15 Rules
By craftcatcher
@craftcatcher (3699)
United States
March 4, 2009 2:58pm CST
Whenever my band has a gig, it is just about guaranteed that someone in the crowd will break one or more of the rules. What rules you might ask? Well, whenever you have to deal with people drinking copious amounts of alcohol who are also listening to a live band playing loud music, things can get... what's a nice word for it... interesting! Anyway, a good friend of mine, who is also a musician in a rock band sent this to me. I thought I was going to fall over laughing.
15 Rules To Follow When You Go Out To See A Band:
1. Yelling out requests between songs is acceptable. Yelling out requests during the middle of a song is rude.
2. If the band doesn't know the song you requested...yelling louder, more frequently or waving your arms will not increase your chances of success.
3. Yes, we heard you... yes, we're ignoring you.
4. Knowing the actual name of the song you're requesting always helps. If you start out your request with, "You know that one song that guy always does..." Refer to Rule #3
5. Requesting "Freebird" at the top of your lungs from the other side of the bar is sort of funny.....once. Refer to Rule #3
6. Even if your friends told you that you sing better than *insert rock star name here* at the Karaoke club last Wed. night ...do not ask to come on stage and sing with the band.
7. Shots = cool. Attempting to deliver shots to a member of the band during a song = not cool. Do not get upset when we refuse to immediately stop the song to accept your generosity. You see that big wooden thing we're standing on....yeah, that bad boy will hold the shots just fine until we can get to them.
8. Again, shots = cool. Buying shots right before a set that have the taste and potency of backwoods West Virginia moonshine, that make your lips curl into your mouth and touch that thing that hangs down in the back of your throat, that leave you unable to take in a breath for 5 minutes = not cool. Better to ask for a preference.
9. Asking for the set list after the show....no problem. Stealing the set list during the middle of the set... problem.
10. Complimentary praise and high fives after a show are always welcome. It's always nice to have your hard work appreciated. However, patting a musician on the back and attempting to engage in a conversation when the musician is trying to take a leak is just creepy.
11. After the show, if you wish to demonstrate how to correctly play the lead riff in a cover song... don't. If you want songs note for note please stay home and listen to your cds. We did it just the way we wanted to. Consider it artistic expression.
12. Ladies, if you get liquored up and you insist the band autograph a part of your anatomy...don't be bitter if you end up with a smiley face on your butt. Along those same lines, it's probably not a good idea to follow the band outside and have them sign your body out by the trailer when your hubby/boyfriend is inside at the bar. Pretty sure he's not going to share your excitement.
13. Ladies, if you feel the need to constantly flash everybody and the people around you, even the drunk guys in your immediate vicinity, encourage you to stop...it's probably time to stop. Although this is rare there's probably a good reason for their reluctance to want to see Pancho and Lefty.
14. Touching instruments, microphones, PA equipment or any other paraphernalia on stage is a big no-no. Spilling your drink on or falling into said items is bad for your physical well being and finances. Best to keep a safe distance.
15. Last but not least, please re-read Rule #3.
Oh boy I could probably add at least a dozen more but I'll leave it at these.
To make this a discussion, have you ever had a job where you have to deal with the public and people do the same annoying things over and over again?
2 people like this
6 responses
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
4 Mar 09
oh god..i roadie occasionally..
you're almost positive to hear "hey man,play freebird" at least once a night
although "moby d*ck" comes in handy if anybody but the drummer has to pee
and they get back before it ends
let me add:
don't steal my duct tape when i have to tape up a new song list that you stole.
don't pull down the mic stand to sing and/or steal picks
don't call the singer over and try to pull them off stage..or the guitarist for that matter..
don't try to hide backstage while the band is onstage or we'll send the band wives in after you.
you can't have free merch..maybe i'll give you a left over pick if you stay out of my area.
please don't get soundman drunk before the show if there's no backup.
let me add:
don't steal my duct tape when i have to tape up a new song list that you stole.
don't pull down the mic stand to sing and/or steal picks
don't call the singer over and try to pull them off stage..or the guitarist for that matter..
don't try to hide backstage while the band is onstage or we'll send the band wives in after you.
you can't have free merch..maybe i'll give you a left over pick if you stay out of my area.
please don't get soundman drunk before the show if there's no backup. 
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Seems I've spent most of my life in a bar in one way or another. My Grandfather owned a bar for years and when I was a kid there were times I had to go down there to wait for my Mom to get home. I had a great time in there. People would give me money to play the game machines.
There are also several musicians in my family so I went to watch them play many times. When I was in my mid 20's I was a bartender for about 4 yrs. And now as a singer my band mostly plays in bars.
