Erectile dysfunction.

@jolasu (49)
United States
February 22, 2009 9:50pm CST
So anyway, my husband has decided that his erectile dysfunction.... yep I've said the forbidden words outloud and ONLINE.... is his issue alone. I'm not allowed to have any feelings. I'm not allowed to actually ask questions or feel anything in regard to this issue. My actual feeling is this, we're both in this boat together. Our lives have changed drastically and I'd be willing to bet that stress has a whole lot more to do with it all than my physical appearance (especially since I still wear the same size clothing as before). Logically I know this isn't a "me" issue. This time it didn't even happen on a "my request" time. My reality was brought up a few days ago, I was really turned on by him. I said that in a few different ways a few different times. It wasn't acted on. That is what made me feel a bit icky. Today I did act on his (rare) instigation and in the end ... nothing. So is it normal or ok for me to also have feelings that are foreign to me and a little disconcerting? Or am I just a C. U. N.ext T.uesday?
1 response
lynnemg
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
23 Feb 09
I think that it is very normal for you to feel the way you do. I bet that there are times when the whole issue makes you feel unattractive and a whole miriad of other yucky feelings. For him, I bet he is very frustrated because he knows how you feel and he feels like less of a man because of his problem. I agree that stress probably has a whole lot to do with it all. Has he seen a doctor about it, because there may be an under-lying cause that can be easily fixed, or there could be something serious going on. You are right, you are in this together whether he likes it or not. You need to talk openly about your feelings to each other and decide what the best course of action is to take. You could try relaxation methods, and many other things (be creative) as well as visiting the doctor.
jolasu
@jolasu (49)
• United States
23 Feb 09
those are my feelings exactly. No he hasn't seen a doctor and at this point in our "world" he wouldn't based on finances. Previously it just wasn't that important since it only happened sometimes. He won't accept that anyone except him has feelings about this and I guess that's probably the first "acceptance" that I need to make. I just feel fairly alone as the woman in the relationship. In his words I'm a selfish "b**ch for even saying anything outloud in our own home.