Have you ever lied to your husband/wife about money?
By kayefedilo21
@kayefedilo21 (22)
Philippines
March 4, 2009 10:45am CST
A few months back, my husband and I had a really big fight about money. This weas because I lied to him about the payment for our auto loan. Bad me, I know! This was because a few months before that, I started not paying for the monthly amortization of the loan because I kept using the money for something else and thought that I'll just pay it off later. It so happened that I failed to pay it off until our unpaid balance for the loan reached four months, plus there's that monthly interest. Every month my husband kept asking me if all the bills have been paid since I was in charge of that and I kept telling him yes. Trusting my answer, he never asked for any receipts as proof of payment. But then one day, someone from the bank went to our house and my husband happened to be at home that time. He was inquiring when we will be able to pay the unpaid amount because it was nearing the fifth month. My husband didn't know what to say since the amount was really huge by then. So after that we had a fight. I have absolutely no excuse for what I did and has now learned my lesson. I'm now paying off that unpaid balance bit by bit plus the current balance. So what I want to know is if you guys have ever done this before and what did you do?
4 responses
@tav_8164 (151)
• United States
5 Mar 09
I have lied about having money in the past. The situation was that we were packing our things to move and going thru stuff and throwing alot of things away. Well, I was in charge of packing things while he went thru some papers. He was throwing all the trash on the floor, and I kept asking him if he was sure that what he was throwing on the floor was trash. He kept saying yes. So I started picking up the stuff on the floor to put it in the garbage. A couple of times I'd check envelopes to make sure they really were trash.... well I picked up this one blank envelope and it felt heavy. I looked inside and it had $150 in it!!!!! I set it to the side and kept picking up trash and once again asked if he was checking what he was trowing on the floor and again he said yes.
I was able to hold on to that money for like two months! He was just gonna throw it away and he never said anything about mis-placing money so I don't think I was wrong..... was I?
@kayefedilo21 (22)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
Wow! $150? Wish I could pick up something like that in my husbands trash too! LOL! Anyway, I don't think there's anything wrong with what you did. If I was in your position I would have done the same thing. The fact that you asked your husband if he was sure that what he's been throwing away was trash, that should have given him enough time to think through whether he's been forgetting something. In an almost similar situation like yours, my husband often just throws his work pants into the laundry. He often forgets that he left some money in his pants so when I do the laundry I would find a coupe of dollars or coins in there. And I get to keep it!
@sscott0865 (33)
• United States
4 Mar 09
Yes sorry to say I was in that position also. We fell behind on bills, and I paid what I could. I did get it straightened out, and also I started taking money out of my paycheck and putting it into an account that the husband didnt know about. Well so glad I did that, we always had extra money for things, trips, etc and it saved me when he left. I had money to live on. I always tell my kids, to have your own money. I told my daughter in law they same thing. If you work, have some extra just for you.
@kayefedilo21 (22)
• Philippines
4 Mar 09
It's nice to know that you were able to straighten it out, fortunately I'll be able to settle mine soon. You're right, it's always good to have your own money. My mom also told me that I should take money our from my paycheck also to keep for myself and not give all of it just to have enough for paying bills and I have the right to keep that money because it's mine and I worked hard for it.
• United States
5 Mar 09
Live and learn. When people try to make it about right and wrong, when condemning judgment enters the picture much pain and suffering is sure to follow.
Own what you have done. Make sure you learn from it. Evaluate how it made him feel, how it made you feel, how you lost trust in his eyes, how it will feel the next time he questions you and perhaps does not trust you are telling the truth.
But do not condemn yourself or him. Instead come to understand yourself better and the cause and effect nature of life. Reprogram yourself so the habits of thought and action that caused this situation no longer occur.
Relationships are very difficult when we have not come to understand ourselves or life. This is why I lead a "Relationship Healing Group" and have produced a 4 hour audio program called "The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing." You can find both at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com
Having a coach to help you understand life, yourself and your relationships better is one of the best investments you can make in yourself. DO IT!
Cheers,
Michael Skowronski
Author of "Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story"
http://UnforgettableBook.com
@net101 (157)
• India
21 Mar 09
By nature, we all mistakes here and there, be they are money related or other relationship related. As far this specific incident, your hubby should be wise enough that these kind of things do take place in family and should not be the cause of fight. But in future, you should be careful. Once trust is lost, it is difficult to gain. Why do anything that spoils relations?
One needs to be upfront and honest as far as family matters are concerned. This makes relations more strong and long lasting.