To say the least I have a lot of funny and not-so-funny stories!
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Oh I bet.
Heres one for ya.
While running that bar. I caught this feller smokine a joint! and then I knew he had already drank about 3 pints of wiskey.
But when he started to make a pass at myson and others boys there my son was around11 or 12.the ohters younger.
My son came to me and told me well his dad heard it.
My hubby followed this feller toward the bathroom when he hit that feller the feller took down the bathroom doors as he went down.
And ya thought it was over till after we got him out he came back with a cow leg bone dont know where he found it.
The owner was tring to keep him out but he got in hit my hubby with it knocked him out hit me with it I felt myself being carried back to the bar room.
When I got my sinces back.
I say where patrons had kicked him under a table and one feller under there hitting him so hard it was making the table dance.
Got him out finally . FOund out later he stumbled home just up the hill.
About a week later my hubby saw him at the gas pump the fellers face was a mess and had hubbys knuckle prints on jaw.
Hubby asked feller ( very inocent) what had happened to him
.
He told hubby that he had fell in a hole! lololol thats all he knew.
But he also found hiself 86 out of that bar!
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Ouch, I'll bet that cow bone hurt, like getting hit with a baseball bat! Good that the other customers took care of him, but too bad he didn't admit to it though. There aren't too many guys who would stand there and say, "Well I got stupid drunk the other night, caused some trouble and got the crap beat out of me."
@Darkwing (21583)
•
5 Mar 09
Only when working behind the bar of the local pub, and I guess I could write a real long list of rules for that, but I'd rather cuff 'em upside the ear and send them home! lol.
I love the list your friend drew up... it's very funny. He could come and do one for the local if he likes. I don't work there any more but it would be a good wheeze to have it hanging on the wall in there. Ha ha ha.
Brightest Blessings, my friend. Hope you're feeling a bit better. Hugggggggs.
@Darkwing (21583)
•
6 Mar 09
Lol... that sounds like a good idea to me, my friend!
I hope you ARE getting better. Just don't overdo it in here, will you. It can be very taxing of your energies at times.
Poor Steve, he must think that somebody up there has it in for him. I hope things improve for him soon.
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
5 Mar 09
I think every pub, tavern, bar or club should have a "what not to do" list on their wall! Not like anyone would read it but if anyone started any trouble and you DID have to whomp them upside their skull, you could always point to it and say, "You obviously didn't read the list!"
I think I'm finally on the mend. Still very tired and sleeping a lot but definitely a little bit better. Thanks for asking!
The bad luck streak is still running though. Steve blew up his computer last night. I mean shorted it out, blew up the fuse, smoking wires... he's darn lucky he didn't start a fire. He wanted to try something, I told him not to and exactly what would happen if he did, he did it anyway... it did exactly what I said it would do. It's less than a year old and now it's completely fried. Less bad luck and more plain stubborn stupidity. Speaking of someone needing whomped upside the skull!!! 
I think I'm finally on the mend. Still very tired and sleeping a lot but definitely a little bit better. Thanks for asking!
The bad luck streak is still running though. Steve blew up his computer last night. I mean shorted it out, blew up the fuse, smoking wires... he's darn lucky he didn't start a fire. He wanted to try something, I told him not to and exactly what would happen if he did, he did it anyway... it did exactly what I said it would do. It's less than a year old and now it's completely fried. Less bad luck and more plain stubborn stupidity. Speaking of someone needing whomped upside the skull!!! 1 person likes this
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
4 Mar 09
Hey CC
It's amazing how rude and stupid people become when drinking. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I've done my share of stupid things while having too much fun. I used to be a bartender in a nice bar lounge up in the Mountains in California. Trying to tend bar while the band was playing was quite a trick. Of course my end of the bar was only about 15 feet tops from the band. That was in the early 80's when everything was ordered verbally. Of course everyone sitting at the bar thought you were their personal bartender. They couldn't understand why they had to wait just because we had a bar full of drinkers and only 2 bartenders. Of course they showed me by not leaving a tip. But then many didn't need a reason not to tip. No matter what though, I wouldn't trade those 5 years for anything. I finally went to days and then danced the night away. Those were the days. Thanks for the memories CC. Hugsssss
leenie
@craftcatcher (3699)
• United States
5 Mar 09
Hi leenie! Glad I brought back some memories for you. I think we've all had our moments when we were younger that's for sure. Some of the things I've done I'd like to forget! They make for some good stories now though
Hugs
Hugs
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
5 Mar 09
Hi Jo,
Those people will never learn, no I have never been in that position with the public and when I was they were all well behave as there were no acholic beverages around, looks like you had a hell of a time. Love and hugs.
Tamara
xxxx
