What You Want To Tell Mom But Can't...

there are lot of things that i want to tell my mom but i can't b'coz i know that it she has already many problems and tensions so i dont want to increase them

Oh I could write a book on what I wish I could tell my Mother but can't. I want to tell her that I love her, yet I that I hate her. I hate how she was never there for me. That when things got to hard for her to handle she would pawn us off on our father. How my sister needed serious attention, and she never gave it. Oh she tells us she would come visit, then stop calling. I'd love to tell her she was never a mother at all. Oh she let her 2 week boyfriend beat us and hurt us. I'd love to tell her that my baby brother deserve to be raised by a much more mature women then she. Oh she never told us she loved us. Or how one day I may forgive her for all the hurt in my life she's caused. She was never affectionate. ShI want to tell her she's the worst mother ever, but I can't. Because deep down in my soul, she's my mother. The woman whom I am to most right respect. I cant tell her these things, because I've realized through these hard years...it's because I love her.

Well my parents are not the expressive kind either, but anyway I don’t want to tell them anything at all. If I did, mostly grievances would pour out of my mouth and my dad is such that he will keep quiet and mom is such that she will make me feel like an ungrateful sucker of a child. so I lose on both counts…neither do I get them to understand my difficulties in my growing years nor do I get to keep my peace.

I think I have been able to be more expressive with my mom lately but not so much with my dad. There are a lot of things that we never touch base with and I often wonder what he's thinking. But yes, as well as my parent, I am not that expressive.

hi, while reading your post and comments with it, just can't help but feeling sorry for myself.... i am 26 and hardly talked to my father and also mother..... i grew up without a dad, they separated because as they say, they were still young then and can't stand the presence of each other.... i only grew up with my mom and my sister...... i am already married and was able to experience the pain of staying with someone you love but not treating you so nice or the way you think you should be treated.....but that situation was long gone i am now more than better. my point here is i was able to surpass the "can't stand each other" drama, and now still here happy and thankful that i stayed.....i was able to cling to a relationship because i always reminding myself of the long-time effect to my kids if i am to leave my husband. wow, why did my parent thought of that before, is it the word "unselfishness and concern for others" some sort of foreign language for them? my question for my parents are 1.why they choose to give in to that temporary happiness of separating themselves with each other and not thought of the impact may happen or experience by their two kids? 2. without hypocracy, were they happy with their decision then, like after 2 to 3 months after separation? 3. given a chance will they still choose to separate? honestly, still so many questions that's bugging me right now but can't voice it out anymore because i am beginning to feel the pain that i used to feel and thought that was long gone.

I think the best selfless love is parents to their children, so am I. My parents are the kind of parents also, they help us to do everything not strive for any repayment. But when i have a child, i can exactly experience this feeling. For lover, we can say "i love you" ;for child, we can say "i love you". But for our parents, maybe we seldom say that. Maybe we take this love deeply in my heart. However, in future, i think i will do well, not only help parents to do many things,but also sincerely say "i love you".

H[i]i toni, My dad and mom are both expressive about their feelings. " I love you" in our family is very common as well as hugging and kissing! I grew up with that environment and we also exchange cards before and even this time expressing our feelings especially during Mother's day, Father's day and special occasions like birthdays and Christmas. Now that I am far,, we are txting everyday and always end our messages with I miss and I love you! I guess I told them everything, I always tell them how proud I am to have them in my life and I am thankful to God for having them... This is a great post, enjoy![/i]

Coming from a big family of 10 children where I am the 2nd in line I have to admit that I have never feel true love from my parents. Rather I have been directly involved in mothering my younger siblings as my mom keep on producing babies year after year. My parents are from an asian stork and have never shown any kind of closeness to all of us let alone saying the word "I love you' to us. There is no hugs or intimacy between the children and parents in our society or in my family itself. I am totally devoid of love while growing up and that explains why I myself cannot say it out easily in my relationships with my kids. There is a kind of gag that makes it difficult to express the feelings of love. But deep down I love my kids dearly. The only thing my mom shows her love to all her children is by showering us with material things in properties we inherit from her. I think feelings is not very open in most eastern homes compared to western families. This need to be changed, a change to instil more openness in showing love so we all have a loving and caring society.

hi alicia..my father loves me very much..my mother do not express her love to me when i was young...one time my sister and got a fight and tell her about the feelings i have cuz my mother always care for her..that day my mother heard what i told to my sister ..i sa her crying and thats she embrace me afterwards and said i do love you too..i was great feeling..im missing my parents everyday..but i cant see them anymore they already passed away ..have a nice day

hi! you know, after "stumbling" over your discussion here, I felt a tug to my heart. Am happy that your parents had the chance to get to know how much you loved them. I may not have read your article with Helium, but I'm sure it was a great way to express how much you cared for your parents. Yes, there are a lot of things I could have done more for my parents, but never got the chance to when they were still around. No, my parents were not that expressive. But I somehow felt that how they loved and cared for us, their children, was always there, silent but profound. You made me miss them so much, my dear friend.

Hello alicia812! I was really touched after reading your discussion. I remember my parents who are away from me right now. Like you, my parents used to kiss us when we were young but now that we are grown up, they rarely do it. I guess writing them is the best way of telling them how much we love them and how much we are thankful because God gave them to us as our parents. Besides, I don't have the guts to tell them face to face..hehehe

Well my parents are very expressive and vocal about their feelings towards us.Though my father is a bit introvert but he too has shown full interest and attention in letting us know that how he feels for us and how much he loves us.My mother has always been very opened up as far as her feelings and expressions are concerned.Even today when i am married and have a son,she does not forget to kiss me and hug me before i leave for work. I am also very expressive like my parents and show my full affection and live towards my family members.

Hi, alicia812, the topic you bring to us is good, it even made me think a lot after reading what you had wrote and some responsees. Actually both my parents and me are not so very espressive about our feeling, although i know they truely love me so much, 'love' seems to be the hardest word to say when we are together.In fact, it is a question which cufuses me when i think about this situation sometimes. What you have done about this topic gave me some tips, maybe i would take the action you metioned, just write a letter to them and tell how much i care about them. Thanks.

There are lots of words to say but I don't know how to express my feelings.We are family but it is also hard to open my mouth.Maybe write a letter or send a message is a good method.

How I really love her and to thank her for giving me life and a chance to see what life has to offer me! I have said this in my own way many times through the years but not with real emotion and feelings, because in my family we don't show love much and it is a little embarresing showing how we really feel. Maybe I'll take your idea and write her a letter expressing how I really feel, thanks!

I suddenly missed my mom when I read this. I haven't seen my parents for many months now because I have a dispute with my dad. I wanna see my mom and tell her how much I care for her but I couldn't because I can't go home. I wish one day I will hug her again, having a nice talk with her just like before when I have my vacation, give gifts on special occasions and many more. I can't sleep early because I miss my mom so much, sometimes I can't eat because I always think if they have already eaten or not. I am just praying that they are fine. *tears*

I want to tell my parents I feel very tired because I'm working in an unfamiliar city alone. I want to live with them... but I couldn't. I do not want them to worry me. Most of Chinese are not good at expressing their feelings, especially for their families. Every year I go home one time or twice. I will bring them a lot of good things to show how much I love them. But I won't say "I love you" to them.