Would it be fair of me to have another child?

I think you can try for other child as you may need assistance at old age, but it is pure luck that you will get Boy ???

If I am in your shoes.. I am more happy to have another child. Dont afraid in problems. If your next child inherit the mental retardation... So what, there is a reason behind that and god will not give you a problem that you can't handle in the future. God bless you.

This is going to sound rough but I can't really help it... I'd beat myself in the head with a hammer for even considering having another child. What.. The world isn't overpopulated enough so we'll add another which might have or carry the gene for mental problems & dumb the population down a little more? Seriously.....

I would have to just sit down and really think about whether or not I was mentally and physically prepared to take on another child with that type of disability. Another child will obviously add stress, and one with a disability will only increase the amount of stress and work. On the other hand, there are so many rewards when bringing another child into your life. They are the most precious gifts we receive in life and each day with them are a true blessing. I think that you and your husband should just talk about your feelings about having another baby, and if the two of you are ready for the added responsibility of taking care of another special needs child (if that would be the case). I wouldn't really worry about your age, unless it really concerns you. Thirty three isn't that old!

My firm belief is that one must have only two children and should not go in for the third what ever the gender of the first two children. I had two daughters and I did not go in for the third child. people kept telling me that I should have a son, but i was firm. I said "What is the third too is a daughter?Where is the guarantee?" even if there was a guarantee that the third child would be a son, i would not have gone for it as I firmly believe that two is enough.

If you are asking the answer is probably no. This is a totally personal choice that you need to consider the consequences of. If you wait much longer since there is problems in your family chances are good regardless of the gender there is a higher chance the baby will have something wrong with it too. You already have two special children will a third child cause you more stress or happiness? It all depends on how you look at life. As I stated earlier if you are wondering whether you should have more children regardless of all the personal information in your heart of hearts you are probably already thinking no.

If you want another child now is the time to do it. As you get older the risks of the child having something wrong increase. The issue of your son's inherited condition... Could you cope with two children with this problem? Having three children so close in age can be dificult when the children are perfectly healthy. Only you can answer the question my dear. You and your husband need to sit down together and talk about the implications short and long term having another child would have upon your family life. I wish you all the best wishes in the world x

Firstly, I sincerely understand the longing for more children. I do! Secondly, 33 is not old when it comes to having children. Thirdly, I wouldn't use the word fair...... But when I read your story, I could hear a contentment in your writing. It might be best to be thankful daily for the two blessings you have and love them with all you have. Give them the life you are on the right track to giving them and pat yourself on the back! You are a loving, caring, mommy as evidenced by your seeking input from others on choosing what is best for your family. I had my first and only child when I was 38. And I was not even close to being the oldest mommy on the maternity ward. From where I stand, your only real decision is that fact you carry this gene, and how your current children will be affected by another child inheritting the gene. Follow your instincts..... mommies have the best in the world!

That is a decision that you and your husband should make. If it were me, I'd stop with the two. Your son is going need more and more attention as he gets older. He might need some form of therapy, i.e. physical, occupational, speech etc. My goddaughter was born with a similar condition. As she grows, she needs more and more therapy and treatments to deal with various conditions including a light form of mental retardation. Her mother, is physically exhausted from the routine of having to go everyday to school, pull her out early several times a week for doctor visits, therapy, special ed classes, etc, etc. not to mention that she has to do certain exercises at home too. It's really a full time job, and she is unable to do much of anything else. I wish you and your beautiful family the best and hope things work out!

You have to follow your heart. If you have another child, that will not take away from your son's needs because he can help with the new baby and he will feel a sense of accomplishment from being able to help. If the next baby is also a special needs child then you will deal with two as you are dealing with one. Don't let anyone else dictate how many children you have. This is a decision that is only made between you and your husband. As long as you have LOVE to give, you do what you heart tells you to do. And remember, God never gives you more than you can handle.

