CREEPY, Help?
By LilPixelle
@LilPixelle (828)
United States
March 7, 2009 1:19pm CST
Why does it seem like the only guys who find me attractive are like 40 years my senior?
Ok, So I was walking down mainstreet taking down the posters I had put up a couple weeks before (Advertising a church function) and this guy, looked about 50-60, Started talking to me, right? Ok, So usually I take this as innocent, Because usually it is, people are just friendly here, you can wave to a total stranger and its normal for them to wave back, and its not too out of the ordinary for someone on main street, even a complete stranger to start talking to you. Well this guy started talking to me, and he volunteered information about where he lived, (like street adress and apartment number.) and that he lived alone. He asked me where I lived, So I gave a slightly confused expression and "Somewhere around here." and laughed, He complimented me saying I am a very pretty girl, I politely thanked him and proceeded to take down one of my posters, And then he asked if I had a boy friend, I said no, because I don't, then he asked if I was married, and I'm like "No, I'm only 16." and he got all shocked, "Only 16? You look more like 18 or 19 to me." Fairly shortly after that the conversation ended and he left. THAT IS SO CREEPY!
Ok, He seemed to leave fast after I said I was only 16, But I try very very hard not to lie, and am a bit worried about what I do with situations like this after I turn 18, How do you say "I'm not interested in the least" When the guy isn't even straight out asking you out or something? You know what I mean?
4 people like this
10 responses
@hanasays (212)
• United States
7 Mar 09
It happens to me a lot. Of course, I'm 25 now. On the other hand, I look younger than I am.
I've had creepy older guys hit on me at work, or just in general, and the best thing to do is be polite -- but only polite -- but once they start asking stuff like "do you have a boyfriend" answer that it's none of their business. Don't worry about being rude. First, a man that age is delusional to think that a woman your age is remotely interested in him. If he gets embarrassed or offended, he got what he deserved. He has no right to ask things like whether or not you have a boyfriend, especially when it makes you uncomfortable. And if a guy asks things like "Where do you live", that is WAY, WAY out of line. You don't ask a woman you just met where she lives! If he asks you questions like that, you are perfectly within your right to say "That is none of your business" and walk away. You have no obligation to be 'nice' to a man who is 40 years your senior and asking where you live!
1 person likes this
@LilPixelle (828)
• United States
8 Mar 09
I don't think I could be that bold on a first advance, unless I was already in a super bad mood XD lorl I know I have no obligation, but I want to anyway, even if he asks too forward of questions, I guess I might just be looking for an easy answer out of it... and looking at the replies on this board, I'm starting to think that it's one of those things where there just is no easy answer out of it.
1 person likes this
@hanasays (212)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Unfortunately, there's no easy way out of it. As another person mentioned, they see you as being 'vulnerable'. If you aren't direct about being uninterested, then the creepy 60 year old is going to continue bothering you. He'll think that he can wear you down or something. I know it's stupid, but that's how some people think.
It's even worse if it's somewhere you work and you HAVE to be there every day. Better to be a little bit rude than to have a new super-creepy stalker who thinks that if he just keeps talking to you, you'll some day magically accept his advances. Plus, asking where you live 10 minutes after meeting you is creepy, no matter how old the guy is.
@LuckyLadyD (359)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Hi LilPixelle:
Men are from Mar, Women from Venus!!!! I'm sure you have heard of that before, right?
Well, we as women would feel uncomfortable, and that the man is out of line. But, just read the comment from BlueGoblin.
Where we take offense, and feel its creepy to be approached by a man who's obviously our senior, men see it as a compliment.
Apparently, they only see us as barefoot and pregnant even in this day and age.
@LilPixelle (828)
• United States
8 Mar 09
They see it as a compliment to approach a girl that is just barely legal, and hit on her? not even "you seem like you will make some man very happy some day, wish it were me." kind, but rather "Come to my apartment tonight." kind... That just doesn't seem right at all. btw *pokes reply to bluegoblin*
@the_dutchess (2610)
• Philippines
7 Mar 09
Yeah, that is really creepy. I've had same situation but that was when I was in a bus and a man approached me out of nowhere asking things like that. That's a smart answer to say that you just live somewhere instead of giving the exact location really. I guess what you could do is just be plain casual and end the conversation. Try to show it that you're not interested by just answering a plain yes or a no to his questions or shrugging your shoulders; at least they have a hint that you're not into it.
