Would you expect in return?
By K.Rajib G.
@krajibg (11922)
Guwahati, India
February 22, 2009 10:21pm CST
People are of divided opinions on role of parents as they bring their children up. Some hold that parents really wish that their children were the most obedient and the best citizens when they grew to maturity and make them proud parents so that they could stand tall. The other camp holds this as a latent selfish motive of the parents. As on the one hand they claim to bring up their children selflessly without any expectation as such, on the other hand unconsciously though they are in expectation of the returns of the service they did for their children. The return is in all forms. That as they would grow old and weak would look after and stand by them in their needs.
The radical group thinks this other way round. As children are their offspring and since they were not born as per their own demand or wish, by default it becomes their duty to feed and bring them up. Anything that went against the children would be violation of the parental obligation and responsibility. Parents are by all means responsible of the future of their children and they can not claim any return now and never in any form. It would depend on the children concerned if they would like or not like to assist their parents in their needs or do anything as asked of.
This group denies any access to emotional bondage. Parents can not whine that they suffered in such and such way while bringing them up and so many other issues.
The traditional Camp does not go arms in arms with this view but can not say anything else either for they have some sort of wishes and expectation from their children but the heart does not come up to the lips.
It is interesting. What do you feel and which camp you belong to?
3 people like this
9 responses
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
23 Feb 09
Hello my friend krajibg Ji,
I am always thinking that, I brought up my children, as my parents brought me up. And
further think that my grand children also to be brought up in similar or better ways.
I never expected anything from them, as I brought them up, of my own will and plaesure.
I have three children. I always tell them, whatever their grand parents were educated
I was much educated than my parents, my children went another step ahead, now I have
thrown chalanges to them to educate their children to another great height, comparitively
many facilities available at door-step. Recentlt a bill wa spassed, where it has become
mendatory for children to take care off their old and aged parents. It may be possible
financially, but not with any loving relations.
But i would definitely question from all children, tehy should have opted out not to
become sons and daughters of particular. Did they have any choice. It is a great topic of
discussion. may god bless you and have great time.
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
23 Feb 09
Hello my friend krajibg Ji,
So nice of your comments. As i never expected my son would show me US/England, when
he called me and showed me Niagra (which I dreamt since my child-hood), I got everything.
In fact, if you do not expect and you get, it is a bonus, it is lottery. But , if you
expect and do not get it, it would be set back. may god bless you and have great time.
1 person likes this
@bbsr13 (4196)
• India
23 Feb 09
Hello,Rajib! It is the world of give and take.When the parents have invested their whole lot it is natural that they expect support from their children in their old age.The children must oblige.After all we are human beings we need all care and love and affection of the children when we are inactive because of old age and sickness.thanx.
2 people like this
@krajibg (11922)
• Guwahati, India
23 Feb 09
That is the common expectation. What if the child now grown up refuses to accept the truth and would ask back ' If you took care of me in my babyhood. that was you0r love. Did I ask you to?
What then? The possibility can not be ruled out.
thanks for responding.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (166911)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Feb 09
I think it is only right for the children to grow up and take of the parents in their old age. I think it is only right? We need to take care of our own. If both do as they should it becomes a wholesome and loving unit.
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
23 Feb 09
I feel that my child is my responsibility and as a parent I am obliged under all circumstances to bring her up, teach her and guide her toward adulthood.
I don't feel that it is her responsibility to take care of me in my old age; she will more than likely have a family of her own and should not feel obliged to look after me. Knowing my daughter the way I do I am certain that she will make sure that I am ok and our relationship will hopefully be strong because she is a very caring person but she should not have to attend to all my needs. 
@queenie1234 (57)
• China
23 Feb 09
Love our children no mistake,we have to do to the childtre of parents we can give them the love and suppport of our parents make happy .I believe that their parents grew up under the Prevention of Cruelty to Childen will give parents enough concern,in our old time.
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
23 Feb 09
I raised my children the best way that I knew how, teaching them right from wrong and also to expect the best of themselves. Any hardships I endured were just part of being a parent-nobody ever claimed it was easy to raise children well. I did my best and the rest is up to them. They have disappointed me at times with poor decisions but nothing major, but it was their decision to make. On the whole, they have made me proud.
My sons are 20 and 21 now, living away from me, and they both have told me that if I ever need them they are there for me. I can live with them if I want to and they say they will always provide for me. I hope it never comes to that but I know that I've done my job as a parent well and feel that my life has been a success because I've given the world two wonderful, responsible and good people.
I guess I am part of the first camp, although I don't feel that my expectations are their obligation to fulfill.
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11922)
• Guwahati, India
24 Feb 09
Very well explained. I really feel proud of you that even after enduring all the pain and agony while bringing them up you are free from any "give me back" mind. I think this is another way to remain happy in life.
Hope your sons really make some difference...
1 person likes this
@sharay (2769)
• India
24 Feb 09
My daughter is my greatest gift ever and i feel that it is my duty to take good care of her and protect her until she gets the potential to take care of herself, it is out of love that i want to do this for her, so why would i expect anything else in return from her, except LOVE, i need nothing in return from my daughter even if she is willing to, is that too much to ask for?
@krajibg (11922)
• Guwahati, India
27 Feb 09
Hi sharay ! you are already prepared for that. That sounds great and asking love is not any sort of return I feel?
Thanks a lot for your response
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
23 Feb 09
We just do the obligation of the parents to love and support the children. To send them to school and do the best for them to have bright future. We are not expecting them to do something in return, however we don 't know our fate. Should we parents grow old poorly, it's up for them , but knowing how closely related the family members here the children will surely take good care of their parents. They will support their parents in case they needed to be. Some parents, however are well to do that even before they become pld they already distributed their properties among their children, what they wanted maybe from their children are their affection which of course am sure parents wouldn't be disappointed.
