School wants me to cut my son's hair!!!
By mummyofthree
@mummyofthree (2715)
March 4, 2009 12:41pm CST
My son has been patiently growing his hair as he wanted a mohican. So last night I finally cut it for him. It looked pretty cool! So off to school he went today with his newly cut mohican.
I got a phone call from the deputy head suggesting that perhaps his hair was a bit too long! I said that I was happy not to spike it up for school but I wasn't cutting it.
The deputy head continued to tell me that the style was dangerous! It could hurt another child or get caught and hurt him!! Well I've never heard anything like it in my life!
When I picked him up I found that they had washed his hair and flattened it down.
Do you think that primary schools should be able to dictate the length of a child's hair?
How would you have reacted if this was your child?
5 people like this
23 responses
@raydene (9871)
• United States
4 Mar 09
Hi Doll
My kids had mohawks and mohicans as children
and just recently my 5 year old grandson asked me
to cut his this way also.
With a mohawk you buzz off the sides leaving a ridge
up the middle of the head. The ridge is usually not more then
an inch long so what was their issue?I'd be mad as hell if someone washed my
child's hair without my permission!
xoxoxoxo
2 people like this
@mummyofthree (2715)
•
4 Mar 09
yeah I wasn't overly impressed. But I have compromised and said he will have it brushed flat for school.
It annoys me that they have taken this attitude but I pick and choose my battles and in this instance I have chosen to keep quiet!
1 person likes this
@katb28 (225)
•
4 Mar 09
i think a school has a right to have rules on uniform a hair cuts to a degree but i don't see a problem if you have said you won't spike it up for school, if it is the lenth of his hair for health a safty that they have a problem with then surly they would have to ask every girl in the school to cut there hair to
2 people like this
@Pitgull (1522)
• United States
4 Mar 09
If your son had been a girl, would they have had an issue with the length of his hair? If not, then this is a clear case of prejudice and sexism.
If your son wants his hair longer, hair which is natural, then it should be his right to have longer hair. Read his school dress code policy and see what it says about hair.
I would have an issue with this, and my child may just grow their hair out for the rest of the year....
But I am not a mother....although, I would not be quiet about the issue...
@fluffysue (1482)
• United States
4 Mar 09
I find it interesting they said it was too "long" AFTER you cut it. Obviously they have a problem with the particular style and didn't want to say so at first.
Most schools here tend to have some sort of a dress code. At least they did when I was in school; I can't speak for now as I have no children. When I say "dress code", if it is a public school it might just be something like, "no bare stomachs or visible underwear". At my high school, they did not allow tank tops or flip-flops, I can tell when I pass by the bus stops in June that they are not that strict in this town. I think you should review the dress code for your son's school, and if there is nothing in there about hair styles, then he can wear his hair any way he wants.
1 person likes this
@fluffysue (1482)
• United States
4 Mar 09
I don't think you mentioned if it was a public school. I went to Catholic elementary school where we had to wear uniforms. The principal/teachers could and did dictate everything from acceptable shoes, outerwear, hair length for the boys, jewelry, makeup for girls (none), even fingernail length. That is a different situation, as parents understand that when they sign their kid up. Needless to say I was thrilled with the dress code at my public high school.
1 person likes this
@Jellberlee (30)
• United States
4 Mar 09
Oh I'd be livid! Okay livid isn't even as harsh as I would be. Especially since this is a public school, I can bet that it in no way states styles & hair length in their "dress code". That is completely ridiculous. I have to agree that I am also sick of school systems thinking they can make all the kids as one.
My son is left handed by birth and he had a teacher that told him it was 'unnatural' and she forced him to write with his right hand. Since when did the school decide what is natural, normal or what our kids are allowed to do as individuals within reason?
1 person likes this
@Jellberlee (30)
• United States
5 Mar 09
I've heard that too. I managed to get him out of her class, that was 6 years ago. He is still left handed. Thank goodness.
The hair thing though irritates me. It takes away freedom of expression. Please let us know what happens.
? Jell ?
@tav_8164 (151)
• United States
5 Mar 09
I am so sorry to hear that your son had a teacher that forced him to use his right hand. My son(3) too is left handed and I encourage him to use his left even though his older sister(6) thinks it's wierd. I have heard that being left handed is a sign of higher intelligence, at least in the academic sense:)
@khopkins75 (83)
• United States
4 Mar 09
Well this would have been one mother that would have went off. My son had a mohawk, we loved it. It was just a thing he had been wanting. The school didn't have issues with it. I would tell them that until they make every child in that school dress a certain way and wear their hair a certain that you wasn't doing anything. As for them washing his hair, I would have probably told them the next one that lays a finger on my son would get a lawsuit against them. You are the parent, they have no right to say anything about it. My nephew actually stopped a school before from saying things to him because his pants touched his shoes. The only thing they could do was walk off. They told him to roll up his pants, he told them no and walked off. Then again he is like 6 foot tall and only 15, lol. In my opinion school officials will pick on the ones they think they can get away it with. I wouldn't cut his hair, I stand up for him. And they threaten to do something about it, threaten to go to the papers. They'll back down.
2 people like this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
4 Mar 09
The elementary school that I attended was the same way. Boys and girls had to wear their hair a certain way or they got kicked out of school, but it was harsher than that. Boys had to wear collared shirts and slacks, girls had to wear dresses. It was not until I was in fifth grade, that parents at the school began speaking out about this and one parent swore to sue the school if they did not change the dress code.
