selfish husband

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hi-i had spoke about a daughter i gave up 25 years ago and was going to finally meet.i have triplet boys now that are 6 years old and did not want to leave behind with thier dad because they do not always get along.my husband and i have been married for 10 years and we live around his family. all of my family are over 2000 miles away.i thought i would have my husband and my boys go with me to meet my daughter my husband is very selfish and rude he complained the whole time we were there that he did not want to be there. he does this any time we start to travel some where that does not involve what he wants to do.he verbally naged me the whole way back telling me you gave up your daughter and never raised her.you are no good .whan we had our triplets i had to give up my job in the medical field because i needed to take care of the babys however he did not make enough to support us and all i heard was we have no money.i started cleaning comerical buildings at 2 o clock in the morning and coming home before he went to work and i would take care of the kids. ever year whan it is tax time i have to pay about 1200 dollars in self employment taxs when they take it out of our return money he tells me every year that i owe him 1200 dollars because he paid for my self employment taxs.i dont know if he realizes how much i have saved us in child care by geting up at 2 in the morning 7 days a week i really do not in joy these hours.but i have to do it for my kids.he has a full time job and has a hobby farm when he gets home he gos out to the cattle and stays out there until after 9 i am very tired by 8 and need to be in bed to be up the next morning at 2 again.he tells me what ever comes in the house with cattle poop on his shoes and mixes lamb bottles rite out of our kitchen.he never has money for the kids food but he is always buying things for the animals.i am really tired of all of this after 9 years and he will not listen he will yell tell me to shut up.what would you do if you were in my shoes?