@LilPixelle (828)
• United States
8 Mar 09
That might be a good beginning way to go, should get the point across pretty good :) *keeps this one in her arsenal*
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
16 Jun 09
First of all I think it is good that the man left after you told him you were only 16. It would have been even creepier if he continued to hit on you after finding that out. I don't know why a man that age would think he even had a chance with a young woman of 18 or 19 years of age. I remember similiar things happening to me when I was young, it is pretty creepy. I am 43 years old now, but I was in Las Vages a few months ago, and I was in the elevator going up to my room, and there were several people at the begining, and it weeded out to me and this little old guy who was at least 80. I smile at him to be polite, and he proceeds to wink at me and started hitting on me. It was really creepy, but when I got off the elevator I couldn't decide weather to gag or laugh.
@LilPixelle (828)
• United States
16 Jun 09
*shivers* I feel really bad for the girls who don't have the nerve/self esteem to tell these guys to bug off...
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Yeah, creepy. It's equally creepy to have someone much younger approach you too. I am 34 and I'm married, but I am convinced I have a bullseye on my forehead and my back that says 'if you're a creepy perv, young or old, come visit'. It is just as yucky to have your son's friends make comments when they are in your house and they don't know you can hear them (LOL) as it is to have some guy older than your dad make comments about your legs.
I don't know what to do about it, while compliments ARE nice, I don't like the way they come out, which is creepy. I've told friends that I adore compliments from THEM, but it's different when it's from a friend, know what I mean?
I don't lie about my age either, I NEVER have, but people believe I'm being fictitious. Usually people think I am much younger than I say and then they are rude because they think I'm trying to pull one over on them. I don't have time for that brand of drama.
The best thing to do is just be honest and perhaps say 'no i don't have a boyfriend and I'm not married but that doesn't mean I'm interested either. Have a nice day.'
The best thing to do is just be honest and perhaps say 'no i don't have a boyfriend and I'm not married but that doesn't mean I'm interested either. Have a nice day.'
@LilPixelle (828)
• United States
8 Mar 09
I never would have imagined it would be creepy coming from one of your son's friends, but it makes sense... I guess for me, it would be something like an 8 year old friend of my munchkins calling me hot... that would be creepy... Lorl
And you are right its different from friends, mom, etc :P
@imaginelove (181)
• United States
7 Mar 09
Yeah there are allot of creepy guys out there that like younger woman. A man that is around 40 should not be talking to a girl that is 18. He should talk to a woman his own age. Men know that young women are vulnerable and they like to prey upon them. That's what I think! An 18 year old girl should date someone close to her age and a 40 year old man should find a woman between 35-45 years old. Not a 18 year old girl!
@LilPixelle (828)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Its one thing if he was just being kind to the young lady for kindness' sake, like fixing her car or helping her out with something and they happened to fall in love, but I agree, that that much older of a guy shouldn't be directly seeking that much younger of a girl :P and the guy was about 60 :P Just so you know :D
@samson1967 (7414)
• India
8 Mar 09
I am a man, there are few women in my locality who are 10-15 years eldest to me, but they propose me and invite to their house/private place. It is not only elderly man falls for younger girls, even older woman want to date young mens.
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
9 Mar 09
I have had older men asking me out, and the first time I told the man I had a boyfriend. He didn't know that I didn't and it was for me to politely declain any more advances from him. Then this other older guy asked me out recently and when he asked me to have dinner I told him I wasn't allowed LOL. He kind of like followed me around and it was really creepy, good thing I know the mall cops from working there.
@BlueGoblin (1829)
• United States
7 Mar 09
This should be taking as a complement as the gentlemen clearly felt an attraction towards you. Men are clearly designed to seek out suitable mates that will bare him many children. Women his age are most likely past the life giving stage.
@LilPixelle (828)
• United States
8 Mar 09
Are you suggesting that at 16 years old, I shouldn't be creeped out in the slightest that a 60 year old man is hitting on me, not just in a way of "Lets fall in love and get married" but more of a "Drop by my apartment tonight." kinda way? I should feel flattered, that some guy 40 years older than me would enjoy being in my personal physical space? That shouldn't creep me out?
You might want to rethink what you are trying to say :P Because I don't think its coming across the way you want it to.
1 person likes this
@alyciassecret (542)
• United States
14 Mar 09
Gross, these men are disgusting. You say he seemed to almost be a senior citizen and actually had the balls to hit on you? I think he thinks that he can try to get into your pants. I've had a lot of older men hit on me too, I don't know why they do it. But the younger you are, the more there are older men that will approach you. I think it's coz they think you're young, fresh and innocent and won't know what they're up to or wouldn't tell him to f*ck off like women in their 20s do. These men are just so disgusting, I thought a man about 65 walked toward me and said, "You got a nice *ss". I was so shocked that I just didn't even say anything! This was last year in downtown LA. I wanted to run away.
