Something You Should Know About Nursing Homes
By CatsandDogs
@CatsandDogs (13963)
United States
February 28, 2009 2:54pm CST
The majority of us don't want to put our parents in a nursing home however, sometimes we're forced to do the one thing we don't want to do. Most of us love our loved ones very much and want only the best for them. Now we all know that nursing homes are over worked and under staffed and the one's who suffer are the patients. Now this is what I learned from a person that I know. When having to put a loved on in a nursing home, be sure you visit them often, every day is best and at all different hours of the day because the staff will be more in tune with your loved one and will make sure that everything is up to par at all times because they don't know when you'll show up next and they don't want to be caught not doing their jobs. The person who told me this, his mother is in a nursing home and he as well as his siblings take turns on who goes in and when so that their mother gets the care she deserves. Most people don't have visiters and is why they live in such squallar conditions. They don't have anybody checking in on them. Believe me, if I have it my way, neither one of my parents will go into a nursing home but to be quite honest, I don't know what the future holds for me so I don't know if I'd be able to care for them in the way that they would need. I'm not a phsyic so I haven't a clue to the future but if I had to put them in a home, I'd be damned sure to go by there every day to be sure they both are well cared for. No way would I leave them there to "die" alone.
What do you think you'll do when you're parents age? Do you think this information is accurate? It sounds pretty reasonable so yeah, I'll be there every day come hell or high water, I'd be there every darned day!
5 people like this
8 responses
@2yolysempowering (114)
• United States
1 Mar 09
Well both of my parents are deceased sad to say at young age.
however I have shared with my childeren I dont want to be placed
in a nursing facility, being that I have spent years workng in
nursing homes and seen the ends and out, my heart always goes out
to the ones who have no family at all, to let know how they are
being treated good bad or indiffernt. Its hard to find and keep
skilled nursing home workers these days who have compassion for the
elderly.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
2 Mar 09
I'm getting comments all over the board on this issue. Some people believe all is good in all nursing homes but as you and I both know, that's not true. I'm not saying that all are bad because there are some good ones out there but unfortunetly, it's far and few inbetween. I love the elderly folks because they have such interesting stories to tell and if people would give them half a chance, they'd see that. Besides, if it weren't for them, we wouldn't be here.
@2yolysempowering (114)
• United States
4 Mar 09
When we think we're still young we forget we will get there
too. Olderly that is and will want others to treat us nice.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
1 Mar 09
That sounds like pretty sensible advicecats honey. I have to say though that there are some very good homes and some excellent care assistants out there. Sometimes our seniors are actually hapier when they are settled in and used to ther surroundings as they have plenty of company of their own generation to talk to , people who understand the lives they have lead and hardships they have seen etc. Even if they are in the best home on on earth I would still want regular visitors for my loved one -So they would know that they were still loved and hadn't been forgotten about! xxxx
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
2 Mar 09
There are a few good homes out there but unfortunetly, it's far and few inbetween. And depending on the type of home is if they can get around to meet and make new friends as well as engage in the activities at the home. I saw some really bad ones and I've seen some really nice ones in my home town however, that advice came from someone who's mother is in one and the nurse there told him that the reason his mother looks so good every time he comes in is because his family members are always there at different hours of the day. The staff want to look good so they won't be turned in, so the family not only visited to show their love but unknowingly made sure they were caring for her.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
2 Mar 09
It is a very sad but very true fact that not all nursing homes are of an acceptable let alone good standard and the advice you gave was good. I would alos say that you should also vist any home you intensd to put a loved one into at different times and on different days, unannounced to see how it works even when they don't know a visitor is due! Oh how good would it be that there were homnes for our elderly citizens that treated them all as VIPS every day of their lives. xxx
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
1 Mar 09
I was in a nursing home for 4 months and was shocked at the callousness of many people who dump there parents there and only visit when there is a Christmas or some such celebration and they have a nice free meal. Boy do they come droves then, usually the whole tribe, some of them people the residents don't even know or remember. These are also the people who pocket their parents Social Security check!
The nursing home I was in was never in any squalorous condition. Some government Agencies for the Aging always made inspections and asked the residents it they had any complaints. It was really sad to see how pathetically grateful many residents were when my visitors also spend a few minutes with them.
