Just Plain confusing?

Hi Darrel,...I feel I have just completed reading one chapter of your novel after reading your response. Trust is a heavy word to carry in the heart when it comes to love affairs in the virtual world. But is there any possibility of falling in love in the virtual world? I wonder? How could one possibly fall in love with someone in the net? With no eye contact, with no physical touch but only with the meeting of the minds in words written on the screen, do you really fall for that unknown virtual friend? Based on what you wrote here, you sound to be more experience about love in the virtual world, care to share with us. Maybe a writer can dramatize a virtual world love affairs better as you have that artistic mind.

ok let me try... Many years ago, during WW II especially, people, families were seperated by the war. Families were strown all over the world and everyone was a stranger. People that had become your friends were suddenly called enemies and communications were often not allowed. Notes and letters became the way of communication. People were encouraged to write families that had been displaced. Through the writings, many found love. A true Love that existed but only on paper, very much like our screens here.Their love was based on what they told each other and though i am sure that there were liars and false people then as well as now, for the most part, after writing over and over and over, they would come to know one another as if they had sat beside them. Their love grew and many married and lived the rest of their lives together. Here, it is the same except that the internet has brought the north and the south pole to the same side of the earth. No longer is it a weeks wait in between for responces or 5000 miles between us but a slimline flat screen is all that seperates our worlds. that and the speed of one e-mail reaching me and mine reaching back to her. Even faster are the IM's we can send to one another and the realness it can create. Love does happen here and 31% of marriages or partnerships are now from on-line meeting. the ratio to staying together versus a "traditional" meeting such as work or through friends is almost exactly preportioned out. So are your concerns about how fake one might be or how "fictional" someone might be bonafide? Of course they are. No different than if you met someone in the market you would want to be sure and know they were real. Is it different here, in this "Virtual" world? I think a little yes. Sometimes we can tell a persons truths and lies by their eyes, their body language, how they react to certain questions or situations. HERE, you cant see their eyes or their movements. So then, how can you know? If you are feeling love or a closeness with someone here, you want to be around them more. That is where you open YOUR Eyes and Senses. You use that God given intuition and you read their words carefully. Watch their daily life , which if you are falling and getting CLOSEASTHIS, lol, then you are exchanging what you are doing with your days or nights. You talk about your family, friends, that you got a haircut or bought a new outfit today. You talk about what scared you today or what made you stop and think of the one you love. You tell intimate secrets and even share family skeletons at times. And each thing revealed is an open door to look in and se if this person is real or not. They may tell you something and a week later say something different. If you see a pattern then it is probably a sign to get out. My father taught me this... if you alwaysssss tell the truth, you never have to worry if you told it the same the second time. ;) Smart man...... Will you always know? Are there those out there, Predators i call them, that go from heart to heart stealing all they can and doing it in such a way that you didnt even see it? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Godness, yes. the net is full of them JUST LIKE in the "real" world, as some call it. This too me is as real as any other place. The hearts are real, the smiles are real, the LOVE IS REAL. You simply have to use your head and guide your heart a little more. If you share your heart and it feels right, then MOST of the time, it is real. Flowers sent to you in the mail do not make it real. there are predetors out there that dont have an issue with dropping 50.00 bucks for flowers if they think they will get so much more in return ater they scam you. Heaert felt communication, understanding, respect and that kindnes that can be felt will say more than flowers. I hope this will help just a little. My words to you all. BE Careful, Be smart, Be watchful and always, always... be YOU.

I think mylot is going to charge you for occupying a big space here with your long write up. Just joking. I asked for it and now you have come up with a detailed account of your second chapter which had fully satisfied my curiosity regarding what may transpire in the romeos and juliets of the virtual world. Thank you for this information and I come to the conclusion that anything can happen when it comes to the matter of the hearts.

Maybe I am just being sceptical with people in the cyberworld. I am quite honest but there are limits in giving out my personal bio-data.

Your question is difficult for me to answer. If I say I come here to earn the pennies then it is not worth the time I spend cos mylot payment is pathetic. I have been here quite sometime now and never tire of being in mylot simply because I have made many friends over the years and most of them are closer to me than my real friends. Maybe I just like to socialize here and share lots of ideas with others globally.

I'm not talking about "hooking up" with someone. Sharing your experiences and parts of your life and getting that back in return. I don't give out my personal data such as phone# and address. If I share that I have kids, am married, whatever...I think people all have different reasons for why they are on mylot. you can tell the people who are all about themselves and only interested in money. and the phoney people and stuff. you are very sensitive and "deep". I am not very trusting but sometimes you can tell and really, what are your intentions for being on mylot?

Yes I think I have to agree with you on this. Once there is a trust it is good to share with likeminded people.

That is so true riyasam!

Well if you trust your friends, being honest should be no problem.

It is not necessarily a small fiction about yourself but a small truth about yourself. Of course, we have to be smart enough to know what kind of things we can share and what thing we could not divulge. But you know, confusion like that does not only happen in a virtual world. In real life, you can not just trust everyone. Even people you call your friends can also betray you. I guess, what is important at the end of the day is you are being true to yourself, you don't hurt other people intentionally and you feel good about sharing or knowing or learning things from other people.

