ULTIMATUM: Wife or Dog
By etan23
@etan23 (19)
United States
February 23, 2009 10:55pm CST
A friend of mine called me the other day with this startling problem. I did not know how to react and from a little shock mixed with dis-belief had a hard time in giving any valuable help. Basically, his wife said if he does not get rid of the dog then she was filing for divorce. Seems silly right? Yeah I would have to say so but it is happening. My friend that I will just call "Paul" has had "roxy" a beautiful golden retriever for almost 5 years. "Paul" and "Mary" have been married almost 3 years. "Mary" never complained of "roxy" or any other animals until about a year ago "Paul" explains. The first complaint came that too much money was being spent on vet trips, food, care, etc. The complaints then started rolling in. She complained about everything and anything that had to do with "roxy". "That dog sheds too much." "That dog stinks." "That dog is going to bring fleas in the house." At this point I believe you understand. Of course "Paul" does not want to give up his dog, his friend, his companion or his wife. Although thats exactly where it stands now. "Mary" left and went to stay with a friend and told "Paul" he has five days to make a decision. DOG or WIFE. Wow! Thats exactly what I was saying and I asked, where is the oppurtunity for some kind of agreement. Ya know like meet me half way and I will meet you half. I mean isnt that what a husband and wife do all the time? Day in day out, relationships take compromise. This is what I told my friend. Lastly, I am just hoping for some response and advice or any kind of input would be great. I know some people probably believe its a easy choice. Some would definitly say a pet is not worth losing your marriage. Then I believe there are others that would not part with their pet under any circumstances that they can control. What would you do if you were "Paul"? Or what would you do if you felt like "Mary"? Thanks for reading and have a tremendous day!
2 people like this
6 responses
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
25 Feb 09
Well, first off he obviously had the dog when they got married. If she didn't like dogs she should have said so long before now. Its not as if he just went out one day and came back with a dog, not saying anything to her. I'm afraid under these circumstances, I'd have to ask her if she needed help packing!
@alto907 (39)
• Philippines
25 Feb 09
marriage is always a give and take situation and both should try to understand and respect each other. from your narration, it would seem that before "Paul" and "Mary" got married, "Paul" has "roxy" already. so i dont think that "roxy" should be a problem to "Mary" considering that she knows already about "Paul's" relations with "roxy". it is also unfair for "Mary" to make "Paul" choose between her and "roxy". she should loosen up a bit and be more understanding and respectful of Paul's feelings. On the other hand, "Paul" should also try not to give so much attention to "roxy" to the extent that "Mary" would feel unwanted and taken for granted. the money which the guy spends on roxy should also be watched out because their money is theirs and not for roxy only. more importantly, the time and effort spent by paul to roxy should not be more than the time and effort he spends with mary.
@TheCatLady (4691)
• Israel
24 Feb 09
It seems that Mary has control issues. She knew her husband had a dog when she married him. So why now is it a problem? He shouldn't get rid of the dog. It's the dog today, tomorrow it will be something else. They need to go to counseling to solve whatever the problem is. Because it's not the dog. It runs much deeper than that.
If my husband ever gave me that ultimatum, I'd ask him if he needs help packing.
@nikky28 (1572)
• India
24 Feb 09
If Roxy was just an animal to Mary, I don't think she would go to the extent of DOG or WIFE and think of getting divorced over a dog.I don't think Mary loves Paul anymore. I think Mary really hates Roxy and may even be jealous of it or she is a egomaniac who wants to control her husband and wants him to do what she says and if he disagreed she is threatening him of a divorce to save her ego as things have really gotten out far. Poor Paul i feel for him.
@beachstarz (1092)
• United States
24 Feb 09
I take it that Mary isn't an animal person , lol
What I would do is agree to building a nice outdoor pen for roxy and keeping her outside , if the weather there isn't too harsh .
I would make the outdoor pen the best animal pen you could imagine, so roxy
would be very comfy. I would also make sure I spend alot of time with roxy so she isn't left alone in the back yard 24/7 . If that wasn't good enough for
Mary then I would tell her where she could go , and that you and roxy will be very happy together . It seems to me that if Mary has only been married to Paul for 3 short years and is already giving him threats about divorcing him , there is more to it then just the dog roxy . I bet she will find something else to threaten him about once roxy is gone . I wouldn't let go of roxy . I would try to find out what the problem really is ..
@vedabrat (13)
• United States
24 Feb 09
I think that Mary is just trying to find any excuse to leave him. Either she isnt truly happy with your friend orshes just a really uptight person. She put up with the dog for three years before, why on earth would she start complaining now? She knew what she was getting herself into so its not fair for her to ask this of him. If I were your friend I would leave her. I would move on with someone better who would be happy with me and my pets. Pets become a part of your family after awhile its not easy to give them up so I feel sorry for him. Hopefully everything works out.
