Do you remember when you got married?
By TRWilliams02
@TRWilliams02 (349)
United States
March 5, 2009 5:57pm CST
So I'm planning on getting married this year and have been in a bit of sticker shock when it came to putting this together. Since my fiance and I are paying for our wedding ourselves we have opted to not have a wedding planner so in turn I get left with the wonderful planning of our big day. Talk about a headache! I've been watching those Wedding shows on WE channel. So Bridezilla, For Richer. For Poorer, Etc. Anyways, one thing I saw were these couple who were together for a long time, who spent very little money on the wedding/reception and they were together for 15+ years and so on. You have couples these days (I don't see how, but anyways different discussion) who are spending thousands if not a couple hundred thousand on a wedding and I wonder if they will last. How much did your wedding cost? Did you think it was worth it in the end to have a ceremony and reception or would you have rather run off and eloped?
I've been debating a lot of decisions that go into a wedding because in the end I know its just the two of us who matter and everyone else is just there.
A lot of people have also making the suggestion of getting married at the justice of the peace and having a wedding ceremony/reception later. What are your thoughts on this? I think in my perspective its a little funny. But I do understand in some circumstances its what you have to do. Let me know your thoughts...
2 people like this
9 responses
@sandymay48 (2030)
• Canada
6 Mar 09
Hi TRWilliams....this is my honest point of view..I planned my wedding too and planned not to spend a lot of money on a few hours!...I did not spend a lot on my dress either..I will tell you why...
The whole idea of getting married is to spend the rest of your life with the one that you love. I therefore invited only family and a few close friends to share this day with us. We chose to get married outdoors, I give enough to the church, We chose to use the restuarants back room for the dinner, it was free of charge so why rent a big hall. The staff had agreed to move tables afterwards to allow for room to dance.
The restaurant catered the dinner buffet style from their party menu..No mess no fuss. I made my own wedding cake. It was tiers of cupcakes so no sloppy mess..It was well decorated with lights and miniatures.
My dress was beautiful and I bought it very cheaply. An end of a line special.
My theory on the dress and spending too much money is this..why spend so much money for one day that will be over so quickly when the real journey is just beginning.
Years later, you will look at the photos that you paid a fortune for , the photographer and for everyones dress, and you will giggle at how outdated you look.
That few minutes will be over before you know it...The important part of the marriage is the ceremony and meaning of it, not how you look or what you do.
@sandymay48 (2030)
• Canada
6 Mar 09
IN the end, I had 35 people all well fed, a lovely wedding, and all under $1000
I paid $125 for my dress. The picture does not do it justice
@TRWilliams02 (349)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Thanks for your response! =] It sounds like you had a blast at your wedding and boy am I jealous you got married near the water. Unfortunately we don't have a lot of places that are water front like that without having to take a drive. I've always dreamt of getting married by the water but our once set June date has now been postponed to December. So no more water...
@sandymay48 (2030)
• Canada
7 Mar 09
Yes our wedding turned out perfect..It was down right at the waterfront..The restaurant has docks where you can pull up your boat and come in for dinner...We were married outside by the gardens, in front of the water
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
6 Mar 09
Personally I didn't see the need for a big fancy wedding. So my husband and I eloped! We got married downtown at the county clerk's office 14 years ago. And it was just the two of us so they had to get a witness for us. LOL But the ceremony was nice. The only thing I regret was that my husband and I forgot to bring the camera so we have no pictures from our special day.
My own parents had a big wedding and I'm guessing reception. I'm not sure about the cost, but it looked pretty darn big. They divorced 20 years later.
Big or small, I don't think it really matters what size the wedding is. Only time will tell if you are meant to be together forever.
Good luck!
@TRWilliams02 (349)
• United States
7 Mar 09
I have to agree. I think it doesn't matter the size of the wedding you could have a big wedding and still not work out in the end. Thanks for your response!
@Aurone (4755)
• United States
6 Mar 09
Well, now I wished I hadn't spent money on my marriage as I am now going through a divorce. But I had a lovely wedding that I planned myself and had beautiful pictures that would have been a lifetime of happy memories had my husband opted to stay with me.
