Hopeless Dads

This is not the good character for a father.He must know that spending time with parents will improve the goodness of the child.You must try to change his attitude by advising him when he is happy.Try to tell some great stories about succeeded children and the father's behind them.In this way you can deal with him.All the best for you to change him.Have a good day...

Dear dstableford101, I can totally relate to your discussion. I have been a single mother most of my life. I had my first when i was 22, second 23, and my last of 3 boys, at age 30. The 2 oldest are from a different father, than the youngest. Need to say, neither father was committed to the boys. They both did exactly what your child's father is doing. I got to where I would not tell the boys when him and I talked fro I couldn't bear to see the kids being let down, time and time again. This was also on their birthdays, ans holidays. Talking about some real heart break for us all!! My suggestion is not to include him in anything and pray for him. Maybe he will realize that you all don't have to have him in your lives. It is a privilege to be parent, not a burden. You are blessed to have a child, when so many can't. Move on with your life as best you can, and maybe he will have a desire someday to be a real father and not just a sperm donor.

Do NOT tell you daughter when he makes an arangement. If she is young she will not understand. Do keep a calender that you write on in ink for when he calls and makes arangements, and then mark on the day he cancels. This may sound like a pain but in the end if the court gets involved you have a record. If it happens all the time then tell him that he can choose one day to spend time with her and if he cancels then that is the end of it. Not only is he stressing you out he is abusing his daughter mentally if she knows that he is supposed to visit her and then doesn't. If you have a record of this habit then a court should back you up if it comes to that.