Expectations ruining a relationship

please dont take this the wrong way but you cant ask for things like that from him. That should be things that he wants to do for himself to show you how much he loves you. Sometimes men find it really difficult to express how their feeling. Did he used to leave you notes or is this just something you would like him to do. In my experience, there are not many men that would think of doing things like this. The fact that you keep on at him to do it is probably making him not want to leave things for you as he's feeling nagged into doing it. Try being nice to him for a week, compliment him, raise his self esteem and if he feels good about himself then he may want to share this with you. If you keep nagging, there is a possiblity that you will make him feel inadequate and he will look elsewhere. I dont mean to be doom and gloom but he has to enjoy being with you to do things like that and if you are always nagging and in a bad mood????

I am going through a similar situation after having been with my boyfriend for four years. I want a bigger committment and he's not able to give it to me right now. I had to sit down and decide what was more important to me. This man is a rock. He has overlooked all of my bad and patiently listens to me when I complain about things. Don't get me wrong, I have done my share to sustain the relationship, but he's a good man with a good moral standing. He is not only loved by the people he calls friends but by me as well. I guess you have to ask yourself if a ring is so important that you will let it destroy a relationship with a good man. Do you think that you will ever find anyone that is that good. Never mind the little notes. If he takes care of you and your daughter and he's kind and decent to you, if you have a good relationship other than the fact that you aren't married, maybe you shouldn't focus so much on the ring part. I would rather get married when he's ready rather than wondering for the rest of my life if he only did it to please me. Just some food for thought.

I know how you feel...I'm in the same type of situation. I have been with my BF for almost 12 years and we're not engaged either. We have a son and we live together... I often refer to him as DH only because as an adult, I hate referring to him as BF... it sounds so - high school... and we may as well be married! I won't deny that I sometimes get angry with him too, but I have to think of what I have instead of what I don't. And I have to take into consideration the reality of it all. For example, I've been married before... it didn't work out. It was very easy to dissolve the union so I don't view the marriage certificate as security. Also, I have his baby! What more can you have to insure that you will be in each other's life forever??!! Not a ring, not a marriage certificate... A BABY. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying have babies to 'trap' men! I'm just saying that one is more evidence of committment than the other. He's had a baby with you... is a ring really going to prove that he's committed? I hate that the stigma of being a SAHM to my partner means that I do EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. But I wouldn't trade that for being able to be home with my son. I hate that my DH/BF doesn't always acknowledge how hard I work for our family/home. But I see how hard he works for us too... I wouldn't be able to stay home if he didn't work as hard as he does. All that being said, regardless of whether you work outside of the home or not... you deserve to be treated like a lady, you deserve to be appreciated and you deserve to be shown love. It's time to talk to him, openly, honestly, respectfully. Tell him you love him and feel as though you are loosing that special flare because you both are so caught up in working and making sure everything is running smoothly that you both have forgotten to acknowledge WHY you're doing it. This worked for me, at one point: "Babe, I need to you to realize that I do as much for our family as you do. I work hard too. Running a home and raising a family is hard work even if I don't get get a paycheck." Remind him that he always has a clean house, clean clothes, hot meals, your daughter is well cared for... And don't be afraid to KEEP reminding him - even if the reminder is in the form of a strike! Finally, as far as affection goes, take initiative. When he gets home, welcome him home with a hug and a kiss. If you can, on his way out the door in the AM, wish him a good day and flirt..."...I'll be waiting for you to get home." AND FOLLOW THRU! Truth be told, you can't change him. He is who he is and you have to either accept that or move on. If you try to make him into something he's not, your relationship will be doomed. Think back to the great things about him that you fell in love with and hold onto those things... Good luck.