First, having another child is always a form of blessing from above. But sometimes you have to be ready for the consequences, it might be difficult for you. First you have to consider if your family can afford to take care another human being. That includes a lot of stuff. Foods, health care and other necessities for the baby. And to top it all, your son needs you most. However, if you think everything will be fine. Another child is always welcome.

This is a decision that you have to make with your husband based on what works for your family and your lifestyle. Can I ask how you are 100% sure that if you had another son he too would suffer from the same complications- that's rare that the same disease (like you describe) would efffect two children in the same family (in the same family- meaning same parents). Is your son happy- would bringing another child into the family cause you to neglect his needs? Just some food for thought. Remember- God gives you nothing you can't handle (although there are times when it feels like- things are just too hard). Good luck to you and your family!

To be honest, MissAmie, you'll never know unless you do it, right? I have four children and even though the youngest was born at the time I didn't love the exhusband, I still cherish and adore him to pieces. I can't imagine my life without my little Booger Snot because of what he can give to us. Yes, he's a screeching demon right now, but his laughing and cooings, and that mournful "Mem mom" when he's tired just makes up for all of it. *Pleiades

I think that while it would be difficult to care for a child with special needs, if you feel that you could handle it and provide your children with the care they need, there is no reason for you not to try to have another child. My mother was pretty much the same age as you when she had her second child and she turned out fine. I know that there is a small chance that your next child would have the same special needs but there is also a chance that it wouldn't affect them. I think that this is something that only you and your husband can decide but I do know that, if you did decide to have another one, no one would have anything bad to say about it. And in the case that someone did have something to say about it, you just need to remember that you are the ones taking care of your children and loving them, which means that no one else matters but your family. I hope that you and your family live long and happy, healthy lives. Good luck and happy mylotting.

Well, I can tell you this, I am 25 I have three gorgeous kids, but my third was born with a congenital heart disease that made her have surgery when she was born. Now as my chances are double of having another this way. I worry that My mental state would not be great during another pregnancy, and I would be worried the whole time this one would have it too, which would not be a great environment to grow a healthy baby, So, looking at all of the issues, I feel It would not be a good idea to have another one. In your case, I suggest you do the same, and as long as all of the rewards outweigh the consequences and things seem fine, go for it. But it is a decision I would definitely think over just to be sure. But if you decide to, no I do not think it would be selfish on your part. =) Hope I helped

Children are a blessing, and your son is human before any disability. Humans can overcome a lot and still have joyous lives. I think the determining factors should be if you're financially able to deal with the possibility of another disabled child, and if you're mentally and emotionally ready for another infant. You have young children as it is now. I have a 2 and a 1 year old, and I'm amazed that I still have all my hair. The decision to bring a child into the world isn't one to make lightly so take a few months to really think about it before you try again.

I think I'd stop at two. You have two wonderful, healthy children that you love and cherish, you've replaced yourselves and you can give your children a good life. Why have more? I'm glad your son is physically sound and that he has loving parents!

I'm a little bit confused with your original discussion. Are you saying that having another child might affect the amount of time given to your son, thereby affecting him negatively? If so, than you must figure out how much time and attention he really does need and if you are really prepared to take away that attention from your child that needs it? The other thing is, what are the chances the next child would have similar defect as your son? Do you want to take that risk? It is really going to be a personal decision based on how much attention you feel you son really needs, plus the fact that another newborn will demand its own attention time, and of course, the medical percentage of risk. I don't think either way is fair or unfair. You may be alright with having another child and be able to give all your children the proper attention needed. There are families that do well with this. So it really is your decision.

This is definately a choice that you and your husband need to make together and it's really up to you. Everyone has their own opinions, but in the end it will be your responsibility to raise your children and care for them and give them everything they need in life. You should do what is in your heart - but also consider your other children as well. Do what is best for them and for your family.

Well in deciding on how many children, is yours and your huband decision not any one else. However If I was you, I will enjoy my two children but i will not try in having another baby. First having children leads to more work to do, and second if there is a large posibility that the child will have similar problems as your younger child. however it is your decision and what your heart tell you.