1 person likes this
@roniroxas (10560)
• Philippines
4 Mar 09
if i were in your place i would cut my sons hair IF.... i said if. if the reason was a good reason. if the reason is to lame like the reason they just have told you then i wont cut my sons hair. here in the philippines there are school who really dictates the length of the childs hair.... and some school who does not dictate.... but the school who dictates the hair length of the students orient parents. it could hurt another child? why are there spiders on his head? lol.
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
5 Mar 09
Actually I would not mind it if they kindly asked me to do something about the situation as every school likes to uphold an image and want the kids to look a more refined way, that is understandable. However I would not take kindly to anyone touching my child's hair, if they ask him or her nicely to go and wash off the products out that might be a better option.
I wouldn't be too upset about it because there are school's that don't care at all, however those are the kind of schools I worry about sending my kids to. So it really is a matter of choice and preference, it doesn't really matter to us when we are at home but school is school and that is when they do need to wash up and look half decent if they can, in respect of others and the school.
1 person likes this
@MysticTomatoes (1053)
• United States
4 Mar 09
I can see their point, but not about being dangerous. When a child comes in "not looking normal," it causes a distraction. Everyone is going to automatically stare at the person in line at the super market with the pink mohawk or the guy at the gas station with severe burns to his face. It's just human nature to stand there with that dumbfounded look on your face as you gawk at something unsual.
Does the school have a right to dictate how your child dresses or looks? Of course. Otherwise we'd have 14 year old girls walking around in skirts that show everyone their good intentions and boys wearing pants drooping down to their ankles. The school has to set some sort of code even if we don't agree with it.
My DD is not even a year old yet, but she's going to be enrolled in our church's school. Uniforms only. I prefer a uniform to letting your child dress in street clothes actually, but that's just me. No one can make fun of your kid for wearing the "poor people" jeans as you'll all be wearing the same.
You could try to speak with the principal or the super of the school district, but I doubt if you'll get anywhere with them.
1 person likes this
@deanna2 (159)
• United States
5 Mar 09
hi i would have been so mad as i don't beleive a scool should tell our children how to walk dress or look after all it does seem that this is what they are doing i know they cut my sons brand new pants off because they said they were to long and this is the style now and there were more wearing those pants than him.
@wonttakelong (3555)
• United States
4 Mar 09
I am currently in the middle of getting my school districts dress code changed because of this exact same thing
I even started a discussion about it yesturday
what you need to do is read the dress code for the school
make sure that what they claim is really in the dress code
if it is then you need to think about taking steps to get the dress code changed
1 person likes this
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Mummy-
I've a funny story for you. Our son had not had his first hair cut when the in-laws started bugging me to just cut it. I told them he was growing it long for a top-knot. They insisted it wasn't right for a boy to have long hair. So, after being hounded my husband and I took him in for his first haircut at 15 months. (He's only 2 1/2 now). We got him a high-tight faded w/mohawk lol. We even colored (washable of course) it blue!!! Oh, the looks and scowls from the family was priceless. It was one of those "Hair cut $20.00, Style $5.00, Starbucks treat $8.00. Look on in-laws faces-Priceless" moments.
Even as a school teacher there are dress code polices that I just have to shake my head at. I saw one that once said "only one piercing per student", I'm like "Umm, pierced ears counts as two?". Or "No tattoos shall be worn period". I'm like, well I aint having my erased for a job.
I feel for the kids today. Like another already said, if it had been a girl she'd be ok. I mean, girls can color, cut, weave, extend, etc the heck out of their hair and not one person says a word. My husband goes to work with blue hair and is asked not to do it again.
I'd go to the school board or board of regents and petition to have the rule changed. Consult an educational attorney if you need to know the law.
Good luck-Anora
1 person likes this
@nixxi76 (3191)
• Canada
5 Mar 09
When I was in high school, this guy grew a beard. He started looking scrubbish and the school started noticing it and told him that he was going to have to shave it or keep it at a tidier look. He went against the school board and it got so bad until he finally got the media involve. He won his rights to grow his beard and made history at our school.
I say that school had no right to touch your son's hair at all! Who gave them the right to physically touch his hair? I've seen kids at my son's school with that hairstyle and never heard anything like your story. I would keep doing your son's hair or let him do it and ignore them.. if they keep it up then call the media! It's student's rights.
@kingmax24 (67)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
I don't know what's with the people in school that they hate so much boys with long hair. For me, they should give the children a little freedom. what's wrong with boys with long or unusual hair styles?.. I don't believe their reason. Hairs don't harm anyone. They're lifeless..^.^
@lynne3171 (80)
• China
10 Mar 09
I think no matter what school is.School has the right regulate the lenght of students' hair. I think they go to school to lean so that they needn't to care about their appearance too munch .If he was my son ,I would try to let him look spirited.I think a handsome boy should have a short hair,because it can let he look clean. It's just my opinion.
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
businesses need to control almost anything it can control. unconsciously, your child's school is aware of this.
it would definitely break my heart if that was my child. after giving him his longed for haircut and then having to cut it immediately to re-style it would have me at the principal's door the next day.
@tav_8164 (151)
• United States
5 Mar 09
I could see if your son was in wood shop in middle school and having to work with belt sanders or something how it would be dangerous..... but to just dictate a form of personal expression and/or individual style is ridiculous AND retarded!!! I am a mother of two and encourage individualism and freedom of expression in both. No one has a right to dictate your child's style, especially if it is not hurting anyone. I would have taken it as insult that they don't think me competent of knowing what is or isn't good for my child. However I too would have agreed in not charging(spiking) his hair during school as it may be destracting to other students or teachers:)
•
11 Mar 09
Foreal well i have 2 kids they drive me nuts, and i cant be able to do what i have to do..But they are my love of my life nothin to discuss about... hehe