I think it cost me somewhere between 5-8 thousand for my wedding. I found a venue that did the ceremony and reception in the same place. They provided the food, the cake, and the DJ, the lines and tables and chairs. All I had to do was choose a menu from their selection and choose my colors. My brother was our officiant. My dress and the bride maids gowns were inexpensive and I hired a florist and photographer that were familiar with the venue. It all worked out so well and we all had a lovely time. I had about 100 people at my wedding. Too bad the marriage didn't last.
@TRWilliams02 (349)
• United States
7 Mar 09
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. I had a friend of mine recently go through one and he had a really hard time with it. I have one place I am looking into that we may be able to do the same place but a lot of the local community buildings we have in our area are limited. My fiance is not a religious person what so ever so a church was out for us. I have realized my best bet so far is a major DIY wedding. Tonight I am attempting to bake a cake that will be a similar mock up of what I will have at our wedding. Thanks for your response! =]
@rakittera (802)
• Philippines
6 Mar 09
Hi! I got married in 2004 in the Philippines. I planned the entire wedding and hubby and I shared the cost. Converting pesos to dollars, the cost of my wedding that time was a little over 7,000 dollars. But this is already considered cheap considering we had 200 guests and we had to pay for food, venue, photo-video coverage, cake, gown, etc. Our country is predominantly a Roman Catholic country and getting married in the church is preferred. I wanted an event I could remember for the rest of my life, thus the cost that came with it. It's really up to you whether you want to hold the ceremony in a church or at the justice of peace. What's important is that whatever you decide on, you have talked about it with your husband to be. Finances are always a big consideration when it comes to a wedding and I suggest you set a budget that you are comfortable with and stick to that budget. A wedding is just a ceremony, marriage is a lifetime and that's what you should work on more. But do not discount the fact that this is a very special event that you should share with the people you love. Good luck and take care!
@mariposaman (2959)
• Canada
6 Mar 09
The nicest wedding I attended was a small wedding in a small country church with only the immediate family and a few friends. No big show of wealth and pretense.
I think most wedding seem to be an effort to show off, few people need hundreds of people to attend their wedding, it is all pretense. I am usually aghast at the thousands of dollare people pay for weddings and do not question the prices because it is her "special day"
At one time a wedding was to pass on the woman as a chattel from the father to husband as she was a virgin and dependent on men for her livelyhood and welfare. That is why there are all those rituals surrounding the wedding. The giving away of the bride from father to groom, the white dress to signify chastity and virginity, the garter, etc. Nowadays the women is usually neither chaste nor virginal, and is usually self sufficient financially or could be, and the idea of spending up to the price of a house on one day is foreign to me.
I know I sound like a Scrooge, but I would hope if I ever get married it will be a nice modest affair to mark the occasion, but would not be a huge spendthrift event.
@MissAmie (717)
• United States
6 Mar 09
I remember the day I got married vividly, even though it was almost 13 years ago! We paid for our own wedding too, and we planned it in a hurry. From the time we decided we were for sure getting married and started telling people, we had 1 short month to get it all set up.
We did it, and hardly spend any money. We bought inexpensive wedding bands, my mom picked up the caterering, my mother in law bought my dress (which, BTW, was from a 2nd hand store), so all we really got was the place; a park we rented for the day for around $40 and decorations. Another few bucks on jewelry and bridesmaid's dresses and tuxes for the groomsmen...
We spent well under $1,000 and are still going strong 13 years later. Money and the cost of the wedding have absolutely nothing to do with how long the marriage will last. It all depends on if you love each other and if you are good at compromise!
@shenyujie (9)
• China
6 Mar 09
My Maomao and me planed to get married at the beginning of next year:)) So I will soon know the wedding date haha.
And on 19th of this month we will take our wedding pictures. Of course a lot of things have to be prepared.
About the money we spend on the wedding, I think after all we all don't want to have a 2ed wedding date. So don't be too chinchy:) Of course we should do according to our financial situation. Lavish on wedding can never show the true love between a couple.
So enjoy the wedding time with relax.
@LynnLan (4)
• China
6 Mar 09
Having a wedding ceremony , means you are married and will get many well-wishing.and will leave you good memories .
But if you are thinking of the money problem ,then you could choose without the ceremony, as long as you both love each other ,you will not care about the modelity.