The nursing home I was in was never in any squalorous condition. Some government Agencies for the Aging always made inspections and asked the residents it they had any complaints. It was really sad to see how pathetically grateful many residents were when my visitors also spend a few minutes with them.1 person likes this
@dalyme3 (88)
• Philippines
1 Mar 09
I wish it could be that easy, contemplating on the way our system works nowadays. We can only hope for the best to come. How I wish, how I really wish. considering the way our economy now is, I can only pray for the best. God willing.
@xlinzixx (510)
•
1 Mar 09
I'm sorry i disagree i work in a care home and i love my residents. there's quite a few who don't have family or don't get a lot of visitors but i still give them the exact care i give them to those who gets lots of visitors. you cant just give some of them "extra" care because they get more visitors that's awful the nursing home your friends families in must be absolutely awful. happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
2 Mar 09
It's ok that you disagree but the truth of the matter is that there ARE a lot of bad nursing homes however, there are some good too but unfortunetly, they're far and few inbetween. I, myself, have seen a bad one and I've seen a good one both so I know they're there. However, you must work in a decent one. I applaud your caring for your patients because that's the way it should be but that's not always the case. Boy, I wish it were!! But it's not. Happy mylotting to you too
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
1 Mar 09
I believe that the conditions are like that in nursing homes. I think the majority of them are government funded and therefore aren't exactly staffed well and money towards them is probably very scarce. I don't think I have heard of any nursing home horrors but I am sure there are a lot of them. I take that back, on drama television you see of them, but most people would want to think that it wasn't true. I am glad that you have told us all about this and I hope that more will be done to fund such homes so that if a loved one needs to go there they will be well taken care of. I wouldn't want to see either my mom nor my fiance parent's in one and I think my fiance would agree. However, we would go see them as much as possible, and call them as well if need be.
Again, great discussion, and I hope that everyone gets a chance to read this one!
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Well not all of them are like this for there are some good ones but unfortunetly, it's far and few inbetween. That's why we need to do our homework on each home to find the right one, a good one. Visiting our loved ones also helps to maintain the care that they deserve. Thank you for your kind words!! I, too, hope the word gets out and more sees this in hopes to protect our elderly because of two things, we're going to be old some day, if we're to live that long AND if it weren't for the elderly, we certainly wouldn't be here.
@dreamweaverjan (3471)
• United States
28 Feb 09
Hey Cats! I agree 100%!! One should visit daily and at different times if at all possible;I had to put my Mother into a nursing home during her illness and that was the hardest and most painful thing I've ever had to do, that was almost 12 years ago and it still seems like yesterday to me;Now my aging father and his health issues I've no idea if he is going to wind up in the Veteran's home and that too is and will just kill me if I have to do this to him;I pray he is able to be at home as long as he can be; I just do not want to have to go through this sort of decision again and you know that I will be the one doing it as I have an a$$hole of a jerk~off brother who is just useless!!I pray you never ever have to go through this too, to admit your Mom or Your DAd or anyone into a nursing home but sometimes it is needed; Its so hard! So painful!
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
28 Feb 09
You and I both have a brother that aren't worth two cents so I know where you're coming from. Now don't go beating yourself up over having to do that with your mother. You did what you HAD to do and that's that. It wasn't done out of malice or spite but out of love and wanting the best for her. If you have to do this for your father as well, it would be for the very same reasons, because you love him. Nothing more and nothing less. Afterall, one person can do only so much.
@Cherryd41 (1119)
• United States
18 Sep 09
Hi Cats and Dogs
I can relate to what your saying and if I had my way my mother would never go into a nursing home I used to work in one many years back and let me tell you its just a job to them like anything else .
Now I'm not saying that all nursing homes are unfit nor am I saying that the one I worked for was either it has a lot to do with the staff and supervisors in charge. I have see some things that weren't very good and decided not to work there or for any nursing home or have my parents in one.
THere are stores of patients being mistreated ,abused,unkept facilities ,lying in their own feces and urin for hours sometimes days at a time you can pull up informatoin online about various nursing homes and read the articles.
And yes if someone has to put their parent in a nursing home make sure you take turns checking on them if the staff are aware of regular visits they tend to make sure that particulir patient is taken care of because they don't want any trouble from the family and they don't want to get reported to the management staff.
Preferably I would imagine a lot of people would want to be able to care for their elderly parents themselves for as long as they can but sometimes it just can't be done if special treatment is needed and its great if they don't need to go into a home at all...but you have touched on a few good points that should be standard for anyone thinking of putting their parents in a home.
Good Topic CatsandDogs
