made for his family luck. His family is middle class they have them own business, land house and etc.
Can any one tell me why he is avoiding his own son, is it possible if you are in his father's place. My friend is very clam and cool person, he is laughing out side and ...ing inside.
Now I want to know if you are his father what will you do? If you are as my friend what will you do?
Thanks for your response in advance and I wish Happy lotting for all.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@LilPixelle (828)
• United States
22 Feb 09
A sad story with real souls behind it. What kind of position was he as a child in that he could lose a jewl that precious to his dad? What kind of dad LETS their child that young around a jewl that precious? As far as I'm concerned, this dad needs his heart softened, because he missed out on something precious over a stupid jewl. any jewl that could place hatred in your heart torward your own son, is a stupid stupid jewl. If I were your friend, I would probably end up running far far away, possibly to another country to start ALL over. But then, I'm not your friend, and I don't know everything... I don't really know what else to say, I don't know what did that to his Father's heart, But I know it's evil. And needs to be overcome.
May God bless you, your friend, his father, and his betrothed, Especially spiritually In all your/their's journeys.
2 people like this
@forslahiri (1042)
• India
22 Feb 09
Hi,
It's EGO of father and his non-affectionate aloofness has created this gap.
It was son too did not take enough initiative to Break the Ice & ego.
I only HOPE that the GIRL and in future Grandchild can MELT all ego down.
Keep patience & Faith on HIS direction.
=Lahiri,Kolkata,India.
@murugezh (273)
• India
22 Feb 09
We hope that too Lahiri, we use to encourage him from the childhood days as a said here "one day he'll understand you or your partner or your child will make him understand so don't worry, Just do what you can do best for your father and family". Thanks Lahiri. Happy lotting have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@sharay (2769)
• India
23 Feb 09
I really doubt if this could be the sole reason for him to hate his son, that too a mistake comitted at his small age...i hope he is an egoistic person, who does not know or much interested in bringing up a child in the right way...but i am sure he is going to recognise his mistakes and return to his son for his live on one fine day, time will teach him a good leason, as of you...keep maintaining the beautiful friendship that you have with him, i hope even if it is an arranged marriage, he is going to have a good new life for he is a good person, so i think in this phase of his life, he is going to find happiness and lost love, your job is to take care of him even in future after he is married, if possible, be friend with his would-be too, tell her all about him and what are all he is going through in life and what he has been longing for so far in his life, talk to her before you friend's father starts to speak something bad about his son...wish all the very best on my behalf and tell him that "change is the only thing that never changes"
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
23 Feb 09
Hi murugezh~ This is a very sad story. No matter what your
friend did when he was 8 years old, he was a child! How can
his father hold that against him for his whole life? He didn't
mean to lose the jewel or whatever he did! His father is being
completely unreasonable! I can't believe that no one, especially
his mother hasn't been able to reason with him to let it go by
now! It is truly sad! I don't think that someone outside the
family should interfere, but I do think that someone should
try to speak with his father. Something that happened when
someone was a child shouldn't be held against them for the
rest of their life! I feel very badly for your friend to have
to have this hanging over his head! His father is cruel!
1 person likes this
@savypat (20216)
• United States
22 Feb 09
People can change, something like this is unreasonable to most of us, but your friend is old enough to move on, make his own family and circle of friends. As he leads his own life and is happy his Father may change, but there is no way to predict this and it may never happen. One thing I know is you can never change someone else. Blessings
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
22 Feb 09
Your friends father has carried his anger for way way too long. Children make mistakes, you learn from them and carry on with your life. Your friend sounds like a good person. After he gets married, will he be still living in the same house? There are always some things in life that you cannot change, and his fathers unreasonable anger sounds like on of them. Obviously dad puts more value on the lost jewel than his own son. And that's a sorry way to feel, because he is really loosing something more valuable - his son.
Hopefully your friend will have a happy marriage. Maybe grandchildren will soften his dad's heart. At least we can hope that your friend will never treat his own children that way.
1 person likes this