LOL....No offence made antiquelady. I don't care whether he has a nest or no nest. For all I care he takes care of his nest well and be honest here. So much better if he has a comfortable nest so there'll be no string attached. Mylot is afterall a free trade zone.LOL...

it was just me i guess. i had never mentioned that on here before. u are just too easy o talk to. lol. guess i was feeling guity about even mentioning it. u din't upset me. i got over being upset over that years ago. have a great sat.

sincerity should always be the order of the day when you want to have many friends in the virtual world.

Thanks a lot for accepting my request for the friendship ans understanding.I have gone through your discussions and I find them good with substance.Happy that I am your friend now.

Welcome to my world of friendships. I appreciate your honesty and this is a great way of fostering friendships in the virtual world. I understand what you mean and I think no one would like to carry a heavy burden of emotional baggage either in the real or virtual world.

Well Zandi I can't believe a whole month has gone by and I did not respond to this. Thank you so much for giving me best response. I am greatfull that my words were that meaningful to you. You received many great answers and I am very flattered that you chose mine. Thank you very much.

I am glad that this post attracted many people that I least expect to come forward as it is thought provoking, as you said, and requires extra thinking to response. But I like the answers and advice you gave here. Certainly it will guide me throughout my existence in the virtual world. You are a very knowledgeable person and as a novice in the the cyber-world I gained so much from reading your responses.

How true, it is better to know yourself rather then asking and be confused with the answer from our virtual friends.

Maybe I should apply for a 'Counseling' job in mylot since there are many that are carrying heavy emotional baggage.

O it is true, it is damn true. This was a quote from a wrestler from World Wrestling Entertainment. But with a friend like you, people would be bound to ask questions from you about their problems

I think being in the net you feel safer to divulge what ever you wish as your confidentiality is well kept unlike in the real world, it is uncomfortable to spill the beans to people you know well.

That's very true - it's as if your life can be safely unwrapped in a virtual world. that's why I can't create a false persona - I bare my soul on the net in a way I would never do in face-to-face life (I was going to say, "in the real world," like we're all made out of pixels or something on here!) So lying would be a kind of self-betrayal. Why bother to say anything if you can't speak the truth?

What a beautiful compliment you have for our virtual friends. I dare say you are going to draw in many virtual friends in mylot in a very short time with your honesty and soft approach to friendships. I salute your stand and your belief that virtual friends are honest people and should be treated with your honest self.

I admit that I'm a new entrant in mylot and I need many friends. I also a new entrant in real society and need many friends, too. But I don't depend on compliment as you said. In my opinion, even I meet someone who is deceitful, he/she can't be hurt me. Maybe what I thing is simple than reality. Maybe I need meeting someone who is deceitful with some hurt. But I'm glad there is no one doing such thing. I'm lucky that I haven't meet such guys or gals. God bless me not to meet them for ever. But anyway, what your said is an alert to those who has not recognise the danger of internet. It's very useful and practical.

Hi Rajib, I am glad the post created an impact and made somebody think hard why this discussion is made. LOL What ever you think inspired me to write is anybody's guess. Well, I will never go beyond the boundary of asking personal life. Why should I? Something must be kept locked in the chest and not for public scrutiny.

There is not much difference between the virtual and real friends. Both are capable of deceit. Whatever it is common sense is vital to make our final judgement whether our friends are honest or not.

Do you believe this:sometimes I express my thought,my secret,and my heart in the virtual space,but without telling my best friends my true mind;sometimes I lie in the internet,for example,telling a guy that I am a girl.It deponds on me and the situation and I can contral it.The most important thing is :I can feel who I am.I believe that it is a charming factor of the virtual.

First, I welcome you to this crazy world of mylot. I am sure you will enjoy all the discussions here and learned the different views of the people here. It is fun to be in an international social site. Yes, I am a good listener.

you will learn to take each with a grain of salt!

I am still learning the 'tricks of the trade' of being in the virtual world. Words can easily blind me into believing every words said.

Comparatively, I am a greenhorn when it comes to meeting and having live chats online. Even when I first joined mylot I was not that too 'friendly'. I do normal things like posting and responding but not until lately I confuse myself when my antenna sprout out and received signals from all corners of the globe, taking me by surprise of how some people can be drawn to me and vice versa. I know virtual friends are real people like you and me loaded with emotions. I was moved by the beauty of words they say and it didn't take long before my knees turned jelly and my heart weakened. But suddenly I wake up from this fantasy world and realize that some words said are over sensitized and my honesty send wrong kind of signals. There I have it, I hurt people with my honesty and now am trying to be neutral and working closely with logics and reasons whenever I am asked.

It's not easy zandi I agree. Try to be yourself but be on guard too

Of course it is always good to say the truth but certainly it has it is limit.

Very true, but instead of lying you just don't say anything. I don't understand why people lie about themselves, if you read several of their posts you can often tell it's untruthful. My step-dad always told us, "liars get found out because it's easy to remember the truth.

I agree with you fully here. Interacting with the same people here daily can more less sum up their characters or personalities with the ways they put up their words. On my part I have seen people who are really caring, extremely friendly, sensitive but they are no less shocking characters around. Words are beautiful and they can draw people to us and maybe unconsciously my link the mind to the heart. LOL

Sometimes I think that perhaps words and distance are benefits. We get to know people from their minds and hearts outwards. For the few that actually get to meet in person, the last thing seen is the 'shell' that holds it all together.

You are right...why beat around the bush. Just be who you are at all times regardless of where you are.

Hello my dear zandi458 Ji, So nice of your positive comments. Let's have normal and easy way of living.May god bless you and have a great time.

I think it is good to be truthful to people here as we interact regularly.